Bipolar Check-in #75

Pinny · May 05, 2023 at 02:13 PM

I’m working tomorrow night and Sunday night (

) but I’m off Monday day and Tuesday day.

My friend is having a baby shower next month. I’ve never been to one but I’m helping organise it. I don’t really know her friends so I’m a bit anxious, but I’m sure it will be fine.

I attended a book club this eve. It was really enjoyable. I’ve never been to one before but it was so nice to connect with people and express views.

I hope you’re all doing well

Nammu · May 05, 2023 at 03:06 PM

Oh, Pinny a book club sounds nice. I’m sure the baby shower will turn out fine.

Had my yearly check up. Ohhh shudder. I dislike my dr. The whole time he addressed the interpreter not me. Asked her how many times a year I gave blood, was tempted to let her try to answer! He totally ignored me. I have no faith in him, but he did agree the high white blood count was just an abnormality that could be followed up with a later blood draw. Everything is fine, all my levels except the white blood count and the iron was in the green. My iron is high but as I give blood every 6 weeks not an issue. And I have no symptoms of any kind needing to worry about the high white blood cells. No fever, no rash, no fatigue, no weight loss. So I’m fine till next year. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Plus he was wearing a mask. Nobody wears masks anymore. It’s rude to wear a mask around a deaf person. But no matter, it’s over. I see my pdoc in June. But he’s much better. Knows how to work with interpreters. If my anxiety gets worse I can always email him too.

Pinny · May 05, 2023 at 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Oh, Pinny a book club sounds nice. I’m sure the baby shower will turn out fine.

Had my yearly check up. Ohhh shudder. I dislike my dr. The whole time he addressed the interpreter not me. Asked her how many times a year I gave blood, was tempted to let her try to answer! He totally ignored me. I have no faith in him, but he did agree the high white blood count was just an abnormality that could be followed up with a later blood draw. Everything is fine, all my levels except the white blood count and the iron was in the green. My iron is high but as I give blood every 6 weeks not an issue. And I have no symptoms of any kind needing to worry about the high white blood cells. No fever, no rash, no fatigue, no weight loss. So I’m fine till next year. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Plus he was wearing a mask. Nobody wears masks anymore. It’s rude to wear a mask around a deaf person. But no matter, it’s over. I see my pdoc in June. But he’s much better. Knows how to work with interpreters. If my anxiety gets worse I can always email him too.

Thank you Nammu. I’m so sorry about your experience with your doc. That sounds… cold.
That’s so bizarre they addressed your interpreter!
I hope your anxiety doesn’t get worse!
Lots of hugs

Mountaindewed · May 05, 2023 at 03:13 PM

I'm feeling just blah today. I was so bloated this morning I could barely button my pants. My stomach and head hurt all day. I got my first bloody nose as an adult. I felt this weird pain in my right nostril and I pressed on it and blood started coming out. I got a kleenex in time. Now I'm just super tired and we had a minor crisis which was fixed in about an hour. The workers were here again so there wasn't anything to do. The neighbor guy got pissed at them for making so much noise so early and waking him up and he yelled at them. They didn't seem to care. Angry neighbors make me nervous though. Especially in these times. But yeah I'll probably just have a sandwhich and try to get to sleep semi early.

~Christina · May 05, 2023 at 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I was having a good day until I read this article about how they are thinking about making gabapentin a controlled substance

. I take 800mg of the stuff four times a day. And if I don't take it I have nightmares! I absolutely CANNOT go off my gabapentin and knowing my luck, if they do make it controlled, I'd get an IP doctor who would take me off it cold turkey.

Ugh!!! So mad!!!!

I already take 40mg of diazepam scheduled. I don't want to be on TWO controlled substances.

Anyway. Other than that I'm good

. Got some Journaling and novel work in this morning. Slept in until 4:00AM. The seroquel increase seems to be helping my sleep for the most part. Still have been having nights where I wake up at around 1:30AM and can't fall back asleep. But I think it's just because I'm excited to write

Gabapentin is a controlled drug here in Tennessee but there’s no reason to worry you will be taken off it. It’s a medication that could be abused but doesn’t happen to everyone. Breath

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

~Christina · May 05, 2023 at 04:30 PM

Nammu your Doctor sounds like a major jerk. Can you look for mother one?

Wild hang in there hun

Soupe .. thinking if you

Hugs to everyone !

~~~~~

I’m just in a holding pattern. My nerves are wearing really thin with all this physical pain.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Nammu · May 05, 2023 at 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Nammu your Doctor sounds like a major jerk. Can you look for mother one?

Wild hang in there hun

Soupe .. thinking if you

Hugs to everyone !

~~~~~

I’m just in a holding pattern. My nerves are wearing really thin with all this physical pain.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah, he is a major jerk, he turned his back on me to talk to the interpreter sometimes blocking my vision! Unfortunately there’s not much choice. The only other available person is a nurse.

I was just perusing my labs. My white blood cells have been high for the last three times of blood labs! My iron goes up and down. Guess I need to keep an eye on it.

wildflowerchild25 · May 05, 2023 at 05:54 PM

Back to depressed. Oh how I wish I could find stability again. I only took 5mg of lexapro today because of the mixed episode I seemed to be going into. I might as well just drop it. 5mg does nothing and 10mg is too much. Idk why he won’t give me Emsam. He’d rather me do ECT than just give me a drug I know will work. It’s frustrating. He’s a nice enough guy it’s just clear that he’s not going to trust my own judgment of myself and meds.

I’m hanging all my hopes on ECT at the moment. It’s worked so well in the past. Maybe if I think more positive it will help. Because let me tell you, my thoughts are not at all positive at the moment.

I left work early AGAIN. They know I have medical problems (they don’t know it’s a mental illness) but I can’t just take off whenever I want without a dr note. I don’t know how many more years I’m going to be able to work full time. I guess it doesn’t help to think about, really.

I did get six months of stability last year into this year. I’ll get back to that again, I hope.

Samicat · May 05, 2023 at 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I was having a good day until I read this article about how they are thinking about making gabapentin a controlled substance 😡. I take 800mg of the stuff four times a day. And if I don't take it I have nightmares! I absolutely CANNOT go off my gabapentin and knowing my luck, if they do make it controlled, I'd get an IP doctor who would take me off it cold turkey.

Ugh!!! So mad!!!!

I already take 40mg of diazepam scheduled. I don't want to be on TWO controlled substances.

Anyway. Other than that I'm good

. Got some Journaling and novel work in this morning. Slept in until 4:00AM. The seroquel increase seems to be helping my sleep for the most part. Still have been having nights where I wake up at around 1:30AM and can't fall back asleep. But I think it's just because I'm excited to write

Hey there - I'm a writer too! Five chapters in (with several written that I'm having to move later in the book). My book is a general fiction/mainstream novel with a speculative element (Fantasy). Would love to hear more about yours.

And I hope they don't restrict gabapentin. I don't know why they would do that.

Samicat · May 05, 2023 at 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Back to depressed. Oh how I wish I could find stability again. I only took 5mg of lexapro today because of the mixed episode I seemed to be going into. I might as well just drop it. 5mg does nothing and 10mg is too much. Idk why he won’t give me Emsam. He’d rather me do ECT than just give me a drug I know will work. It’s frustrating. He’s a nice enough guy it’s just clear that he’s not going to trust my own judgment of myself and meds.

I’m hanging all my hopes on ECT at the moment. It’s worked so well in the past. Maybe if I think more positive it will help. Because let me tell you, my thoughts are not at all positive at the moment.

I left work early AGAIN. They know I have medical problems (they don’t know it’s a mental illness) but I can’t just take off whenever I want without a dr note. I don’t know how many more years I’m going to be able to work full time. I guess it doesn’t help to think about, really.

I did get six months of stability last year into this year. I’ll get back to that again, I hope.

My heart goes out to you. My illness has always been a problem with taking "too many" sick days etc with my previous employer. To them, four occurrences per YEAR was too much.

I hope the ECT works for you, but I think maybe you should find a doctor who will give you the Emsam. Especially if it worked before. I'm sure you already know that you need a "wash out" period of 14 days between taking a SSRI and a MAO inhibitor.

Is THC legal where you live?

Samicat · May 05, 2023 at 06:18 PM

I'm so excited guys! I bought an E-BIKE today!!!

A major frustration in our new city has been that we don't have a vehicle and it's not very pedestrian-friendly so we haven't explored much. We won't be able to afford a car until spring. So - this will help me find out where everything is and give me some fun and exercise. Unfortunately my husband can't ride a bike due to his vision, and we tried a tandem but they are not designed for the woman to ride in front, and also my husband didn't feel secure. So anyway... introducing my new toy:

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/02...g?v=1679328749

It's a folding bike so I can easily store it and take it into places thus avoid bike theft.

I had an e-bike before years ago and they are a lot of fun. The motor really helps in a hilly environment like my current city, and you still get plenty of exercise. In fact studies show e-bikes get used more and therefore they tend to produce higher levels of fitness.

Samicat · May 05, 2023 at 09:31 PM

Took my new bike out for a ride. It was great fun! I rode for miles and came home drenched with sweat even though it's cool and overcast here. I kept the power-assist on the lowest level (which basically compensates for the weight of the bike) except when cycling uphill. The bike also has a throttle to give a burst of speed which is great for safety.

The only hard part was getting it up the stairs when I came home. That sucker is heavy. Oh well I will get muscles.

Just had a shower and feel happy! I forgot how good intense exercise is for lifting depression.

Oh and I found out how to attach the photo without a link (you can click to see it bigger)

Samicat · May 06, 2023 at 01:31 AM

Ok so sorry for all the posts but this is funny - I now have a "ring of fire" on my butt and inner thighs in the shape of a bicycle seat. Like literally the skin is swollen, itchy, red and sore.

SO itchy. Even though I took a shower right after getting home. I guess this is "saddle sore."

Pinny · May 06, 2023 at 03:24 AM

Please don’t apologise for posting @Samicat

That sounds amazing!!’ Well done for going out for such a long and intense bike ride! That’s brilliant you’ve just thrown yourself into it!

I’m sorry about the “ring of fire” though…

Rosi700 · May 06, 2023 at 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Had my yearly check up. Ohhh shudder. I dislike my dr. The whole time he addressed the interpreter not me. Asked her how many times a year I gave blood, was tempted to let her try to answer! He totally ignored me.

What an idiot ...

Rosi700 · May 06, 2023 at 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Back to depressed. Oh how I wish I could find stability again. I only took 5mg of lexapro today because of the mixed episode I seemed to be going into. I might as well just drop it. 5mg does nothing and 10mg is too much. Idk why he won’t give me Emsam. He’d rather me do ECT than just give me a drug I know will work. It’s frustrating. He’s a nice enough guy it’s just clear that he’s not going to trust my own judgment of myself and meds.

I’m hanging all my hopes on ECT at the moment. It’s worked so well in the past. Maybe if I think more positive it will help. Because let me tell you, my thoughts are not at all positive at the moment.

I left work early AGAIN. They know I have medical problems (they don’t know it’s a mental illness) but I can’t just take off whenever I want without a dr note. I don’t know how many more years I’m going to be able to work full time. I guess it doesn’t help to think about, really.

I did get six months of stability last year into this year. I’ll get back to that again, I hope.

Some doctors are so inside their own head only; and forget to listen to the patient's experiences.

Hope ECT helps!

Rosi700 · May 06, 2023 at 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samicat

Took my new bike out for a ride. It was great fun! I rode for miles and came home drenched with sweat even though it's cool and overcast here. I kept the power-assist on the lowest level (which basically compensates for the weight of the bike) except when cycling uphill. The bike also has a throttle to give a burst of speed which is great for safety.

The only hard part was getting it up the stairs when I came home. That sucker is heavy. Oh well I will get muscles.

Just had a shower and feel happy! I forgot how good intense exercise is for lifting depression.

Oh and I found out how to attach the photo without a link (you can click to see it bigger)

Yes, physcal exercises (in this or that way) can have an antidepressant effect!

Rosi700 · May 06, 2023 at 04:00 AM

I got burned by the sun yesterday. Will stay inside most of this day to shield my skin.

Pinny · May 06, 2023 at 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosi700

I got burned by the sun yesterday. Will stay inside most of this day to shield my skin.

Ah I hope it’s not too bad @Rosi700

Pinny · May 06, 2023 at 04:09 AM

I’m working tonight so I’m going to try and get some sleep this afternoon!

But hopefully it will be ok.

Other than that I’m just going to try and get through the next couple of nights then I have a trip for a conference next week then I’m going to stay at my friend’s in London for the weekend!

I’m really looking forward to seeing her! We’re very good friends.

I think I’ve been doing ok lately. I seem to have come through what I thought was a mood dip. But I’m still very tired and worried about it.

I haven’t got a new pdoc sorted yet but I will do. It’s just because I moved house so I need to get a new one.

I hope you all have a lovely day today

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Bipolar Check-in #75

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~Christina Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jul 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!) 12 12.7k hugs given	May 05, 2023 at 04:30 PM #26 Nammu your Doctor sounds like a major jerk. Can you look for mother one? Wild hang in there hun Soupe .. thinking if you Hugs to everyone ! ~~~~~ I’m just in a holding pattern. My nerves are wearing really thin with all this physical pain. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~

Samicat Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2023 Location: Canada Posts: 553 1 1,590 hugs given	May 06, 2023 at 01:31 AM #33 Ok so sorry for all the posts but this is funny - I now have a "ring of fire" on my butt and inner thighs in the shape of a bicycle seat. Like literally the skin is swollen, itchy, red and sore. SO itchy. Even though I took a shower right after getting home. I guess this is "saddle sore."

Pinny Grand Member Member Since Feb 2022 Location: Scotland Posts: 772 2 768 hugs given	May 06, 2023 at 03:24 AM #34 Please don’t apologise for posting @Samicat That sounds amazing!!’ Well done for going out for such a long and intense bike ride! That’s brilliant you’ve just thrown yourself into it! I’m sorry about the “ring of fire” though…

Rosi700 Grand Member Member Since Nov 2022 Location: Overseas Posts: 757 1 2,850 hugs given	May 06, 2023 at 04:00 AM #38 I got burned by the sun yesterday. Will stay inside most of this day to shield my skin. __________________ There is always hope ...