Bipolar Check-in #79

I don't know. Seems like a win-win.

Was really worried the past few days because I got little to no sleep, and I am not taking my morning meds. Very worried about a manic episode, but I think if I keep my thoughts straight and my mind clear from racing thoughts, I should be okay. Last night, I slept really well with my CPAP and feel really refreshed and balanced this morning.

Missed church, so was a little upset about that, but I know there is always next week. Really excited for my new relationship and being able to move on from my ex. I had been battling with the pain for so long, that it now feels good to feel feelings again. Thinking positive and strong for the upcoming week ahead.

I slept through the night and without throwing up for once. I did throw up a bit around 7, but not much. I wonder if the probiotic is starting to help.

Today I feel ok. A little bit anxious. Or maybe its just stomach stuff. I did drink a few sodas. But I think my doctor increasing my lamictal and Prestiq will be a good thing. I don't see how he can say no with everything going on. He isn't that big of a douche bag, and I'm not asking for much.

I'm not doing much today. I ordered a bunch of groceries but thats it.

I've started meticulously counting calories again. Goal: no more than 1200 calories per day, and I've started my exercise regime again, except I have to be careful with how many sit-ups I do so I don't tear my hernia mesh. I'm whipping this fat, flabby body back into shape! I am MOTIVATED. I CAN do this. It feels good to exercise again, even if I am badly out of shape. I stopped exercising after my hernia repair surgery in July. It hasn't even been a year yet! It's amazing how fast your body can go downhill.

It's sad, but I'm getting old. It's time to start taking care of myself.

I think the sertraline is starting to make me feel better already. I'm actually starting to feel motivated to do things. I actually have energy! It's great! I'm even novel planning again. Thank you sertraline. I ❤️ you.

@MuddyBoots according to the letter CVS sent me, my insurance only covers BC for hypermenorrhea, dysfunctional or abnormal bleeding, amenorrhea, PCOS, hyperandrogenism, hirsutism, and dysmenorrhea (if other treatment methods have not worked for this last one).

Does Goodrx have a coupon for your BC pills? I don't know the name of any pills so I can't look up whether they offer discounts on BC but when my insurance didn't cover something goodrx did help a lot. Or the OTC pill? Again, I don't know the cost.

So they don't actually cover birth control pills for birth control? Okay.

I'm a mess, Victoria wants to move out.

That's a good idea to look into! Do you know if they have consistent prices? Or, if prices fluctuate often?

@June08 I'm not sure how it works over time but they do give coupon prices that are pretty heavily cut for a lot of meds. You have to have the pharmacy run (often re-run) the script not on your insurance . I finally remembered ortho-trycyclen and ran it through the Access to this page has been denied. search engine. The prices for generic started at $6 something and went up to $14. You just pick a price and print the coupon that goes with it. I think. You may have it transfer to something that sends the coupon to the pharacy directly. I seem to remember doing that.

How can victoria afford to move out?

She can't. She just started looking for a job but is getting on low income housing lists with her gf. I just looked it up it's a 10 week to 10 year waiting list. So we'll see when her name comes up. I told her to continue school and save at least half of whatever she makes. I'm hoping it takes awhile but not to long. My bet is 3 years before we have to have a serious conversation about gf staying here.

I don't typically get manic but I'm not sleeping despite zzquil, unisom, and melatonin, and I bought 3 pairs of shorts and a button shirt and $67 worth of groceries. I've been a bit risky. Just with like the energy drink on Friday and then mixing Unisom and Zzquil. I feel a bit restless. I keep getting up to weigh myself. My moods are kinda on the higher end.

Is this mania? Possibly the zzquil maybe?

Ugh. I drink iced green tea like a fiend (think up to three gallons per day) and I put a peppermint tea bag in with my green tea bags. What a mistake! It's so gross it's nauseating. Honestly, never again. I DO NOT recommend. Thankfully the gallon is almost gone, but damn.

My whole body hurts from exercising, but that's good! It means I'm accomplishing something! I'm going to call my surgeon's office today and just ask them if it's safe for me to do 600 sit-ups per day with my umbilical hernia mesh almost a year post op. I DO NOT want to tear it. I DO NOT want to have to get surgery again!!!! That was one of the worse experiences of my life!

Anyway, I slept from 11pm to 1am and have never felt more good or awake or motivated!

I consumed 994 calories yesterday. Yippie!

This fat, flabby body will be no more!

I've been doing some novel planning. So many questions. So few answers. I hate this stage of planning! I know I'll eventually figure everything out, but damn.

Tmi, but I've been pouncing on my husband as of late. Will say no more. Lol. I would pounce on him right now, but it's 2:42AM. And he worked three long days in a row and is all tired and shyt and I don't want to wake him up.

Let's just say that my theme song right now is Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye. Lol. I've been wooing my husband with that song.

Alright. Back to planning! I WILL figure this novel out!

Damn it. It's 5am now and I'm trying to go back to sleep but the bird fukks are chirping outside and they're loud!!! Plus I'm all hot and bothered because my husband is mostly on my side of the bed right now and he's half naked. Sorry for the tmi but honestly, just trying to get some shut eye here! I shall have a resting period.

I finally got to sleep at 1. Then I slept until 7. So it wasn't too bad of a night. I feel good today in a non manic way. I think I just am legit feeling better for the first time in awhile from my stomach stuff. I think the probiotic is making a big difference. I had the energy to take a shower today and I made some fries in the oven and I did the dishes. My anxiety and moods are good. I haven't thrown up since 7AM yesterday. I look a lot less bloated too.

@Mountaindewed

That's great!

Called my surgeon's office and spoke with a nurse. She said I could do sit-ups, but that I should start small, like with 20 a day (yeah right. How about 200!). She said I wouldn't tear my mesh, so that's good. She said that my fifty pound weight gain is probably from not exercising for almost a year. Gotta whip this body back into shape! No problem. 😊 Especially now that my mind is at ease about my hernia. I'm happy I called.

Went out for lunch with husband. Well, I ate before we left and just had three diet cokes but my husband got food and I have to say it looked delicious! Much better than my plain baked potato and cup of watermelon I had beforehand. But I must stick to the diet.

I'm making more progress with my novel planning!

Just took my afternoon anti-anxiety pills. Hoping they make me sleepy so I can get some rest. If not, I may have no choice but to take a stupid seroquel. I'm going up and up and UP. My husband commented on it. He said, "You're getting manic. I can tell because you're not sleeping, excited and inspired."

I'll be fine though. 🙂 No problems. I want to fly.

raspberrytorte, I think you should listen to your husband. Reading your posts, I think he may be right. Sorry about that. You don't want to mess with mania. Fun at first, but the crash sucks big time.

Spring is here and it's so unusual to not be hypomanic. I've been hypomanic in Spring for most of my life (57). I haven't been hypomanic since the Summer of 2022. Perhaps this is the new normal?

I gave up on playing Scrabble competitively online against other humans. At first my rating rose and i thought my game was in good shape. But then it took a deep dive. I lost about 15 of my last 20 games. It was unpleasant. I figure i just had stellar luck at first, but really my game has deteriorated quite a bit.

So i'm back playing the dumb bots again now. I figure since i'm not playing at club anymore, there's no need to redevelop my game. It's just to have a nice time doing something i am good at and feel better about myself, to pass the time and exercise my mind. There's no need to be so intense about it.

Hugs to all who need them!

I saw the pdoc today. He's putting me back on Cymbalta. I had been on it but was taken off it in December. I really hope this helps. My depression has been pretty bad lately, and I'm afraid I'll end up in the hospital if it doesn't get better.