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Mountaindewed
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Default Today at 12:33 PM
  #921
My stomach kinda hurts but its not a big deal. I just took a couple Tylenol a few minutes ago. I'm making Milky Way pudding and also a box of zero sugar all pink Starburst jello and a box of zero sugar blue raspberry Starburst jello.

I'm tired. Not sure why. I felt good this morning and I've only taken 1 valium. I'm just a bit low right now. I don't feel depressed.

I felt like one of my ulcers was going to rupture but I don't think that can happen. I know they can bleed. I'll call my doctor in the morning. I took some nausea heartburn Tums and they are helping. I'm also sitting up straight.

Edit: I took a 40 minute nap and I feel a lot better.

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Today at 04:11 PM..
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Blueberrybook
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Default Today at 01:02 PM
  #922
I was able to read a chapter & a half in my book!

I am SO glad the mania is beginning to curb. Now I'm just hoping my sleep improves.

I'm a lot calmer today than I've been since this bout of mania hit. I'm also taking my full dose of Seroquel again (started last week after promising H I would when he got a list of all my prescriptions from my pdoc and I had to admit the Seroquel I had in the pillbox was 150 mg, not 300 mg as prescribed). For the longest time 100 mg Seroquel worked for me...until it didn't.

Peace & love to everyone! Have a wonderful Sunday

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Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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Heart Today at 01:22 PM
  #923
@Blueberrybook Glad that you are feeling better. Being able to sit long enough to read is amazing!!!!!!!

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Default Today at 02:38 PM
  #924
My trip is still going well. We went to my friendís cabin last night which was really nice. I slept better there than I have the entire trip. And, I managed to be able to take most of my meds without them in the room. The cabin is practically a one room cabin but I was able to take them before my friend and her kid got up. This friend told me she didnít agree with my diagnosis when I first got diagnosed and Iím assuming her kid doesnít know so I didnít really feel comfortable with the thought of taking my meds in front of them.

I head home tomorrow. I love my friend and her family, but part of me that has been experiencing depression symptoms for awhile is somewhat ready to be home again.

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Default Today at 03:25 PM
  #925
I'm fine with Husband taking another gummy.... just as long as he doesn't drink while he's on it! He texted me and said he's definitely NOT drinking after having one. I'm definitely not taking that shyt however. He feels okay today, just a little hungover. Luckily he texted me that work is slow today, which is good. He said he was sorry and thanked me for taking care of him and I said it was fine and there was no reason to apologize and that he takes care of me all the time. ❤️ ❤️

I just love him SO SO much.

I wish I could post a picture of us on here. 😊 I got some good ones last night.

Having a Bad Omens day and laying in bed under the blankets trying to stay warm because our a/c is making the apartment feel like a refrigerator!

@Blueberrybook

Yeah. When I was put on Zoloft the first time it made me hypo, and it was only 25mg! So I got the BP 2 diagnosis in my mid/late twenties. I was put on Lamictal and Xanax and it made me feel SO much better! I got pregnant (surprise!!!) when I was 28 and had her when I was 29. I was on zoloft while I was pregnant to help with my anxiety (and situational depression) since I couldn't be on Xanax anymore, and I'd already tapered off Lamictal. I may have puked every day my entire pregnancy 🤢 but I was definitely happy! Lol.

I didn't breastfeed. I didn't like it. Soph didn't seem to like it, but she never had a problem with her formula and was never sick or threw up.

Plus, I didn't want to do it and felt pressured by everyone to do it. I was so pissed. I mean, nine months of morning sickness, squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of my crotch, a ravaged body.... and now THIS?! I hated everything about being a new mom!!! I don't care if that sounds bad! As a woman you have to go through EVERYTHING and all your man has to do is have an O inside of you!

Honestly, as far as I was concerned, EVERYONE ELSE could breastfeed if they wanted me to do it so much!!!

FUKK!

I'm getting all pissed thinking about it. Lol.

Anyway, yeah, I know I should take my full seroquel dose... it's just making me so FAT!!! UGH. I have the past two days because I couldn't fall asleep at night. I'm also still on 50mg of loxapine, and I was hoping that would be enough to keep the entities at bay.

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Default Today at 04:45 PM
  #926
Went to church this morning and cried a bit. Not a bad cry, just incredibly grateful for the life I am living today. Went to my mom and dad's after and they packed a bunch of food for me to take home, I love them so much. Was so bummed when my dad told me how lonely he is and how much he missed New York. It's all my fault they are here - if it wasn't for going to jail they never would have moved here. I feel like I uprooted their whole life. I feel so guilty and cried a bit on the way home.

But....

When I got home there was a note on my door from my probation officer. I am officially on Unsupervised Probation!! Which means basically OFF of probation but it is in name only until next year, I just can't get in any trouble, which I am obviously not- I have my freedom back, I have my life back, I can travel - no more visits, no more random drug tests - I can do whatever I want now!!

Still feel about my dad - I think I will get an ice cream cake for him next week - but life doesn't get any better than this. After all the pain and hurt from jail and my husband, I am finally putting all of this behind me.

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Blueberrybook
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Default Today at 05:12 PM
  #927
@LadyShadow

That is SO awesome you are off probation! What wonderful news! Couldnít happen to better person. You have really turned your life around!

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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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