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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,513
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Apr 13, 2024 at 07:03 PM
#641
So far no more rectal bleeding but as I said I started my period. The preparation H is helping. It has yet to be seen if the Miralax and Colace are working.
My visit with my non-boyfriend was nice. We found the train station and the parking lot for our trip in a few weeks. My cat has been chillaxin in her tunnel. It’s got some screen mesh she can look out of. __________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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 bizi, LadyShadow, Mountaindewed, raspberrytorte
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 24,952
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Apr 13, 2024 at 07:11 PM
#642
Pretty good day today, accomplished not too much, but still feel pretty good. Not symptomatic.
Thoughts keep going to my husband, I listened to "Green Eyes" by Coldplay and started bawling my eyes out. It was a song he said he used to sing in the jail cell to me when he missed me. I can't even listen to music anymore because there are so many songs that remind me of him. It's really sad, but I think I am getting over it. __________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
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| bizi, Moose72, Mountaindewed, raspberrytorte
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,217
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Apr 13, 2024 at 07:17 PM
#643
well my grandfather is still with us but is still actively dying. im gonna really miss him but ive been visiting a lot. luckily hes at home being cared for by hospice.
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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| bizi, June08, raspberrytorte
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,929
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Apr 13, 2024 at 09:01 PM
#644
I'm just a leach on society. I can't do anything right. Love doesn't mend mental illness. I can't help anyone. I don't know how to just rot away. I don't know what to do anymore.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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| bizi, June08, LadyShadow, raspberrytorte, wildflowerchild25
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Insert Smiley Face
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,623
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Apr 13, 2024 at 09:40 PM
#645
Quote:
I mean.... what's the fukking point?! 😭 __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 
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| bizi, June08, LadyShadow, Victoria'smom
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Victoria'smom
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Insert Smiley Face
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,623
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Apr 13, 2024 at 09:51 PM
#646
Well, I accomplished some things today at least. I read through all my submissions. Rejected all but two (I always feel like such a **** rejecting people, but even if we're only a tiny ezine and I can't pay people I still want the best for the site). I just need one more short story and I'll be set for the May issue.
Got my interview questions done and emailed out. Now I just have to finish the book I'm reading so I can write my book review! I was going to give this book four stars, but it just dipped down into three stars. I don't like the author's writing style and the whole drinking all the time thing is getting old. Plus, the killer is OF COURSE schizophrenic, which is really fukking cliché. __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days.
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| bizi, June08, LadyShadow, Mountaindewed
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,874
18 44k hugs
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Apr 13, 2024 at 10:40 PM
#647
Went to a student jazz concert.
It was terrific.drums, upright bass ,sax ,trumpet, piano, guitar. Really great bunch of students so talented. It was Tims recital, and he played sax and clarinet. Going to a play tomorrow, It should be good. next week is jazz week. the student combos beginning and intermediate and advanced Then the faculty play a concert. Hubby is not happy they are not going to have time to practice so they will practice 2 hours before the concert. Hubby plays classical and jazz guitar. so lots of music and 2 plays in the next 2 weeks Love it. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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| LadyShadow, raspberrytorte, unaluna
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ɘvlovƎ
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 18,632
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Apr 14, 2024 at 12:39 AM
#648
Went to meet my daughter for lunch in the city. Now I know why I live in the country. I feel a wreck. Too loud and too many people. And I hate the train and trams. Busy, crowded. Got home and had a very hot bath to try relax. Anxiety now about a 7/10. Still there not completely gone. I’m
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,509
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Apr 14, 2024 at 08:49 AM
#649
I've kept down half a protein cookie, half a piece of toast, a bottle of Mountain Dew, and a Slim Fast, all in the past 6 hours. My stomach is on edge right now but I've kept everything down.
I got my room cleaned up a bit. I need to wash my comforter though. I just threw up some bile and a pepcid but nothing that was a big deal. I mean, I don't know if this is a big deal or not but I've kept more down today then I did yesterday. __________________ Ridin' with Biden Last edited by Mountaindewed; Apr 14, 2024 at 11:05 AM.. |
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,513
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16 2,571 hugs
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Apr 14, 2024 at 12:19 PM
#650
Having coffee. Got shorts and a T-shirt on - it’s supposed to be 74 today! I’m having money troubles since I got my industrial piercing. I made the minimum payment on the card I used to pay for the piercing and may have to do that with my other credit card. I hope next month will be better. I always pay my credit cards in full so this is unusual for me. Spent too much on my piercing and I’m going to have to charge my follow up appointment for my industrial piercing. They are going to change out the titanium bar for a shorter one and I was looking into getting something for my first lobe piercings. It shouldn’t be too much. I may end up not getting the jewelry for my lobes. Depends on how much they are. At this rate I won’t be able to buy anything in our trip in less than 3 weeks.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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| LadyShadow, Mountaindewed, raspberrytorte
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 24,952
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12 9,316 hugs
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Apr 14, 2024 at 02:06 PM
#651
Feeling pretty good today. Mom and Dad are in the kitchen cooking chicken curry - it's a west indian favorite from my childhood that my parents try to give me every now and then. I really love my parents - I don't know where I would be without them. Remembering my gratitude list so I can keep focus on the present.
My mind still goes back to my husband every now and then. Remembering that it was my dad who saved me by putting him on a bus back to New York - I would have never had the strength to do it. Just feeling at ease and at peace for once and it's nice to have some company - sometimes being at home can be really lonely. __________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,217
19 2,746 hugs
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Apr 14, 2024 at 04:46 PM
#652
took my niece to church today. man i love her. we have a close bond. i get to baptize her soon. i gave her a new teen bible today. we also went goodwill shopping. i found some shorts and a nice top at goodwill. ibe lost 45lbs and down a size so i buy a few new things every now and then. now ive got dinner in the crockpot while my husband is out with a friend. we almost have everythingall settled in the apt.
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,509
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Apr 14, 2024 at 05:21 PM
#653
Ugh why don't people read the room
I kept dinner down. Yay. My energy level is still crap. My therapist is not really understanding but I think its on me. Its just I'm normally really sick now at that time but if she doesn't have anything in the morning, then she doesnt. I told her and she just said she was packed this week. I think I'm just cranky. I ignored her email which isnt like me. I wonder if she knows I'm a bit pissed. __________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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| LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,217
19 2,746 hugs
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Apr 14, 2024 at 06:41 PM
#654
pawpaw got to go to church today. i know how important it was to him as he is dying. they told us the process could last 2 days-2 weeks. hes been in hospice for a week now. my heart is breaking
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 24,952
(SuperPoster!)
12 9,316 hugs
given
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Apr 14, 2024 at 07:11 PM
#655
Codependency issues are flaring up big time. I have the payphone numbers to the hospital where my husband is at and it's taking EVERY LAST OUNCE of strength not to call him.
God please grant me the serenity now because this is so effing hard. __________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,929
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Apr 14, 2024 at 09:04 PM
#656
So we have an encampment under our deck. Now Victoria is pissed that we called the police and encampment team. She won't talk to us. She thought we would feed them and stuff. I would love too but it's not safe. She feels this she stole everything from them.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2022
Location: USA
Posts: 132
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Apr 14, 2024 at 11:07 PM
#657
Kind of out of the blue, I find myself wishing I would have found a pdoc back in 2019 when I first thought "if this isn't bipolar disorder, I don't know what is." I can see I was to caught up in the manic (hypomanic?) thoughts that God was calling me to reform a certain corrupt organization. So, I followed where God "wanted" me to go and, instead of seeking treatment, ended up joining this emotionally and spiritually abusive group for a year and a half, with my time there ending in a very traumatic way.
I'm trying to find a way to grieve what was lost by being diagnosed in Sept. 2021 instead of 2019 without spiraling or completely beating myself up about it. The temptation is to be really hard on myself. This will be a good think to talk with my counselor and pdoc about, but I don't see either of them for a few weeks. __________________ Lamotrigine: 300 mg Bupropion: 150 mg Risperidone: 1 mg |
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| JaneOnceMore, raspberrytorte, unaluna
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,513
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16 2,571 hugs
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Apr 15, 2024 at 09:21 AM
#658
Quote:
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2018
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,212
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Apr 15, 2024 at 03:13 PM
#659
I'm feeling better. I'm getting about 5 hours of sleep now that I'm on low dose Seroquel.
Hypomania has reduced. The bad news is that I have a significant Seroquel hangover in the morning, which lasts until the afternoon. __________________ * Dx: Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorder * Rx: Remeron, Prozac, Klonopin, Vraylar My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,513
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16 2,571 hugs
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Apr 15, 2024 at 04:09 PM
#660
Went to Starbucks and used the remaining money on my app to pay for a drink. Now I can’t reload it because I have to pay for my piercing being downsized this week. I did, however buy menstrual products. While at the store I noticed that they sell that period underwear - forget the brand name- but like the menstrual cups they had they were expensive. I’ll be good to go next month with what I got today - just tampons and pads. I’m old fashioned I guess. I also finished one of the two books I got last week. Interesting read.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) Last edited by Moose72; Apr 15, 2024 at 04:30 PM.. |
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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