Hello; new person and my history

Hello! I'm new to this forum. My user name is WantToShare. My diagnosis is Bipolar II Disorder. I was not able to find professional help until I was 54 or 55 years of age, and I'd had severe depression since age 3, and wished I had never been born. My parents sent me to a psychologist when I was 12 years old. Prior to seeing her, I was very energetic and social, but after seeing her I became very withdrawn, and stayed that way all through high school. I got my true personality back when I went to college when I was 17 years old.

My sister, who is six years younger, grew up hearing me say "I wish I had never been born." My life has had a lot of successes, and a lot of tragedies.

I was only hospitalized one time, and it was a waste of my time. I had gone to a psychiatrist to try to get a new doctor, and I was very, very angry, which is one of my symptoms. This inept woman could not calm me down, and so she advised me to commit myself. Since I thought that a "hospital" would help me out, I did commit myself. I was there for a week. I was scared of some of the other patients, because violent patients were put into the same ward as regular people who were not violent. When they finally let me out, they sent me back to the same dysfunctional mental heatlh clinic that I was trying to get out of! Now, though, I have a very competent psychiatrist and therapist, too, but they are both out of state and I see them on Zoom. I don't like that. I would much prefer to have live in person contact with my providers, but according to my insurance company, there are not any local ones who see people in person. So strange.

Welcome! You will find a lot of support here

Sorry about your hospitalization experience. I've had a few bad ones myself, one that I commited myself, the others I was psychotic, so I guess in that case, I got a some help bringing me back to reality, but it still wasn't the most pleasant experience once I came around.

Welcome to the forum!

Yeah insurance should not be able to do that, they should be forced to pay for local mental health. That burns me that they can get away with that. I’m glad though that they are competent. Welcome

Welcome to the forum. ❤️

Yeah. I understand what you mean about Zoom. I once had to see a psych nurse through Zoom and found it really awkward. Plus, she was a moron. It sucks your insurance is like that. I was just in that unfortunate situation because at the time I lived in the middle of nowhere, where there were no nearby psychiatrists so I had no choice.

Welcome! I understand about not having local providers. I live in a really rural area and drive 1 hr 15 minutes each way for therapy and 2.5 hours each way for pdoc. I do zoom with pdoc more than half the time. I miss seeing her in person but sometimes it just doesn't work to drive so far. Sometimes I have to do zoom with my therapist because it is just too much to drive so far if I'm really symptomatic. I'm really glad zoom exists for this. But I would hate it if I were stuck with zoom all the time for both.

Hello, Everyone who wrote to me!!! You are so kind to welcome me to the forum!!!

I read and appreciate each post, and I really like you all!

I'm glad I'm now able to post here at the forum!

Is this forum based in UK? I'm in USA.

@WantToShare to the best of my knowledge this site is based in US but has members from all around the world.

Nice to meet you. I posted on another thread you started Tardive Dyskinesia and insomnia

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]