Bipolar Check-in #81

therapy was a **** show. he was upset im not taking my mania seriously and said i have no business working right now. insisted i go to pscyh immediate care. i did. she upped my risperdal and told me to take zyprexaat nightt o get under control..

@Rosi700 and @LadyShadow I'm sorry you have both been feeling depressed in the mornings. I've also been struggling with this. Maybe, because of the passing of my friend's mom who I looked up to? I'm not really sure.

@JaneOnceMore Happy Birthday!

Outside of some morning depression, and feeling overwhelmed somewhat easily, my mood continues to be okay. I tend to wake up feeling down and then feel pretty good in the afternoon/evening. I find myself not wanting to go to bed because I don't want to deal with the morning depression. I'm also always worried about how my physical health will be when I get up.

I was able to get some physical activity in two days in a row for the first time in forever though so that was nice! I used to get in a walk most days of the week (when it wasn't a million degrees outside that is). Oh, and my homeroom really came out of their shells today. It was fun to see them laughing, talking, and smiling together (they are normally more quite).

Happy Birthday, @JaneOnceMore!

Grief often feels like depression! Let it be there. It will become better with time.

Yes, you are right! I woke up in the middle of the night because I needed to go to the bathroom. I always turn the alarm off in such situations. This night, I forgot to put it on again when I entered my bed. I overslept for two hours and I feel like I only want to go to sleep again. My thoughts have been in the deep dark.

Some hours later, I have been able to tell myself that it is OK to not being able to do everything. I have reacted as if feeling depressed is some sort of laziness (and have used a lot of self-blaming thoughts).


Now, when I at last have accepted that depression is depression and not laziness, I feel a bit more calm.

Thank you for reminding me about not planning more than there is capacity for!

Well I slept six hours but now I’m
All wide awake again at 6am lol

Feeling a little calmer. The doc at psych immediate
Care wantede to postpone my trip
But I’m
Going with my cousin and she’ll loook after me

Here I come st louis!!!!!

I don't know what to do, pushing or accept, perhaps finding a middle way!

@JaneOnceMore, Happy Birthday!

Congrats on another trip around the sun @JaneOnceMore

Hey there @MuddyBoots - how you feeling today? Still worried about you - I totally know about the connecting dots and the numbers; I used to literally send number transmissions to NASA's website because I was thought I was being contacted. It was a really big rollercoaster back then.

Happy, Happy belated birthday @JaneOnceMore !! I hope you enjoyed it - sorry that I was late lol

Just keep on pushing through and keep up with your routines @Rosi700 - I know you can do it! So sorry to hear about your loss again @June08 I know how that can push us into depression, I am glad that you've managed to at least get out for your morning walk!

The weather has been so NICE!! It feels like Fall outside y'all, it was only 60 degrees this morning, I had the windows down all the way to work with the music blasting it felt so good. As a native New Yorker, this is the perfect weather for me.

I have a pdoc appointment Monday to let her know how I have been doing without the Lithium, but I have decided to push through all of it. I am so grateful to be off such heavy medication, I am going to fight through the ups and downs till I my body adjusts. I think being an alcoholic and bipolar, I have never felt what it was like to be without some kind of chemical in me, that my body just doesn't know how to be. But I am feeling really good today - made it into Raleigh and making it through another work shift.

Hope everyone is having a great Thursday!!

So I finally answered that number that kept calling that was coming from that debt collector. They were asking for a John. My name is not John. No one in house is named John. So I guess they just had the wrong that number. A bit of a relief to be honest. Everytime they called it made me anxious.

I slept ok and I got up and at 8:30 I got my cat in the carrier fairly easily then I went to the Starbucks drive thru because their fall menu dropped today. I got the apple crisp cream chai thing and a baked apple crosssiant. Neither agreed with me but I had forgotten my glasses and my stomach med.

Crookshanks needed bloodwork done because he has to have dental work done next wednesday. After that ordeal was done I came.home and layed down for a bit to calm my stomach. I'm feeling decent now.

I need a lot of groceries. I'm out of a lot of basic stuff.

My 24 year old cousin is smoking now. Do those anti smoking ads on TV not scare the crap out of Gen Z?

The category on Pictionary today was "things to do with feet" these producers on this show don't even try to hide their kinks. I've noticed it with a number of categories.

@LadyShadow, welp, I’m looking at a bed trying to divide by zero, but it’s not a limit from one side so the bed is undefined, and I hate it. I also just found the BEST PEN EVER FKKKK YEAH!!!!!

I can’t go to the library anymore because people make quiet noises instead of loud ones lately.

I ate cheese though because my dads birthday I guess was on the same as &janeoncemore and he was quite the cheesehead if you took all the New Yorker out of him.

I agree about the dd thing ladyshadow. Once I chanced the chemicals, no going back.

So sorry for those of you dealing with depression right now

I went for my usual walk/jog this morning. I also had an appt. with my gynecologist, just a routine well-woman exam. I told him that my last few periods have been extremely light and he said it's possible I'm in or approaching perimenopause, but on the other hand it could be awhile yet. He did send in a referral for a bone density test since I've had some osteopenia detected in the past. The pap smear results are supposed to be back in about a week. Glad to get that appt. over with!

Going to kick back and relax this afternoon, read a bit, watch TV on Hulu.

I hope everyone has a fantastic Thursday!

I just put someone else’s washed laundry in the dryer and turned it on for them so I could use the washer. Cost me $2 but people never come back to get their laundry! I left a note.

Edit: the guy came back as I was putting my clothes in the dryer. I told him what I’d done and he was happy and thanked me. There was 30 minutes left on his dryer instead of the usual 60. Saved me 30 minutes.

That was sweet moose. Paying it forward.

I’ve done it moose!!

Thanks everyone for the wonderful birthday wishes! It means a lot to me.

I found out my former father-in-law died in February. His obit did not list any kids for my ex-husband who divorced me to have kids. I suspect my ex was not able to have kids. He had a calcium deposit on his balls, so it seemed like he had three. I always wondered why i never had an accidental pregnancy, we did it so much, he was obsessed with sex. My mom was very fertile.

No matter, i am happier on my own. My father-in-law lived a good long life to 84 and died suddenly and unexpectedly at home so he didn't suffer. Donations were to The Heart and Stroke Foundation, so presumably it was a heart attack. My father-in-law was a good man! My ex and i divorced thirty years ago and have had no contact so it is not a traumatic loss for me, just sort of sad.

Anyways, hugs to all who struggle and thanks again to those who took a moment to give me birthday wishes.

Well it's Friday .... so close to the weekend I can almost see it lol. I speak to my counsellor tomorrow night. It's been about 5 weeks. Not much has changed at work. I'll let her know I'm applying to Primary Schools. Saw a post at a Primary School this morning I want to apply to but the post has been withdrawn. Sigh.

Call a crisis line enough and I guess your pdoc calls and gets a script for more Sammy-kill and PRN helldol

Happy belated birthday Jane!
Sorry it seems that there a lot of folks depressed.
It is summer but perhaps some of you may
not get out into the sun. check your vitamin
D3 levels they should be between 50-60.
Mine was really low so I take 5,000 units a day
to keep them at a good level, it is over the counter.
Or perhaps a light box for some extra light.
I drank too much last night
at the tap room for ladys night. 50% off all drinks and food.
We have acquaintances there that we are
friendly with. One of our friends showed up,
we were happy to see her. It had been a long time.
She is working until 7 pm so she got off early to come visit with us...
I was not able to function properly so I canceled my 10;30 am appt.
and went back to bed and got up at 11am.
and got up and made some calls and emailed a friend.
Then went to sandras for lunch
Grilled egg plant it was good I did not like the pasta it
came with but really enjoyed the corn and plum crumble for dessert.
Almost 2 weeks ago I fell at the beach and sprained my ankle.

It really hurt and still hurts if I move it a certain way.
I have been doing some range of motion exercises through out the day.
I wear one of those sketchers slip on shoes and it helps support my

ankle. I swear that different parts of my body hurt off and on
because The rest of my body is compensating for my weak ankle.
I tried icing it up and that made it hurt more so I will stick with doing

range of motion exercises.
Enough about that!
moods stable. Sleep is rough at times But I have meds to take if need be.
Bizi