Bipolar Check-in #81

@Moose72

I am the same way with gasing up the car. I am so afraid of running out of gas that I almost never let it get below half a tank. When H drives the car and returns it with a quarter tank, my first stop next time I drive the car is to gas it up. Heck, some days I don't even wait until I have an errand, I just go to the gas station, fill up & come back home, though when I do that early in the morning, I tend to make an out-of-the way stop at Starbucks I haven't been great about spending this past month either, but the past couple of days I haven't spent anything. And I did really well at decreasing my Starbucks runs; only had Starbucks once all July!

Today I've been really lazy. Been binge-watching Bosch on Amazon Prime. I've read a lot of the books in the series & am re-reading them now and plan to read the books I haven't read yet. I did read a little today, but for some reason, I've been glued to the TV. I haven't binge-watched a show in a LONG time, probably not since I binge-watched all of Criminal Minds on Hulu which was a year ago, or maybe 2 yrs. ago.

At least I'm more mellow today than I was yesterday, no more racing thoughts, which I really hate b/c one thought won't even finish before the next comes crashing in, and the next, and the next, etc.

Me too! I don’t like my tank to be less than 1/2 empty. Plus it’s not good for the car for the tank to go low. But especially in the winter I’m looking for warmish sunny days to fill it so even if it’s only 3/4 full I’m taking advantage of those days to fill it. Never know when we’ll be hit with a long cold spell. I rue the day when self serve became a thing. I loved being able to sit in a warm car and let the gas station person fill it up for me, and check the oil and washer fluid. As for Starbucks, we don’t have one here except inside the Mayo Clinic. Parking is horrible there, so nobody goes just for coffee. There’s other places but I just get my chai latte at the grocery stores and make them at home. All I need to do is add my soy milk. I’m pretty good at not spending money. But I was Christmas shopping earlier today. Didn’t buy anything yet, but I started looking.

I’ve been watching loony tunes on a me tv off shoot channel. I’m mostly on my iPad so something on tv that doesn’t take a lot of concentration is good. Plus they have a lot of the older cartoons, I love the art on them. They have Betty boop on now!

I just got back from the movie theater from seeing Deadpool and Wolverine. It was awesome! I loved it. Can’t wait till it comes out digitally so I can buy it and watch it again. It wasn’t as weird as I thought it’d be going to the movie theater by myself. It was a little anxiety inducing at first but it wasn’t crowded at all and I enjoyed it. I have plans to see the new beetlejuice in theater in October and the new Lord of the rings movie in theater in December 😀

There’s anew lord of the rings movie??? Yay!

@Blueberrybook, I didn't know Klonopin affects memory. Yeah, I guess you're right, there's a lot going on

Yup! The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim, comes out December 13th this year I’m excited to see it. Love the lord of the rings

I do too as does my daughter. I got the long edition of LOTR and sat though hours of extended takes and extras. Oh, so good. I read the books way back in the 70’s but I’m glad nobody else tried to do LOTR until Peter Jackson. He did it well. Who’s directing this one?

I have a therapy appointment tomorrow morning. Other than that gonna do my household essentials shopping tomorrow. Doing it online so it’s less trips to the store. Friday I’m doing my grocery shopping. Sunday I have a volunteer shift with the rescue cats. That’s what the rest of my week looks like basically. Also throw in exercising, cleaning, meal planning, laundry, and practicing violin and ukulele.

Tonight I’m just relaxing and watching the show The Boys, maybe reading some too. And listening to music. Playing with my two cats. Just a relaxing evening. Hoping to get better sleep tonight. I only got like 5 1/2 hours. I function better close to 9 or 10 hours. That sounds excessive but it’s just the amount of sleep I feel my best on, just the way my body is and taking into consideration my meds.

But I got everything I needed to get done today done so yay! I am in a good mood

Looks like the director is named Kenji Kamiyama, I’m not familiar with him but hopefully it’s good

I think it might be an animated film I’m not 100% sure though

I started Christmas shopping too yesterday, I thought I was crazy for starting to look this early, well not really shopping but making a list of ideas on Amazon or of things I plan on getting family and friends and my boyfriend. I think I picked out good stuff. Now I don’t have to worry about it again just have to buy the stuff in December.

I like starting shopping early for that reason plus by starting now I spread the spending out over a couple months. Yay to us for starting early!

Mocha hanging out in his chair

I like to start early too but as my nieces get older it is a lot harder to shop ahead for them because their interests change so much over time. My sister and BIL seem more challenging than they used to be too. I can shop for my mom though. I really should do that.

Blue_Bird, you are so good at keeping yourself busy. I really admire that.

That was me when I first started working. I was 25 and looked about 16. I had a patient who had dementia and was also a character. I needed to evaluate her for something but she just looked at me and said "You are 12 and you may NOT tell me what to do!". I had to get my assistant to come with me and I'd tell him what I needed, he'd ask her to do it, I'd write it down and we'd move to the next step. So funny.

Another crazy day in Raleigh today. Went and taught my class, (which was so good, I have to keep going more often) stopped by my old rehab to visit and participate in a meeting, (the girls were so hopeful, I am so proud one of them is finally finishing the program), met my friend for lunch, then met my sponsor out at a cafe to discuss the new girl I am sponsoring and my 9th step. THEN I drove an hour all the way home. I am officially pooped ya'll, lol.

But @Blue_Bird I am so proud of you for going to see the new Deadpool movie by yourself! I honestly used to go alone all the time in New York. In 2009, I went to see the Star Trek reboot ten zillion times because it was a $5 matinee at the time, oooh and I loved me some Chris Pine!! *Swoon* lol. You have officially inspired me to go see the new Deadpool movie at my local theater on Friday after I chair my AA meeting. I don't have anything to do that afternoon so it will be a real treat. My local theater is really small so I don't think I can buy the tickets in advance, but it shouldn't be too crowded considering it's been out for a week already.

Good news also is the mysterious "woman time" miraculously came - I thought I missed it, I know it comes at the end of the month, but exactly July 31st? I know I am pretty organized and a stickler for being on time for things, but damn, so is my body? I am relieved because it gives me some explanation for all my random bursts of anger. It's interesting because I never suffered with that in the past, it just seems to be rearing it's ugly head now that I have reached my mid-40s.

Anyway, I hope everyone had an amazing day today. (I love Lord of the Rings too, so much! It's going to be an animated film in December with Miranda Otto in it! (she played Eowyn in Two Towers & ROTK)

How cute! I love boy cats! I have Jayden. He's solid black with some greys coming in. He's almost 11. I've had Ricky, Midnight and Tiger. I find most boy cats to be lover boys.

I'm doing good. My son keeps asking me for things so I had to block him again. We are having a conference call with me, a therapist there, my sister, and my son tomorrow. We are discussing the asking for things.

We don't know how much my son is getting. I talked to the guy there and he said we don't know how much he is getting and that my son had to ask his payee. He may be very disappointed.

Saw my pdoc today She says its unlikely meds will ever take away all my psychosis symptoms. She said im gonna have to heal and deal from my stress right now and comeback in a month.
feeling like a failure compassionately withdrawing from my class has hurt my ego. the the same time my tummy finally stopped acting up from stress.
idk how i feel today.