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Default Jun 04, 2023 at 06:32 AM
  #521
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Originally Posted by Samicat View Post
To be fair on sites like this, I've noticed that if I make long posts people are less likely to respond. I'm not sure why, but I think maybe focus is an issue when people are emotionally overwhelmed. Sometimes I include a tl:dr (too long didn't read) summary at the end to help people understand.
I agree with that (that long posts can be difficult to read for those with cognitive problems at the time being because of depression or other), Samicat.

I think this is the only time I have asked espesially for support Usually I let it be up to people to decide if they are able to say some comforting words or not (people are in differnt conditions here).

What happened was that I found something online that functioned as if somebody smashed right through my outside and into my most vulnerable parts. May be it wasn't well written, but thanks again for your quick response to it.

When I took the step to tell I was disappointed, I didn't do that because I like to cry out for help for the smallest "thing". That is far from my personal way of being in this world. BUT, and that is important: I think it is better to be honest about how one feels then to smile into the face of others and then talk about them behind their back.

I have met such a person online once (that smiled into my face and told me everything I said was OK and then turned around and talked behind my back), but that does not matter to me anymore.

I found other ways to get help for the crisis I suddenly experienced, yesterday, then waiting for help from my fellow-sufferers here. I am OK now, but very tired.

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Default Jun 04, 2023 at 06:57 AM
  #522
@bizi

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Dear @Rosi700

I loved this post from you. I just now read your long post. It seemed that your father was kinder to you and more artistic in his life, you tend to gravitate toward him. Are you close to him are they still living?
bizi

Thank you so much, bizi! My father died several years ago. I am much more like him then I am like my mother, even if I have some traits from her as well. The real problem I talked about in the long post, was remembering my teen age years, the way it was, feeling that I was not accepted. It was as if I was that teenage girl again. I crashed. It is strange how it is possible after many years to still be pushed back into old feelings.

I have a good relationship with my mother now. I had a good therapist in my student time, that helped me to see myself and value my good traits.

Thanks again for taking the time to read the long post. I very much appreciate that you did that!

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Default Jun 04, 2023 at 12:36 PM
  #523
I fell asleep at 7 last night after eating 2 eggs for dinner. I woke up at 1:45 in pain but I couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. But it made me feel super frustrated. Finally I took 3 of the meds my gastro doctor prescribed and a zofran and I fell asleep until 7. I was up for about half an hour but then I fell back asleep until right before 10. I took some tylneol and my stomach feels pretty good right now

This cold can go garggle tartar sauce though. I was coughing in my sleep again this morning and I've been blowing my nose again all day and coughing and I just don't feel great. I emailed my therapist and asked if she wanted to switch to virtual or have me wear a mask. She said its up to me. So I'm waiting a bit to see how I feel before I respond to her. Like what is the polite thing to do now...

My niece is over while my sister and bil and my nephews go see the new Spider Man movie. It was a spur of the moment thing but my mom was just like "sure" I'm guessing this will go on throughout the summer. We have the kids tommorow afternoon too while my sister is at a meeting.

I ate some soup for dinner and I feel decent right now.

I'm doing strangely good on just 2 valium a day. Kinda even better then on 3 a day. Go figure. I'm not having as many intrusive thoughts and I'm getting more done around the house. I'm finally getting my room deep cleaned. I got my closet floor clean and my floor swept. I got my laundry done and I have 2 more loads out of like 5 to put away. I'll do that in the morning. I'm taking my time. In IOP we learned you don't have to do everything all at one time.

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Default Jun 04, 2023 at 01:59 PM
  #524
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Originally Posted by Rosi700 View Post
I agree with that (that long posts can be difficult to read for those with cognitive problems at the time being because of depression or other), Samicat.

I think this is the only time I have asked espesially for support Usually I let it be up to people to decide if they are able to say some comforting words or not (people are in differnt conditions here).

What happened was that I found something online that functioned as if somebody smashed right through my outside and into my most vulnerable parts. May be it wasn't well written, but thanks again for your quick response to it.

When I took the step to tell I was disappointed, I didn't do that because I like to cry out for help for the smallest "thing". That is far from my personal way of being in this world. BUT, and that is important: I think it is better to be honest about how one feels then to smile into the face of others and then talk about them behind their back.

I have met such a person online once (that smiled into my face and told me everything I said was OK and then turned around and talked behind my back), but that does not matter to me anymore.

I found other ways to get help for the crisis I suddenly experienced, yesterday, then waiting for help from my fellow-sufferers here. I am OK now, but very tired.

I'm glad you got support and that my response helped. Please feel free to PM me if you like, at any time. I will not turn on you like that person you say did - that's awful.


It's funny how the past can slam us in the face. It's been happening to me a lot lately because I'm at a turning point in my life.
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Default Jun 04, 2023 at 04:27 PM
  #525
My husband's eldely older brother has seriously injured himself and is in the hospital. When he fell, he was desperately calling for help, but his wife who sleeps in another room did not hear him, because she was passed out drunk, like usual. The neighbor's heard and called for help. Firemen had to come to breakdown the door to get him to take him to the hospital. His face is injured, as well as his spinal cord. He has refused a suggested surgery. My husband's eldest sister, who also lives in Germany (near Munich), will see him tomorrow. My husband will likely join his other sister, who lives near us in Czech Republic, to drive to Munich. I'll stay home, which seems appropriate.

My brother-in-law is the same age as my recently departed father.

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Default Jun 04, 2023 at 04:32 PM
  #526
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
My husband's eldely older brother has seriously injured himself and is in the hospital. When he fell, he was desperately calling for help, but his wife who sleeps in another room did not hear him, because she was passed out drunk, like usual. The neighbor's heard and called for help. Firemen had to come to breakdown the door to get him to take him to the hospital. His face is injured, as well as his spinal cord. He has refused a suggested surgery. My husband's eldest sister, who also lives in Germany (near Munich), will see him tomorrow. My husband will likely join his other sister, who lives near us in Czech Republic, to drive to Munich. I'll stay home, which seems appropriate.

My brother-in-law is the same age as my recently departed father.
Oh no. Sending healing vibes to bil.

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Default Jun 04, 2023 at 05:34 PM
  #527
It was beautiful weather this weekend, with warm sun and cool air. I was happy to spend it quietly with no hypomania. Last year i was hypomanic May, June and July, so there is still cause for caution. But i feel a fragile hope for a future without hypomania and the foolish and hasty decisions and chaos that come with it.

@Soupe du jour:

So sorry to hear of your brother-in-law's injury. Sending healing vibes.
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Default Jun 04, 2023 at 08:02 PM
  #528
I'm so sorry, @Soupe du jour, about your brother in law. I hope he has a quick recovery. You have been through so much, be kind to yourself.

I'm experiencing Seroquel hangovers now that I'm at 200mg. The target is 300. I've gained 14 pounds. This better be worth it. No change in mood so far.

I'm not driving myself to IOP because I'm so drowsy until about noon. I'm glad my son can drive me there and back. I have a week left on the program.

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Default Jun 04, 2023 at 09:01 PM
  #529
More of a vent, but I have to wonder how many people I'm going to have to deal with in the mold of my father. I've already dealt with two. Both felt slighted for no reason, and so both decided I needed to be brought down a peg or two. How, you ask? Through the time honored tradition of grown men engaging in Mean Girls-style passive-aggressive sniping. What was hilarious (to me, at least) was how angry these people looked when I didn't rise to take the bait. It's typically not effective bullying if I'm trying my hardest not to laugh!

Tomorrow morning is, hopefully, my last follow-up regarding the back surgery. I get that done and it's on to the next medical catastrophe. Certainly feels the part.

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 12:30 AM
  #530
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Oh, I have many values ... One of them is to never give up whatever comes in my way. Another value can be to stand up for people who in some way or other are feeling outside of society, like Native people. I cannot name all my values here.

Nohooo! I do not praise others for things I only like about myself. You have misunderstood that, but that doesn't matter.
i think you misunderstood me, but now I'm not sure how to better explain it. lol
like i was saying you shouldn't just praise others, you should praise yourself too

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 01:24 AM
  #531
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My husband's eldely older brother has seriously injured himself and is in the hospital. When he fell, he was desperately calling for help, but his wife who sleeps in another room did not hear him, (...). My husband will likely join his other sister, who lives near us in Czech Republic, to drive to Munich. I'll stay home, which seems appropriate.

I am sorry to hear about this!

Even if this is bad, hopefully some time alone, can be good for you now when you yourself are not so well! Try to relax as much as you can even if you are worried for your husbands brother.

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 01:33 AM
  #532
@Aurelius710 Hope you are done for a while after your last examination of your back!

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 02:52 AM
  #533
@Samicat Yes, the past can sometimes hit us in the face out of nowhere. I have made myself a list with "happenings" that I shall use when starting to feel down. So I tell myself to look at the list to see if this or that is something I need to use my tools from my "toolbox" on. Usually that works fine.

This time I found some information about my fathers mother that wasn't right, put out by one of the relatives of my biological grandfather. (My father would have been 99 now). Of course that was not on my list. Who expects to be hit by 100 years old problems?

I am OK now and will "watch myself" for the next few days to see if I am on "the right track". There are many "things" we cannot control in this world, so we have to learn to live with them.

I wish you well in this time where you are at a turning point in your life.

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 06:25 AM
  #534
I am beginning to feel too happy (out of context). When that happens, one of my tools is to print out a calendar page and observe myself for two weeks as I at the same time use a strict (follow to the point whatever I feel) schedule. I have printed out the calendar page and I now move on to my next point on my schedule. Hope I am helped with these tools.

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 11:20 AM
  #535
Just a flip flop of emotions. Realizing that recovery life is not for me, the demands of it is not helpful to my mental health. My sponsee said that she was going to "fire me" because she was pissed off at something I did that shouldn't have affected her because I was helping out another addict.

I was in that rehab for 14 months, I think I've done my part - but they keep pushing "service work" as how you stay sober, but I'm done. My husband won't be coming out of the psych hospital for a long time, and I have never felt more alone, I can't deal with all this recovery crap.

I can't pray, I feel nothing so what the heck is the point.

Just overall angry today.

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 11:23 AM
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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 11:46 AM
  #537
@LadyShadow

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(...) and I have never felt more alone, I can't deal with all this recovery crap.

I can't pray, I feel nothing so what the heck is the point.

Just overall angry today.

Sorry to hear how you struggle. Sending good thoughts your way!

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 02:33 PM
  #538
I'm feeling worse today. Yesterday I developed some kinda muscle ache in my right shoulder blade. It hurt like a ***** and nothing I did was helping and I was being crabby because of it. This morning my mom got me a roll on Icy Hot stick and it was like magic and the pain has been pretty well managed.

My cold has gotten worse and so have my gastro issues. I keep coughing up white foamy stuff and I'm coughing a lot. My stomach hurts a lot and I can't eat much. I had virtual therapy today and I was so close to puking because I was lying down and I had the ipad digging right into the part of my stomach that hurts.

But at least my moods have been better since getting the icy hot. Like once I put it on it worked instantly and I snapped out of my bad mood.

Currently I'm just prertty nauseated and not hungry and achy. I took my 3rd dose of my stomach med so I'm hoping things calm down a bit.

I do admit the debt ceiling was giving me a ton of anxiety and now that its settled my anxiety has lessned a lot.

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 05:03 PM
  #539
I have an umbilical cord hernia behind my bellybutton Have to call and get a referral for a surgeon to get it fixed. It's VERY uncomfortable. The doctor at urgent care managed to push the intestine back in and I felt much better, but it popped out again and I can't push it all the way back in. Boo hoo!!! What a kill joy.

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 05:22 PM
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I have an umbilical cord hernia behind my bellybutton Have to call and get a referral for a surgeon to get it fixed. It's VERY uncomfortable. The doctor at urgent care managed to push the intestine back in and I felt much better, but it popped out again and I can't push it all the way back in. Boo hoo!!! What a kill joy.
I had an umbilical hernia repair surgery. It wasn’t too bad. Hope you feel better soon!!

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