Bipolar Check-in #79

BeyondtheRainbow · May 16, 2024 at 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

I am on loxapine but I am guessing that my inability to pee was due to it.

I had huge EPS issues on loxapine. I had full body muscle tightness, uncontrolled oral movements, and I can't remember what else. I think I had trouble urinating but was able to do so with effort.

Sorry you're having trouble.

June08 · May 16, 2024 at 10:29 PM

My doctor's appointment yesterday was okay I guess. My doctor wasn't willing to do exactly what I was hoping for, but she was willing to prescribe a med that would limit the amount of times I would have hormone fluctuations throughout the year. My plan was to talk with my pdoc about it and a concern I had about this option. But, the med was denied by my insurance so it doesn't really matter anyway. CVS sent me an email saying it was denied and that I'll get a letter with more details. Although, as I type this, I realize I didn't update my address with them---whoops! I have to pick up a different med anyway so will ask them about it then.

MuddyBoots · May 17, 2024 at 09:50 AM

I don't know wtf happened last night, but I swear half the police force was outside. Is it bad I saw them and immediately thought "what did I do now?" lol.

I'm supposed to meet with a friend in a bit and my partner later on. I don't want to do either. I saw a thing on reddit where someone said they kept thinking/saying "I want to go home" despite never really having a place they could call home, and I feel that. None of the places I've been felt like home, but right now I could really use the comfort affiliated with a "home." I don't know. Right now I just don't want to be.

Victoria'smom · May 17, 2024 at 02:32 PM

I just want to be normal. I'm on the search for a new apartment. It's daunting seeing my list of needs. I'm worried my accomodations won't go through. I really want one place I saw but I have to get together the housing deposit. That's going to take me months and it'll be gone by then. I want to just give up. My husband is depressed so he's sleeping all the time. My dog is old so she's having trouble. My kid barely says hi to me. Nothing is getting done in the house. I asked to hire a cleaner and was met with opposition. I can only do so much. We need to get in order before Victoria's friends come. I wish we could pack and move right now. Vocational rehab isn't getting back to her. Everything is just a **** show. I hate being depressed.

MuddyBoots · May 17, 2024 at 03:28 PM

I’m in Rhode Island. I don’t know why. I hear the beaches are nice so I guess southbound we go???

This isn’t like when I went to WV, totally aware, am with one person I know as well as you can expect for meeting them a couple months ago and barely talking to them and their friend. I got to drive on I495 and apparently my suicidality is shown in both the fact I got onto 495 and the way I drove lol. Before we hooked up to the big boy they made me switch. Wimps. Must’ve never crossed the border other than going to the dispensaries that might as well be in NH haha.

I don’t know if I’m going back to NH. I can be convinced, but I have enough packed for a night so I guess I have enough for life. I was supposed to spend the night with my partner tonight. Guess that ain’t happening because I am NOT taking the roads through MA again, but busier.

Why do I do this stuff? I don’t even enjoy it except for the “I don’t know what’s next” feeling I always have, but now it’s with a change of scenery.

LadyShadow · May 17, 2024 at 04:23 PM

Haven't been here in a while, went back a couple of pages on the thread to give hugs and see how everyone is doing. Things have really changed in the past few days for me since I backtracked and called my ex.

I met someone. Well actually, I know someone. I have been talking to him since January since Giovanni left. The greatest thing about this is, it was just a private message conversation back and forth every day for the past five months. No romance involved, just genuine friendship, conversation, and advice from someone who knew about all I was going through. Things have evolved since then, and even though I have zero intention of going into another relationship, it feels so good to feel feelings again.

It looks like I can finally close the door on my relationship with Giovanni. I am open to new possibilities and moving on. My pdoc appointment is on Tuesday, and even though I know she's going to yell that I've stopped my morning meds, I have never felt better.

Mountaindewed · 06:40 PM

I did something bad and I drank an energy drink this morning with 200mg of caffeine. I asked my mom to get me a Prime hydration water and she got me an energy drink instead. It didn't do anything. Just caused me to be focused all day instead of BS on my phone. I didn't even take my first valium until almost noon and I'm not even sure I took the 3rd one.

I watched the first 2 episodes of the new season of Allstars, the last episode of Quiet On The Set, and this documentary on Barney The Dinosaur. I knew it was cool to hate him when I was in kindergarten back in 1998, but I didn't know it was an actual thing with an I hate Barney fan club and messed up creators and cast members and death threats and all that ****.

Now I'm just chilling out doing nothing. I've puked a couple times today but it was mostly just this morning when I threw up a ton around 2AM. Luckily I fully woke up this time and I had a bucket next to my bed.

Scooter9 · May 17, 2024 at 06:25 PM

I went to the gym today despite my swollen feet, 4 hours sleep, and Vraylar withdrawal symptoms.

I worked out at medium intensity, just arms and legs. I didn't feel better afterwards, but I went and tried anyway.

Blueberrybook · May 17, 2024 at 06:47 PM

Sorry I haven't posted much lately. I've been feeling kind of "meh" if not downright depressed lately. I have idiopathic peripheral neuropathy, and it has been really bad lately. Neurologist prescribed me gabapentin & oxycarbazepine, but it doesn't help at all.

Lost power last night because of bad storms in the area. I didn't sleep well at all without the fan and air conditioning on; it was hot and stuffy. We were out of power over 15 hours, and after that, I had to end up junking stuff in the refrigerator - raw meat, milk, cheese, butter, etc. Probably lost over $100 in food.

Grr...listening to my daughter's online National Honor Society induction, but they start the livestream out with a PTA meeting...WTH?! Really feel like crawling into bed but need to wait for my daughter to get inducted. At least our last name is near the front of the alaphabet, so once the darn PTA meeting is over, hopefully, DD will be inducted near the start of the ceremony, and I can try to sleep.

June08 · May 17, 2024 at 08:21 PM

I got the letter from CVS explaining why my insurance denied the med my pcp prescribed. I didn't even think of this until my pcp had told me the med had to be pre-approved. It has to be pre-approved because my insurance plan (which comes from my job at a Christian school) only covers meds that are considered birth control for very specific conditions. My pcp coded it as needed for PMS, which makes sense since I'm sure there isn't a code she could send in saying the med would be used to manage bipolar symptoms. But, PMS symptoms is not one of the accepted reasons by my insurance plan.

This bites. How is it that insurance companies are allowed to have so much control over someone's life solely based on codes doctors send in!?

I know risperidone can mess with hormones. Maybe, I'll get lucky and my overly sensitive to medications body will allow risperidone to mess with my hormones in a way that will end up working in my favor...

raspberrytorte · May 17, 2024 at 08:53 PM

UGH!!! It's like the world WANTS me to stay on seroquel or something. My pharmacy messed up my 50mg tablets and only gave me 30 for the month when I was supposed to get 60 so I ran out early, halfway through filling out my meds for the week. I finished without the 50s, but couldn't remember when exactly I'd ran out in the week and my Lamictal tablets look very similar to my 50mg seroquel tablets, so I accidentally took 100mg of seroquel this afternoon instead of just 50mg. FUKK! HONESTLY! I'm getting frustrated 😠. I have to pay closer attention but half the time I'm not wearing my glasses and I can't see shyt without them.

At least I didn't fudge up last night and take my 200mg tablet!

Anyway, so needless to say I've been STARVING ever since noon. I just keep on getting fatter and fatter and FATTER. Like, getting to the point where it feels like there's no return. I feel so hopeless. 😪

unaluna · May 17, 2024 at 10:00 PM

@Blueberrybook i just heard about the storm damage in Houston. So much damage omg. Losing groceries geez we hardly have budget to buy them once, let alone twice.

MuddyBoots · May 18, 2024 at 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter9

I went to the gym today despite my swollen feet, 4 hours sleep, and Vraylar withdrawal symptoms.

I worked out at medium intensity, just arms and legs. I didn't feel better afterwards, but I went and tried anyway.

Nice job going to the gym! Vraylar withdrawals aren’t fun especially with the long half life making it longer than other meds. Hope you slept better last night with working out and everything.

MuddyBoots · May 18, 2024 at 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Sorry I haven't posted much lately. I've been feeling kind of "meh" if not downright depressed lately. I have idiopathic peripheral neuropathy, and it has been really bad lately. Neurologist prescribed me gabapentin & oxycarbazepine, but it doesn't help at all.

Lost power last night because of bad storms in the area. I didn't sleep well at all without the fan and air conditioning on; it was hot and stuffy. We were out of power over 15 hours, and after that, I had to end up junking stuff in the refrigerator - raw meat, milk, cheese, butter, etc. Probably lost over $100 in food.

Grr...listening to my daughter's online National Honor Society induction, but they start the livestream out with a PTA meeting...WTH?! Really feel like crawling into bed but need to wait for my daughter to get inducted. At least our last name is near the front of the alaphabet, so once the darn PTA meeting is over, hopefully, DD will be inducted near the start of the ceremony, and I can try to sleep.

Hope you feel better! Losing power sucks, I’d say even more so in hotter months. At least if it’s cold you can put food outside and keep warm with a fire or bundling up or even exercising if it’s not THAT cold. Hope you got some good rest too.

Mountaindewed · 12:36 PM

I don't feel good at all today. Yesterday I felt fine. I slept ok. I woke up at 2:30 and I was throwing up my Dr. Pepper and plain pad thai forbidden noodles. I threw up a bunch more until I fell back asleep from 4 something to almost 7.

I've had zofran, pepcid, pepto bismol, advil. I just feel sick today. I just now took my pantropaloze. I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary. Idk whats up today.

I found a thing of chicken broth in the fridge so I made myself a cup in a coffee mug. I guess I'll just do what I need to in order not to puke anymore.

I really dont feel good. I just threw up some heartburn and I have cold sweats and I'm just exhausted.

Now I'm feeling a bit better after eating lunch. I need to eat an hour after my second pantropalzole. I'm under my bamboo blanket which makes a huge difference in my cold sweats. And I took more pepto bismol.

Hoping the worst of it is over for the day.

MuddyBoots · May 18, 2024 at 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June08

I got the letter from CVS explaining why my insurance denied the med my pcp prescribed. I didn't even think of this until my pcp had told me the med had to be pre-approved. It has to be pre-approved because my insurance plan (which comes from my job at a Christian school) only covers meds that are considered birth control for very specific conditions. My pcp coded it as needed for PMS, which makes sense since I'm sure there isn't a code she could send in saying the med would be used to manage bipolar symptoms. But, PMS symptoms is not one of the accepted reasons by my insurance plan.

This bites. How is it that insurance companies are allowed to have so much control over someone's life solely based on codes doctors send in!?

I know risperidone can mess with hormones. Maybe, I'll get lucky and my overly sensitive to medications body will allow risperidone to mess with my hormones in a way that will end up working in my favor...

Man, is there anything your insurance would cover BC for? I have PMDD and I think without mine I’d be institutionalized (and/or pregnant at that).

MuddyBoots · May 18, 2024 at 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

UGH!!! It's like the world WANTS me to stay on seroquel or something. My pharmacy messed up my 50mg tablets and only gave me 30 for the month when I was supposed to get 60 so I ran out early, halfway through filling out my meds for the week. I finished without the 50s, but couldn't remember when exactly I'd ran out in the week and my Lamictal tablets look very similar to my 50mg seroquel tablets, so I accidentally took 100mg of seroquel this afternoon instead of just 50mg. FUKK! HONESTLY! I'm getting frustrated 😠. I have to pay closer attention but half the time I'm not wearing my glasses and I can't see shyt without them.

At least I didn't fudge up last night and take my 200mg tablet!

Anyway, so needless to say I've been STARVING ever since noon. I just keep on getting fatter and fatter and FATTER. Like, getting to the point where it feels like there's no return. I feel so hopeless. 😪

These meds, man, I swear if they come out with something without weight gain or EPS I’d go for that shyt in a heartbeat. If my insurance didn’t cover it I’d become a sex worker AND a drug dealer 😝

MuddyBoots · May 18, 2024 at 10:42 AM

Last I remember I took an elbow to the face, woke up with not even a clue what state I’m in, and now I feel great lmao. I guess an elbow to the face and some sore muscles are as good a treatment for depression as meds and therapy (don’t recommend and don’t remember what I did and I have a couple ideas…)

Blue_Bird · May 18, 2024 at 01:32 PM

I’m actually sleeping since my Thorazine and abilify were increased and my Zoloft decrease for the mania. I’m really tired during the day though I’m sure that will hopefully wear off as I get used to the adjustments. I slept 8 hours last night according my Fitbit. I feel on the verge of falling asleep and it’s 2:30pm now, I’ve been up since 10am. I’m trying to push myself to exercise but I don’t have the energy right now.

My sister is coming over tomorrow. Should be nice. She’s bringing takeout.

I’m probably playing yugioh and watching shows with my boyfriend today as he has a three day weekend off work so we’re spending time together.

I might try to draw something. I need to practice violin to prepare for my next lesson but I keep procrastinating lately.

Blue_Bird · May 18, 2024 at 01:36 PM

I haven’t had any THC since Monday. I have it here I just am trying to avoid it for a week or two so I can adjust to these med changes before trying it out again. But in moderation this time. Not an everyday thing like I was doing for two weeks straight. It will help not being manic, I have a lot more self control when I’m not manic. It’s gonna be a weekend thing and like as a way to relax at the end of a weekend day. Not all day everyday cause that made things worse.

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Bipolar Check-in #79

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,106 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.9k hugs given	May 17, 2024 at 10:00 PM #952 @Blueberrybook i just heard about the storm damage in Houston. So much damage omg. Losing groceries geez we hardly have budget to buy them once, let alone twice.