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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,046
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,406 hugs
given |
#401
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Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,046
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,406 hugs
given |
#402
My life is so boring and has no meaning. I need to figure something out but I don't know what. Theres nothing I want to do. Nothing I need to do besides get this heath stuff under control. Most of the time I'm just a living sack of bones.
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Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,046
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,406 hugs
given |
#403
I'm really bored and frustrated today. I've tried just sleeping but I only got in an hour nap during the morning and an hour or so nap during the afternoon. My stomach is off and on but I feel mostly ok. I'm not in the medical crisis I was in before. I'm guessing its from switching back to the pantropaloze. I feel just blah. I need to do something with my life.
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Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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Insert Smiley Face
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,997
9 7,417 hugs
given |
#404
I've really been enjoying my time lately with Daughter. 😊 I feel like we're getting closer the older she gets and that we're bonding more. When she was little she was all about Daddy and now she's all about Momma. Even Husband commented on it. I think it's because she's entering her teenage years so she can relate more with me or something. I wasn't fond of the baby, toddler, or little girl years, but love it now that she's getting older, is more self-sufficient and we can have more adult conversations. It's great! Things are also going great with Husband of course. 😉
Daughter turns 13 in October and is starting 7th grade and middle school in the fall. It makes me feel all emotional thinking about how she's no longer going to be in elementary school. I'm happy Husbsnd has off of work that day because I'm probably going to start bawling after we drop her off! I've gotten serious about quitting vaping. Haven't actually bought an ecig in going on, let me think, it has to be at least two and a half weeks. It hasn't gotten too horrible yet because I had a huge stash of ecigs that still had a bit of vape left in them, but I'm down to my last two, so things are going to be getting dicey shortly. I just keep on reminding myself of the REWARDS. Saving up for tattoos, buying merch, etc. I'll be money bags! __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "I'm scared. I'm old. I want to go home!" 😁 - anonymous |
Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, Manarinorange, Mountaindewed, Nammu
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Blueberrybook, LadyShadow, Manarinorange
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,622
6 247 hugs
given |
#405
Quote:
My daughter is going into 11th grade this year! She'll be graduating soon. I don't know how I'll handle it when that time comes I remember thinking when daughter was a few months old that I didn't know how in the world I would make it taking care of her for 18 years, it seemed such a long time, but it's really just over in a flash especially once a child starts school. It's fantastic to hear that you've gotten serious about quitting vaping. That is great for your health. I think it's awesome you have given yourself the added incentive of rewarding yourself for not vaping. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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bizi, LadyShadow, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 25,678
(SuperPoster!)
12 13.2k hugs
given |
#406
Things have been progressing today well workwise - still on the fence about scheduling interviews for Thursday because I am still tracking this hurricane. I don't want to schedule interviews for then if this storm hits because who the heck is going to show up? And I sure as heck am not driving an hour in it either!
My doctor called and is increasing my thyroid medicine twice this month. She is sending two weeks' worth of one dose and increasing the other two weeks, then in four weeks I am going in for another blood test. I told her the scale is just NOT moving and she says she expected that and not to be discouraged, things should improve once my thyroid levels even out. I guess it's been so frustrating and hopeless and I've just beating myself up so much about it. I wish I had a daughter like you ladies, but I guess that wasn't in the cards for me. My boyfriend has a 15-year-old daughter, so it will be interesting in how I would relate to her or if she would even like me. So proud of you @raspberrytorte for giving up the vaping - it's a miracle I never picked up smoking, I know how addicting it can be. __________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
bizi, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, Manarinorange, Mountaindewed, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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bizi, Manarinorange, raspberrytorte
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,305
(SuperPoster!)
14 55.8k hugs
given |
#407
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
bizi, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,026
(SuperPoster!)
12 5,525 hugs
given |
#408
So I went to the pdoc. I told him my month was hell but it's getting better being home. He wants to wait a month to change my meds. I didn't tell him I have sh thoughts because they're getting better. I still feel confused. If things don't improve we will change my AP. I'm not happy about that but I can't keep going down hill. I realized I was sick before 13. Which makes me look back on my life with grace. H says no matter how nice my parents were it doesn't stop the programming from years ago. I'm trying to let go. My parents have grown into great people but years of being not so great took a toll on me. I never want Victoria to feel like I felt this past month.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
bizi, Crazy Hitch, June08, LadyShadow, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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Member
Member Since Sep 2022
Location: USA
Posts: 236
1 1,242 hugs
given |
#409
I'm still waiting to hear exactly what my car all needs done. Bare minimum, it's looking like a new battery and a new water pump. The mechanic said he'll call me in the morning with specific numbers/what my car needs exactly.
For some reason, one of my coworkers brought in two labradoodles today! They were super friendly and adorable. They randomly came into my classroom at one point to say hi and look around. I'm grateful my bipolar symptoms haven't been acting up with the stress of my car not starting and not hearing from my PCP doctor even though I sent two messages in the last week and a half (I'll have to call her office tomorrow). Hopefully, things will continue to remain stable when I learn how much the car repairs will be. __________________ Lamotrigine: 300 mg Bupropion: 150 mg Risperidone: 3 mg |
bizi, Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, Manarinorange, Mountaindewed, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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Manarinorange
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ɘvlovƎ
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 18,768
(SuperPoster!)
10 13.6k hugs
given |
#410
I'm just a little less than okay. Mood is okay. Anxiety is not okay.
Went and got my nails done this weekend. It's like a bright pink or something. Self care is important. Managed to straighten my hair properly this weekend (I usually do a rush job) and to my suprise it is still straight today. Small win. Had to fetch my son early from school yesterday because he was sick. Meant I missed one of my not so nice classes. So there's that. I started the day off with my worst class this morning. Always good to get it out the way. Staff meeting tonight until 4:30. About our whole school improvement instructional model. Hopefully it's bite sized bits of information. I don't want brain overload on our first staff meeting for the term. |
bizi, June08, LadyShadow, Manarinorange, Mountaindewed, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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Manarinorange
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,462
19 2,777 hugs
given |
#411
im feeling less apathetic and more motivated to do my job and school. im working on my practicum orientation lately. its alot. i get 16 hours of prac. time for it though so thats nice.
__________________ schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety celexa, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
bizi, Crazy Hitch, June08, LadyShadow, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,491
(SuperPoster!)
9 10.7k hugs
given |
#412
Tomorrow is my last therapy session with my therapist for 7 weeks. I keep telling myself it's not that long, I'll be fine with the sub therapist and if I don't like her I can change to someone else or power through on my own with my pdoc's support via email. It will be the end of Sept/early October when he's back. That's something to look forward to, this hot, hot summer will be starting to wind down and fall will be on its' way.
I'm just scared how the session will go. I don't know how to say goodbye for so long. 7 weeks....just 7 weeks. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
bizi, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, LadyShadow, Manarinorange, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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Manarinorange
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,046
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,406 hugs
given |
#413
I feel blah still. I didn't get out of bed all day. I have therapy at 10 tommorow. Its just gonna be the same "you haven't been feeling good so you haven't been able to do much." But I mean, I'm still depressed. Idk if the increase in lamictal should be working or not. Its been a week. My dreams have been crazy which I know is a side effect. Again, I just feel like I'm existing not living.
Maybe I should just really push myself to get out of the house for a bit. Pushing myself hasn't been working lately, but maybe I should just try harder Last edited by Mountaindewed; Aug 05, 2024 at 11:09 PM.. |
Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, raspberrytorte
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 25,678
(SuperPoster!)
12 13.2k hugs
given |
#414
Losing a day of work on Thursday because I won't drive into Raleigh because of the weather forecasts on Hurricane Debby. Going to try and work from home for the next three days to make up for it, (hopefully I won't lose power through this, I would be really scared). Just nervous, anxious - I have always loved living alone and having my independence, but when storms like this come, I get very scared and nervous. I know my neighbors, but I don't know how confident I am knocking on one of their doors if I am really scared, I just don't know.
Just praying and staying calm. Maybe I should drive to my parent's house Wednesday night, I just don't know - or maybe just brave it myself. I don't like dealing with these kinds of feelings, in the past, right now would have been a good opportunity to spend the night drinking. I am scared. __________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, Manarinorange, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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Manarinorange
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,305
(SuperPoster!)
14 55.8k hugs
given |
#415
Quote:
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2011
Posts: 746
12 2,549 hugs
given |
#416
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Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, Nammu
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Member
Member Since Jun 2024
Location: Washington
Posts: 158
234 hugs
given |
#417
I've had a good day. My wound is gone again and I think I've figured out why my wounds were coming back. I quit using tubi grips. They're these tight tube stocking you put on underneath your velcro wraps.
They help me more than the velcro wraps. They are tighter. It's hard to get the velcro compression wraps from falling so you're constantly having to re grape them. So I'm going to moisturize the crap out of where my wound was, it itches like crazy! And wear tubi grips. You also can't dry them, which is sort of a pain. Haven't heard from my son today. I hope he's doing well. I'm going to talk about food. So trigger warning.
Possible trigger:
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Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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Member
Member Since Feb 2023
Location: Ontario; long-time member, just under other names
Posts: 456
1 3,202 hugs
given |
#418
@Mountaindewed:
Sorry to hear you're feeling at loose ends. I struggle with that too. Not having a career is tough. I found some solace in competitive Scrabble and being active with my support group, but it's still always bothered me. I guess people also find meaning in having families of their own, tho i never wanted that for myself. It's gotten easier as i've gotten older. I'll be 58 this month. Even if i was able to work, i might have retired by now. Some people find meaning in volunteering but i've tried eight assignments and only one worked out and that was in a different city. I'm bored and frustrated too. I like so few things i find myself repeating them over and over. I've watched (listened to while dozing) "Ozark" about ten times. The same with comedy specials. I reread old favorite books. Just wanted to chime in and let you know you're not alone. Hopefully you'll be more successful than me in finding meaning and purpose in life. Best of luck! |
Crazy Hitch, June08, LadyShadow, Mountaindewed, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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LadyShadow, Mountaindewed, raspberrytorte
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,832
(SuperPoster!)
16 2,612 hugs
given |
#419
It’s after3:30 am and I can’t stop thinking about my therapy session from last afternoon. I left there totally confused and angry- none of which I told my new T even after she asked if there was anything I didn’t like about our session. The stuff we talked about is very serious! And if I’m an adult child of an alcoholic and not bp … nearly 20 yeas of meds and side effects. What’s my Pdoc goin to say? I have bipolar symptoms! Have for almost my whole life except childhood. I couldn’t even be off bp meds for a month without symptoms coming flooding back!
__________________ Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 1.5 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
Crazy Hitch, June08, LadyShadow, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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ɘvlovƎ
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 18,768
(SuperPoster!)
10 13.6k hugs
given |
#420
7 weeks vape free but still addicted to the nicotine gum.
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JaneOnceMore, June08, LadyShadow, Mountaindewed, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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