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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
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#1
I have been craving he feeling and sensatin from self harming. i feel like it would fix me. i havnt done it in 3.5 years and i know its unhealthy but even klonopin isnt helping this feeling inside me. but whats stopping me is im on blood thinners. i dont know how dangerous it would be to self cut on blood thinners so its stopping me. but today was my last dose of those. what will stop me tomorrow? __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
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#2
also..... had to go to the ER on thanksgiving day for phlebitus nd coughing up blood. i was fine but the CT scan showed a mildly enlarged heart. should i see my pcp for follow up fo r this?
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
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#3
If it helps the blood thinner will be in your body for a while so you can keep using it to keep yourself safe.
I would see my PCP about an enlarged heart. He may refer you to a cardiologist but I think that is the place to start. I hope the new med kicks in soon and you feel better. Good luck with your paper! __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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bizi
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
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#4
thanks. ive gotten fourpages so far and only starting 3 of 5 parts. its pretty easy its abut ethical dilemmas and using the NASE code of ethics.
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
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#5
i really wish i could utilize a crsis line but i cant cause theyll send the cops
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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#6
You could still call and tell them you're struggling but not tell them you PLAN on hurting yourself but have urges and they won't call the cops. Really emphasize that you won't do it and do your best to come up with alternative coping skills with them.
__________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
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bizi
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
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#7
I jus layed in bed until I fell asleep eventually. Its better today. Not ruminating as much..yet.
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, Tart Cherry Jam
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
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#8
I'm glad it's better today.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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bizi
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HALLIEBETH87
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
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#9
thanks. im still having the urges and feel scik with anxiety
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, raspberrytorte, Tart Cherry Jam, Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
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#10
I had t stop the trintelllix because i was throwing up from the nausea it caused. satan is full in attack mode for me. my fiance was gonna go to church with me today and he ruined that. long story. i got a c in my class even though i tried really hard on every assignment whihc means i cant start my practicum in january now. how embarassing. i feel like just quitting everything and holing up in my room away from everyone and all their expectations of me. i feel like giving up my near four years of being self harm free and giving in. i try so hard NOT to do it. why does it even matter?ive been crying all evening. i wish i didnt have to hide my messy breakdown. i cant even just be depressed. i wont see my pdoc again until august. hes now part time and that was his soonest though i am on cancellation list. who knows. i mesaged them about having to stop the trintellix. asked for something-anything else. didnt tell them details. too afraid to. i see my t again tuesday but i feel like cancelling.
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,908
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#11
Please don't cancel.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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bizi
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
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#12
I really wish I could go and just throw it all out but I know what will happen. he will say i need IP and i dont. im not suicidal or anything. yes ive been picking my skin but not using sharps. i just wishi didnt have to hide it from everyone
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,908
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#13
Tell him you don't need IP but xyz. I think providers are to fast with IP. I hope you can find the words to tell him what needs to be said without IP.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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bizi, HALLIEBETH87
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HALLIEBETH87
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
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#14
So sorry about that C, after all your efforts in class.
__________________ Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Geodon 40 mg Seroquel 75 mg Lybalvi 5 mg as a PRN Gabapentin 1200 mg, Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long term side effects from medications some of them discontinued: - hypothyroidism - obesity Suspected narcolepsy Treated with Ritalin 5mg |
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bizi, HALLIEBETH87
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HALLIEBETH87
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Insert Smiley Face
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
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#15
__________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. |
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bizi
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
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#16
my heart is pounding really hard and fast, and im freaked out by it
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, raspberrytorte, Tart Cherry Jam, Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#17
i have a mildly enlarged heart according to my dr. i see her follow up on wednesday. ugh. hope its nothing serious
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, raspberrytorte, Tart Cherry Jam
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#18
i feel like my tears could flood this room im in. i wish i could go home.
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, raspberrytorte, Tart Cherry Jam, Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
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#19
and im seeng bright silver stars exploding around me
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#20
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND now everything has gone to ****. my psychiatrist is insisting i be seen by a collegue as he is going part time and says i need t be seen by someone sooner than he can. i hate this
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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