Can't afford to screw up

happy early birthday to you and many more trips around the sun.

Can someone please tell me it's okay not to apply for a scholarship for art school. If I don't get the scholarship I don't go but with how jumbled my thoughts are I don't think I can do the commitment of 33 hours a week. On the other hand I've been waiting for this program to do this for over 6 years. I can't afford it any other way it doesn't start until mid September. But I have to do the application soon. If I don't go now they may not hold the program later. It's an at home course so it takes my agoraphobia into account.

Could you have your meds sent to your home and then have your husband mail them to you? No meds for so long seems risky.

I'm on my medication. I told my parents I can't deal with 2 TVs on and them yelling above them to talk. Now no TV's are on and my thoughts are still jumbled. I see pdoc on August 5th. I go back home at the end of the month.

That's a long visit! How come you're visiting so long since you get so stressed out about it?

I live 6 hours away with no car. My parents are retired and drive me there and back so I have to stay at least a month. Plus this time I'm training with my service dog and bringing her home. My mom's been training her for 2 years for me. She just passed her bone test to be mobility trained. So now I take her home and teach her tasks.

Sorry. I thought you said you were out and couldn't get more while out of state. I must have been thinking of someone else. I should have checked before I posted. My apologies.

@BeyondtheRainbow it's okay, I did have problems with my medication a couple of months ago. He'll probably up my AP.

I no longer have the option for quick reply and I miss it. So I'm going home a bit early. This is Artemis.

What a beautiful dog!

She is a lovely dog. I love goldens so much. When I was a kid we bred them and we always had one until a couple of years ago. I hope your training goes well.

Thank you both. I'm not a fan of long hair dogs but she's a good dog

brushing her hair could be a way to bond and she really likes it I presume. It could be beneficial for both of you!
bizi

So I found out the food she is on has chicken meal as the second ingredient. She's allergic to chicken. The dog food I was going to switch her to the vet said no because grain free is bad. So I spent most of the night looking at ingredients and the best dog food. I found one but it has to be shipped to me. She's going to be expensive.

I'm struggling taking my medicine. I'm taking it but it's a fight. I don't know how to get a therapist. I've been on the waiting list for over a year and a half now. I need someone who keeps track of what is going on with me. I feel like **** now that I didn't push for a med change. I don't want dinner but I have to have it to take my medicine. I don't want my medicine. I'm on the edge between being very sick and well and I can't handle it. I want to remove my tattoo but that would be messy and I'd have to explain and I'm not good at explaining myself right now. Words are hard. I can't keep smoking every night I don't have the money for that. The fear goes away when I smoke. I was supposed to call a friend yesterday but I can't hold a conversation. I hate when I have insite. Maybe I should have told him I don't want to eat dinner. I hate that I only see someone 1x a month. I'm not hallucinating but I keep thinking I see something out of the corner of my eye. I'm scared to take the dogs out because I don't want to run into homeless on my porch I know they won't hurt me but I don't want the jump scare of someone being there. I'm a mess and I look so put together. I wish I didn't mask so well.

So I'm scared to go outside because homeless sleep under our porch. We didn't have this problem last summer. Dad wants me to put up beware of dog signs but no one will listen to them. I'm trapped in my own house. I went to go to the vet today and got on the wrong bus. So we rescheduled till Monday. My meds weren't filled so I run out soon. I need to get out of here, run back to Florida but I can't. I can't find another place to live. I'm stuck and it's really getting to me. The bus is overcrowded, I never have peace unless I'm inside. Even then I struggle. Laundry needs to be done but we have to take the bus to the laundry mat. I need to find a safe place I can go out by myself. If my husband dies my only option is to move back in with my parents. Which would suck.