Bipolar Check-in #79

Bad night of sleep. Went to bed at 1:30AM and woke up at 3:30AM wide awake. Oh well. I had a couple of good nights in a row. So I'm still happy.

Thinking about just asking my pdoc if I can try wellbutrin again, for weight loss purposes. I wasn't on seroquel last time I was on it, so maybe I wouldn't have such bad anxiety on it this time. If it doesn't work out I can always go back on Cymbalta. I don't know though. We'll just talk about it. My appointment with him isn't until April 3rd anyways.

After I threw up last night I got to sleep fairly quickly. I took my meds and then fell back asleep. I woke up at 5:30 feeling pretty ok. My stomach is a off now but I've taken some tylenol and a zofran and I'm lying down. My anxiety and depression are still fine. My concentration is a ton better. I've been watching Project Runway all day. My pdoc told me I'd have massive anxiety and I don't... I'm even downplaying other stuff people are concerned about. My appetite is still low and I am finally down a couple pounds.

How do you know if you have heartburn or are having a heart attack? I literally can't tell. But idk why my OTC stuff isnt working but my actual meds are. Its weird. I tried a different kind of pepcid today and it still isnt helping. It could be that new spiced Coke though.

If you think you are having a heart attack you should get it checked out. That's the recommendation of things like the heart association; better to be wrong than to not go and be wrong.

I think you consume a lot of acidic beverages that probably contribute greatly to your stomach issuesl. Can you try going to just water and milk for a while to see if it improves? Coffee and soda are really not great for your esophagus and stomach.

I second that, both to get it checked out (heartburn vs heart attack) and to drastically cut down on the beverages you have been consuming a lot.

I just took my blood pressure and it was 153/93. Idk. I see my new primary doctor tommorow. I'll take it again in a couple minutes. I know at my home health visit for my insurance the nurse said I had a heart mumur but said it wasn't a big deal. Idk. I don't feel too stressed right now after eating something.

About 15 minutes after posting this my blood pressure was 143/94. Then awhile later it went down to 126/86

Well now its 138/81. I just have some cramps in my chest mainly.

But I've only taken 1 pepcid, one zofran, and 2 tylenol. Which is less then normal. I just feel crappy in general but I think it can wait until 11AM tommorow when I see my doctor

Damn it! I was reviewing my aftercare summary from urgent care. My blood pressure was 124/91 and it says if your blood pressure is over 120/80 you have high blood pressure and need to schedule an appointment with your GP. I guess I'm scheduling an appointment with Dr. Amy tomorrow. I don't want to have high blood pressure!!!! It's freaking me out. It just makes me feel even fatter. I mean, what's next? Diabetes? High cholesterol? Heart attack? Stroke? God!

Anyway, I'm having a much more productive day. Did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, did the cat litters. Now I just have to vacuum and write my flash fiction.

I would not worry so much about this reading from the recent urgent care visit. You were probably very stressed out at the urgent care, hence an anomalous reading. If you consistently have blood pressure over 120/80, that is another story, but this one reading could easily have been an outlier. Your GP will probably tell you to get a BP monitor and keep logging daily readings until you see a pattern.

I have a tendency to low blood pressure so it is the opposite problem, but still the internist told me to get an OMRON cuff. She said not to get wrist monitors as they are not reliable. And OMRON is the best brand. So I got it. Another thing is that you have to sit QUIETLY for at least 5 minutes before you take the blood pressure. At the urgent care they probably did not wait for you to do that, or did they?

Even I occasionally have blood pressure at or a little above 120, and my typical readings are between 101-112 systolic and at times I have seen my blood pressure drop below 90. So I am clearly not hypertensive, but still infrequently the BP is above 120.

Been a good week for the most part. Just got back from a special IMAX early showing of Dune Part 2. I really enjoyed it. Some major departures from the source materialtohich will make any potential sequels an... interesting prospect. A sequel would touch the second book in the series and the departures set up here will make that sequel even more different.

On its own, it's a good movie. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday evening!

I picked up an extra day of work for at least the coming month, possibly longer. Proper forty hour weeks! And then I get a "Make more sales!" spiel.

Now February was a bad sales month for our area. It was a bad sales month for me. Fine. Dandy. I get it. My boss is hearing from her bosses and is relaying the message. What I didn't get was her relaying this message in the most infuriating and insulting way possible.

They (my boss and her boss) have decided that the reason my sales were down was because I was helping too many people. We're talking putting phone cards on, new activations, transfers, etc. Now, I'm not required to do that (my mandate is sales), but I'm good at it. I'm fast at it. (I can do all of what I just mentioned in ten minutes or less.) I have the knowledge base and the skills to do this stuff quickly, efficiently and correctly. *Put a pin in that statement.*

So, they said I was helping too many people because I was too nice. "Kind-hearted" was the term used. Well, that pissed me off. Not just because the subtext was that I was too weak and a pushover, but because they misread the situation so badly. I don't do what I do out of some bleeding heart altruism, though if somebody gets helped out it, win-win. There are some people I despise, but I love their tech problems. I get as much, if not more, enjoyment out of solving a complex problem as I do selling a phone.

We'll see how it goes going forward, but I don't appreciate how all that went down Saturday. We'll see.

Thanks for making me feel a bit better. Normally I have excellent blood pressure. I was VERY stressed and anxious at urgent care, sick, and coughing up a lung, and no, they didnt have me sit quietly for five minutes. I'm still making an appointment with my GP though, just to put my mind at ease.

Thanks again. I'm giving you a HUGE virtual hug.

My husband made me feel better too because he said when he had covid his blood pressure was high, but at his recent physical, while not sick, his blood pressure was low.

So I'm thinking my blood pressure was a little high because I had pneumonia, but of course I don't know for sure.

My blood pressure is 132/99 and I have chest pains and I'm out of breath and I feel weird. I see my doctor in a few hours.

I go down to my last 100mg of Seroquel tonight and after 7 days, I stop.

Doing alright so far.

My anxiety is up so I'm taking Klonopin twice a day now, and that helps. I'll talk with my pdoc about increasing my dose.

Still feeling low, but we've been having some sun for the past several days, maybe that'll help (I doubt it though since I was still low during the summer but who knows)

My new doctor was 45 minutes late and had pretty bad bedside manners. This is my moms and my brothers doctor and she said he is always like this and it wasn't me or anything I was doing. He wasn't rude, but just not friendly. He kept looking down at my pants too which made me uncomfortable. He prescribed me a new antacid and said my 130 blood pressure was ok. He did say Wellbutrin can take up to a year to work. Its more of a lifetime thing. And he wants me to see ENT for some stuff. My mom wasn't bothered by him but I kinda was. Like dude be friendlier. Anyways I'm feeling better now after getting him out of the way.

I just threw up. Again. Idk why. My chest was hurting and I had just taken my meds. Idk. I feel ok now.

I saw my psychiatrist today for the first time since September (I had refills on meds for everything but Adderall, but i had to see him in person and I didn't have a way to get to him). He didn't chastize me to harshly, but inisited we can always communicate and do telehealth visits and do what we can and need to through it. I appreciated that. He is titrating me back to my old dose of Adderall, and next week I'll start my old dose again. I go in tomorrow for a drug test and I should be good for a while. I do have to prior authorizations to care about, but that's a problem for another day. I got my meds and I'm doing OK.

Brentus

I just took a bunch of meds because I'm DESPERATE for sleep. I've been up since 2:30AM and I've never felt more awake. These warmer than average temperatures are REALLY ****ing with my mood. I absolutely HAVE to take a nap and NOW because my husband has work tonight and it'll be just my daughter and I and I don't want to get all tired and crabby. Hopefully the meds I took put me to sleep.

I have to call the first week of March again about my shytty sleep because I got my seroquel refill and they didn't change my prescription. Luckily I get my prn seroquel refill soon. I guess they are waiting until my pdoc is back in the office the first week of March. I'll just deal with it until then.

I hang my head in shame. I feel terrible about this, but I abused the shyt out of my propranolol, am completely out, and can't get a refill until March 30th! It's horrible, but I did it to myself. Was thinking about calling and saying I lost it or it fell in the sink or some shyt, so I can get a refill sooner. I can seriously feel my heart pounding in my chest 😫. It's making it even harder to fall asleep. Again, no one to blame but myself for being a propranolol junkie.

@Mountaindewed

Sorry your new doctor was such an asshat. Personally, for me, it seemed like wellbutrin started working at maximum strength around three months.

I am PISSED. I am thoroughly insulted! A different doctor from my pdoc's office just called me (the stupid lady who took me off sertraline and Haldol cold turkey and I went crazy, overdosed, and ended up IP) and we were talking and she was all like, "You sound slurred. Have you been drinking?" I don't drink!!!! My mouth was DRY. And she was ignoring everything I was saying. The call was pointless. Pretty much she just told me not to nap during the day, just take my prn seroquel at night, and suck on sugar free candy for my dry mouth. And she was all like, "Do you take 10mg of diazepam before bed?" DIAZEPAM DOESN'T MAKE ME TIRED. Why does everyone think diazepam is supposed to make me tired?!

So she was unhelpful. If I go manic it's her fault because she's useless and thinks I'm a slurred lush.

I want to talk to MY doctor!!!!! Not that stupid woman.

I'm giving my pdoc a huge hug when I see him next!! Sometimes I forget how good I have it with him. He actually LISTENS to me. We can actually have a CONVERSATION, where he takes into account what I have to say. He doesn't treat me like I'm a ****ing moron.

And I realize I'm not the most easiest patient to deal with, since I'm always making med changes on my own and just, I don't know, being a pain in the *** in general. I've pissed many psychiatrists off. My current pdoc has the patience of a saint!

Part of me thinks I need to call my pdoc. Another part just thinks I have some bug and I'd be wasting his time. But I'm really nauseated and I feel like throwing up and I can't eat much. I don't know. My stomach hurts a lot.

Do you think it's the wellbutrin not agreeing with you (which I realize would really suck)? Have you taken a zofran? When did this all start?