[Blueberrybook]

It's getting to be a habit that every November or December I end up in the hospital with a manic episode with psychosis.

This year was particularly bad as they had me in restraints for days and days, I lost my voice, they took me off all my meds but olanzpine (off that one now and on Seroquel instead) and trazodone. And a lot of things happened in December - Christmas, my daughter's birthday, we had to put our first cat to sleep, my washing machine was broken for 2 weeks all on top of the hospital. December was a very expensive month. They said at the hospital I had lithium toxicity, but I don't know, I was throwing up a ton before they checked my blood, and it follows the lithium levels would be high with less water in my system. Thankfully, a lot of the hospital stay I barely remember and lots of it I don't remember at all.

I had horrible brain and muscle zaps (maybe from Cymbalta withdrawal?) I still have numb and tingling feet and ankles; whether that is from medication withdrawal (I was on something like 10-12 meds at a time over the course of a decade) or the meds were masking a pre-existing problem, I don't know. I have an appt. with a neurologist next week to check it out because it is getting old even hampering things like my ability to drive.

On the plus side, I have more energy than I've had in 10 years. I finally can read books again after struggling with it for over 5 years, and I have some motivation to actually do a little housework and cook (not much but more than I was doing before which was nearly nothing).

So maybe it's a bit of a mixed bag, but I do hope I stay out of the hospital in 2024. It costs a fortune.

[Crazy Hitch]

You’re a fighter. A warrior for coming out this on the other side. Kudos to you.