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Manarinorange
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Default Jun 26, 2024 at 02:04 AM
  #1
..........

...

.

Last edited by Manarinorange; Jun 26, 2024 at 02:29 AM..
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Default Jun 26, 2024 at 09:36 AM
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I thought I would introduce myself. I'm diagnosed with bp1, ptsd, panic disorder, and generalized disorder.

I have a 29 yr old son with schizophrenia that no longer lives with me. He did something to me 4 years ago and he can no longer live here. He was in a horrible group home and he started acting up there so they put him in the hospital and gave my sister and I names of places that would be a better place for him to live. He was doing excellent and then last weekend he came for a weekend visit and he freaked out. So we both decided that overnight visits aren't a good idea for now.

Right now I'm struggling really bad with anxiety. I told my therapist I want to try to really work on my anxiety using cbt. Just work my butt off learning it and applying it.

Right now I'm on a lot of meds to help with it. I would like to get off of some of them bc they're making my brain mush. I used to to be able read 5 books at a time, I could think fast and come up with comebacks really fast, win debates easily, be witty etc. I want that back.

So if any of you have anxiety tips I would love to hear them. I know grounding techniques, but not cbt well.

So that's what I'm dealing with. Nice to meet all of you! 😊
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Default Jun 26, 2024 at 06:32 PM
  #3
Nice to meet you @Manarinorange!

A CBT technique for anxiety that helps me is splashing cold water on my face.

Or better yet, hold a ziplock bag of ice cubes on your cheeks and forehead when anxiety is really high.

My T suggested tensing all of my muscles for a few seconds and then relaxing - that helped me too.

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Default Jun 26, 2024 at 09:20 PM
  #4
Welcome!

I just started seeing a therapist who uses a type of CBT called acceptance and commitment therapy. One strategy that she recently gave me that is helping me is, when anxious thoughts are filling my mind, to step back and say something along the lines of "I'm noticing" and then state what type of thought and/or emotions you have going on. I then tack on stating what the more realistic reality is.

For example, if I notice myself on a thought loop about a worst case scenario, I notice that I am doing this and then think of what one or two more realistic possibilities are. My "worst case scenarios" are usually pretty unrealistic so this strategy helps to reground me.

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Red face Jun 26, 2024 at 10:11 PM
  #5
welcome!
bizi

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Default Jun 27, 2024 at 01:47 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Scooter9 View Post
Nice to meet you @Manarinorange!

A CBT technique for anxiety that helps me is splashing cold water on my face.

Or better yet, hold a ziplock bag of ice cubes on your cheeks and forehead when anxiety is really high.

My T suggested tensing all of my muscles for a few seconds and then relaxing - that helped me too.
For some reason the splashing cold water on my face makes it worse.

I will try the ice cubes thing though and the tensing of my muscles and then relaxing them

Thank you for some tips. 😊
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Default Jun 27, 2024 at 02:01 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by June08 View Post
Welcome!

I just started seeing a therapist who uses a type of CBT called acceptance and commitment therapy. One strategy that she recently gave me that is helping me is, when anxious thoughts are filling my mind, to step back and say something along the lines of "I'm noticing" and then state what type of thought and/or emotions you have going on. I then tack on stating what the more realistic reality is.

For example, if I notice myself on a thought loop about a worst case scenario, I notice that I am doing this and then think of what one or two more realistic possibilities are. My "worst case scenarios" are usually pretty unrealistic so this strategy helps to reground me.
The problem with that for me is when I was taken off lorazapam, when they had completely been out of my system, I starting having what's called rolling panic attacks. It's where you have a panic attack, it will feel like it's stopping, but then another one comes.. that would last for 4-5 hours. It was the worst thing I've ever been through. It lasted 9 months. I got a new psychiatrist that eventually put me on a whole bunch of sedating meds, but not a benzo. I eventually went into a mixed state and couldn't sleep. I was taking 30 mgs of Zyprexa nd still not sleeping. It's a really long story but I ended up going to the hospital. But t
he psychiatrist I have now has had to add more meds for the anxiety.

Sorry I rambled but the worse case scenario is if I get some really good techniques for dealing with my anxiety. The worst case scenario is the 4-5 hour long panic attacks. So I don't know how to reconcile that. Do you have any ideas?
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Default Jun 27, 2024 at 10:47 PM
  #8
I'm sorry you experience rolling panic attacks-that must be really tough.

You didn't ramble at all! Sadly, I don't have other ideas at the moment. My anxiety has never gotten to the point where I have a panic attack and I'm just learning how to manage anxiety with CBT techniques. Most of my counseling work before this has been trauma work.

I feel your pain about not knowing how to reconcile things though-mental health sure is tough to treat sometimes...

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Default Jun 27, 2024 at 11:45 PM
  #9
Do you have GAD or just panic disorder?

I rarely get panic attacks, but something that REALLY helped my GAD many, many, MANY years ago (back in my early twenties) was writing STOP on a notecard, taping it in a visible spot at work, and glancing at it whenever an anxious thought popped into my head so I could stop the thought. I think I wrote STOP on my hand too for when I wasn't in my work space. It sounds stupid, yes, but it cured me of my anxious thoughts! I don't really have them anymore, and it's almost twenty years later.

Now I just get anxious for no reason sadly and the only thing that helps it are meds unfortunately. For me it's diazepam, seroquel, propranolol and gabapentin. I have severe anxiety, but for me it manifests as a feeling of dread, doom, dark, overhanging cloud that shadows EVERYTHING, a feeling as though I'm about to give a speech in front of a billion people, diarrhea, stomach upset, headaches, chest pains and fast heart beat, especially when I'm laying down. And all FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I HAVE NOTHING TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT!!!!!! I hate it!

Good for you for getting off lorazepam, though I'm sorry to hear about your panic attacks. I hope to one day be free of diazepam, but when I asked my psychiatrist if he would take me off it he said no because he said I needed it (and now he's LEAVING! 😭 And my new psychiatrist will probably take me off it cold turkey and it'll be a NIGHTMARE). What meds are you on for your anxiety, if I may ask? I know hydroxyzine works for some people. Or buspar. Neither did for me however.

I do deep breathing. That's about the only CBT skill that helps me. And I go for walks, but I always listen to music. "Staying in the moment" doesn't really help when you're crawling out of your skin with anxiety. I did DBT for a while, but that didn't really help me either. I mean, I don't know, when you're having bad anxiety shyts how is dunking your face in ice water or taking a cold shower or staying in your anxiety shyt moment supposed to help you?!

Oh, and welcome. We're all very nice here!

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Default Jun 29, 2024 at 02:04 AM
  #10
Welcome!


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Default Jun 29, 2024 at 02:09 AM
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Originally Posted by raspberrytorte View Post
Do you have GAD or just panic disorder?

I rarely get panic attacks, but something that REALLY helped my GAD many, many, MANY years ago (back in my early twenties) was writing STOP on a notecard, taping it in a visible spot at work, and glancing at it whenever an anxious thought popped into my head so I could stop the thought. I think I wrote STOP on my hand too for when I wasn't in my work space. It sounds stupid, yes, but it cured me of my anxious thoughts! I don't really have them anymore, and it's almost twenty years later.

Now I just get anxious for no reason sadly and the only thing that helps it are meds unfortunately. For me it's diazepam, seroquel, propranolol and gabapentin. I have severe anxiety, but for me it manifests as a feeling of dread, doom, dark, overhanging cloud that shadows EVERYTHING, a feeling as though I'm about to give a speech in front of a billion people, diarrhea, stomach upset, headaches, chest pains and fast heart beat, especially when I'm laying down. And all FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I HAVE NOTHING TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT!!!!!! I hate it!

Good for you for getting off lorazepam, though I'm sorry to hear about your panic attacks. I hope to one day be free of diazepam, but when I asked my psychiatrist if he would take me off it he said no because he said I needed it (and now he's LEAVING! 😭 And my new psychiatrist will probably take me off it cold turkey and it'll be a NIGHTMARE). What meds are you on for your anxiety, if I may ask? I know hydroxyzine works for some people. Or buspar. Neither did for me however.

I do deep breathing. That's about the only CBT skill that helps me. And I go for walks, but I always listen to music. "Staying in the moment" doesn't really help when you're crawling out of your skin with anxiety. I did DBT for a while, but that didn't really help me either. I mean, I don't know, when you're having bad anxiety shyts how is dunking your face in ice water or taking a cold shower or staying in your anxiety shyt moment supposed to help you?!

Oh, and welcome. We're all very nice here!
I no longer have those 4-5 hour long panic attacks. I stopped having them it's a really long story how. Mainly sedating meds, no benzos. That helped for about a year. I didn't realize it at the time but I ended up in a year long mixed episode that eventually caused me to not sleep. Even with a ton of sedating meds including 30 mgs of Zyprexa I still couldn't sleep. So I had just gotten a new psych nurse and she was useless. She ended up leaving and the new psychiatrist I got gave me ambien. I ended up having a 24 hour long panic attack, I'm not kidding. Bc ambien is in the same family as benzos i had rebound anxiety. I called him and he said I'll put you on depakote or you can go to the hospital. I went to the hospital. I'm now on, klonipin, a ton of gabapentin, Propranolol, . They are making my brain mush. I used to be very intelligent and now can't think off the top of my head when I hear an idea etc. So my goal is to work my but off to get off of some of these meds. I can't really come off gabapentin though bc I have a lot of back pain so I medically need it. I could ask for Lyrica but I think they won't give me it.

My anxiety presents itself like yours does every day. around 7pm. I take my night meds at 9pm. I don't want to add anymore meds. I'm going to try and drink some teas that I looked up that can help with increasing my gamma. I'm also going to try eating healthier but I don't like chicken. The only meat products I like are pork and beef. I am eating more fruit. But dang that gabapentin really increases my appetite after I take my night meds.

The only time I feel like my old self is after I take my night meds. My days are filled with the anxiety you described some days. If my son is constantly calling me in a crisis imy anxiety shoots up really high. But this anxiety has made my life very small. Im afraid to drive so i barely leave the house, ive gained a lot of weight from thesepsych meds. Its just been awful. Even showering is hard for me bc i was sometimes having those 4-5 hour long panic attacks in the shower. So i associate showering with them. If my son isnt in a crisis the awful anxiety doesnt start until 7pm bc i take my night meds at 9pm. . So i only have to deal with it for 3 hours bc it takes about 1 hour for my meds to completely kick in. This whoe puting me on a benzo in the first place, I didn't want to be put on it. I had a psychotic break in 2011 and I was afraid of antipsychotics so she said I'm putting you on lorazapam bc you are so afraid of these meds. She said if I don't comply with it she would no longer see me. I was brand new to psychiatry so I complied. Then the psych nurse that took me off lorazapam promised me she wouldn't take me off of it and 2 years later she took me off of it. Benzos have ruined my life! I researched it and if you've been taken off a benzo and then put back on one, they don't help like when you were first put on one.

I'm on medicaid so where I go for my psych issues, there is a really high turnover. Ppl just work there until they get enough experience and then go somewhere else where they can make more money.

But in conclusion my life absolutely sucks and to add to my anxiety I have a 28 yr old son with schizophrenia and there's a whole long story with that.

Last edited by Manarinorange; Jun 29, 2024 at 02:47 AM..
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Default Jun 29, 2024 at 04:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Manarinorange View Post
I no longer have those 4-5 hour long panic attacks. I stopped having them it's a really long story how. Mainly sedating meds, no benzos. That helped for about a year. I didn't realize it at the time but I ended up in a year long mixed episode that eventually caused me to not sleep. Even with a ton of sedating meds including 30 mgs of Zyprexa I still couldn't sleep. So I had just gotten a new psych nurse and she was useless. She ended up leaving and the new psychiatrist I got gave me ambien. I ended up having a 24 hour long panic attack, I'm not kidding. Bc ambien is in the same family as benzos i had rebound anxiety. I called him and he said I'll put you on depakote or you can go to the hospital. I went to the hospital. I'm now on, klonipin, a ton of gabapentin, Propranolol, . They are making my brain mush. I used to be very intelligent and now can't think off the top of my head when I hear an idea etc. So my goal is to work my but off to get off of some of these meds. I can't really come off gabapentin though bc I have a lot of back pain so I medically need it. I could ask for Lyrica but I think they won't give me it.

My anxiety presents itself like yours does every day. around 7pm. I take my night meds at 9pm. I don't want to add anymore meds. I'm going to try and drink some teas that I looked up that can help with increasing my gamma. I'm also going to try eating healthier but I don't like chicken. The only meat products I like are pork and beef. I am eating more fruit. But dang that gabapentin really increases my appetite after I take my night meds.

The only time I feel like my old self is after I take my night meds. My days are filled with the anxiety you described some days. If my son is constantly calling me in a crisis imy anxiety shoots up really high. But this anxiety has made my life very small. Im afraid to drive so i barely leave the house, ive gained a lot of weight from thesepsych meds. Its just been awful. Even showering is hard for me bc i was sometimes having those 4-5 hour long panic attacks in the shower. So i associate showering with them. If my son isnt in a crisis the awful anxiety doesnt start until 7pm bc i take my night meds at 9pm. . So i only have to deal with it for 3 hours bc it takes about 1 hour for my meds to completely kick in. This whoe puting me on a benzo in the first place, I didn't want to be put on it. I had a psychotic break in 2011 and I was afraid of antipsychotics so she said I'm putting you on lorazapam bc you are so afraid of these meds. She said if I don't comply with it she would no longer see me. I was brand new to psychiatry so I complied. Then the psych nurse that took me off lorazapam promised me she wouldn't take me off of it and 2 years later she took me off of it. Benzos have ruined my life! I researched it and if you've been taken off a benzo and then put back on one, they don't help like when you were first put on one.

I'm on medicaid so where I go for my psych issues, there is a really high turnover. Ppl just work there until they get enough experience and then go somewhere else where they can make more money.

But in conclusion my life absolutely sucks and to add to my anxiety I have a 28 yr old son with schizophrenia and there's a whole long story with that.
Yeah. I'm on a shyt ton of gabby too. 3200mg (800mg 4x a day) but when my psychiatrist tried reducing the dose I had TERRIBLE anxiety, so I'm kind of stuck on it I guess. I don't mind though. It hasn't turned me into a moron. At one point in my life I was on 4mg of clonazepam and got a psychiatrist who took me off it in two months. It was one of the worst experiences of my life!!! I cried TWICE during the withdrawal. I'm currently on 30mg of diazepam, scheduled, so I'm really not looking forward to ANOTHER nightmare benzo withdrawal!

Benzos are evil. I'm pissed I allowed myself to even be put on one again to begin with.

I'm sorry to hear about your awful anxiety. I hate anxiety. I'd rather have depression than anxiety! Anxiety ruins your life in so many ways. I'm also afraid of driving. I don't drive anymore, except to the store and the gas station. And I've never been able to drive on the highway. Have you ever tried seroquel for your awful anxiety? It really works wonders! Sadly it causes weight gain though, so I'm just a little fat.

I'm sorry to hear about your son. That has to be very hard. I have a 12 year old daughter with anxiety/panic disorder and mild depression and it makes me feel so bad. Just the other night we were BOTH badly anxious at the same time and having anxiety shyts and I took us on a walk thinking it would maybe help us, but it just made us feel worse!!! Ugh! Stupid anxiety! I wish she didn't inherit it from Husband and I. Makes me feel so bad.

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Unhappy Jul 01, 2024 at 04:36 AM
  #13
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Yeah. I'm on a shyt ton of gabby too. 3200mg (800mg 4x a day) but when my psychiatrist tried reducing the dose I had TERRIBLE anxiety, so I'm kind of stuck on it I guess. I don't mind though. It hasn't turned me into a moron. At one point in my life I was on 4mg of clonazepam and got a psychiatrist who took me off it in two months. It was one of the worst experiences of my life!!! I cried TWICE during the withdrawal. I'm currently on 30mg of diazepam, scheduled, so I'm really not looking forward to ANOTHER nightmare benzo withdrawal!

Benzos are evil. I'm pissed I allowed myself to even be put on one again to begin with.

I'm sorry to hear about your awful anxiety. I hate anxiety. I'd rather have depression than anxiety! Anxiety ruins your life in so many ways. I'm also afraid of driving. I don't drive anymore, except to the store and the gas station. And I've never been able to drive on the highway. Have you ever tried seroquel for your awful anxiety? It really works wonders! Sadly it causes weight gain though, so I'm just a little fat.

I'm sorry to hear about your son. That has to be very hard. I have a 12 year old daughter with anxiety/panic disorder and mild depression and it makes me feel so bad. Just the other night we were BOTH badly anxious at the same time and having anxiety shyts and I took us on a walk thinking it would maybe help us, but it just made us feel worse!!! Ugh! Stupid anxiety! I wish she didn't inherit it from Husband and I. Makes me feel so bad.
I would love to use seroquel for my issues, but I I gained 40 lbs on it in 6 six months. I do take 50 mgs to sleep. I take a lot of meds for sleep. I forgot to take my 2 mgs of klonipin Friday night and Saturday I was trembling, sweating and very anxious. It wasn't until Saturday night that I figured it out. So I've decided I'm going to work my butt of learning cbt but not come off any meds. Just get better at dealing with my anxiety right now. I might also get a workbook.

Possible trigger:

Last edited by Manarinorange; Jul 01, 2024 at 04:56 AM..
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Unhappy Jul 02, 2024 at 09:16 PM
  #14
oh I am sorry for your sons behavior.
you must have been scared ****to have a chair thrown at you.
you can blocks his calls or tell him to text you instead that will slow done his behavior if you tell him that you wont take his calls but will text.
any way I think you get my drift.
Tough love.
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Default Jul 02, 2024 at 10:04 PM
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I thought I said Welcome but I see now that I didn't, so Welcome!

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Default Jul 04, 2024 at 04:24 AM
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oh I am sorry for your sons behavior.
you must have been scared ****to have a chair thrown at you.
you can blocks his calls or tell him to text you instead that will slow done his behavior if you tell him that you wont take his calls but will text.
any way I think you get my drift.
Tough love.
bizi
Yes it's been extremely difficult since he started having delusions.

Possible trigger:


But he is my son with a very difficult mental illness. He's doing better and is going on outings with them. It was complete he'll watching all the delusions and him hearing derogatory voices. I talked to him tonight and hopefully they go somewhere to see the fireworks. I love him and want to see him happy.
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Default Jul 04, 2024 at 04:28 AM
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I thought I said Welcome but I see now that I didn't, so Welcome!
Thank you!
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Unhappy Jul 05, 2024 at 08:43 PM
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Yes it's been extremely difficult since he started having delusions.

Possible trigger:


But he is my son with a very difficult mental illness. He's doing better and is going on outings with them. It was complete he'll watching all the delusions and him hearing derogatory voices. I talked to him tonight and hopefully they go somewhere to see the fireworks. I love him and want to see him happy.

I feel so bad for you.I can't believe that he threw furniture at you. I hope he is on medication. Does he apologize to you once he is stable?

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Default Jul 06, 2024 at 02:26 AM
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I feel so bad for you.I can't believe that he threw furniture at you. I hope he is on medication. Does he apologize to you once he is stable?
Have you read this whole thread? He does not live with me bc I know he will eventually start smoking weed again and then start not taking his meds. Yes he is taking his meds at the place where he is. Yes he apologizes. He gets really violent when he's hearing derogatory voices or when he's in a delusion. He has schizophrenia. It's a very difficult situation. But he can't do overnight visits for now. He visited today and got I got him panda express and gave him 20 dollars. He doesn't want to be violent. But with his kind of schizophrenia he gets that way.
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Default Jul 06, 2024 at 01:58 PM
  #20
yes I have been trying to keep up with your thread, I thought I read that he threw a chair and then a table and then hit your head with a hammer while you were sleeping. How God awful. I am glad he is living in a group home where he can learn how to better handle his anger hopefully. I feel sorry for you and him.
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My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.