Bipolar Check-in #82

Moose72 · Sep 09, 2024 at 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I was feeling pretty good this morning--exercised, showered, washed & folded a load of laundry, cleaned the kitchen. Then, my daughter announced her school is having a meetup on Thursday. She is home-schooled so doesn't see other kids her age much. Unfortunely, H has to go into work that day and can't take her. I told H & my daughter there was no way I could drive her; the meetup is in downtown Houston, and I have bad driving anxiety, and I do not drive in most of Houston and especially not in downtown Houston.

Now, I feel bad and like a loser because if I were a normal mom, I could drive my daughter to this meetup without a problem. I'm feeling so anxious and panicked now and am beating up on myself. Times like this I really hate being me

Imagine how I feel. I have to have my youngest child- almost 23- drive me to my allergist appointment because it’s in a strange city and hour away and involves highway driving. It’s a 4 hour appointment too. Luckily there’s a starbucks a little ways up the road where he can study.

Mountaindewed · 04:49 PM

Does anyone else get the sense Princess Kate is dying?

I'm kinda down right now but I don't know what I want or need. This new Oreo Coke Zero tastes like a cardinal sin.

My new deodedarent is kinda crapping out on me and my therapist mentioned sterioids and cortiosal levels and I know my shots can mess with my cortisol levels and then add in the steroids. And I just want my deodarent to work lol. I've had night sweats a couple times recently.

Blueberrybook · Sep 09, 2024 at 02:43 PM

I cleaned both my bathrooms and that at least took my mind off my anxiety temporarily, but it's climbing back up again. I HATE anxiety & panic disorders! Bipolar disorder too while I'm at it!

I have done a lot of cleaning the past 2 days (well, a lot for me because I hate to clean). My daughter came in this morning when I was cleaning the kitchen, and the first thing she said to me was, "Is something wrong? Uh-oh, are you manic again?" A lot of times when I get manic, I get the cleaning bug, so I always have to wonder too when I start cleaning if I'm just having a good day and getting something accomplished or if I'm starting to get manic.

My concentration for reading has been the pits today, hopefully because of the high anxiety and not because of hypomania.

Blue_Bird · Sep 09, 2024 at 03:08 PM

Had a great violin lesson. She introduced me to her boyfriend who’s a professional drummer. They’re both professional musicians. I learned a lot today and have a lot to work on between now and my next lesson on the 28th

Nammu · Sep 09, 2024 at 04:39 PM

Oooo I’m so upset at my daughter’s insurance company. That cold she had yesterday has turned into something worse, her temperature is between 103-104 she’s taking Tylenol and using cold packs. I told her to call and get advice. But if it doesn’t improve she’ll need to go to ER and not on insurance. They need to sue them for kicking her off.

Scooter9 · Sep 09, 2024 at 05:23 PM

I had a busy several days, lots of socializing, crowds, driving, food, and late nights.

I managed to stay present and tried not to get overwhelmed by all the activity.

I had to sort of step back from myself and take events one at a time instead of together, all at once, as they happened. It helped, and nobody noticed that I was processing slower. There was a lot going on and everyone around me was distracted.

I got my car serviced today. Thankfully, the service was covered by the extended warranty I got with the car. It took 3 hours and I waited for it, but the time passed quickly.

I had to go shopping on the way home. Anxiety was up, but I managed. I think it helped that I redid that thing where I take things one at a time while I shopped.

Still feeling low, but that's not new. Anxiety is up and down yet I seem to have managed today.

Crazy Hitch · Sep 09, 2024 at 07:04 PM

I am enjoying not having year 8 classes to teach. They were upsetting me so much. I'm still in panic mode at work. Flight or fright mode. Too much cortisol from the trauma of my Year 8s is still lingering around in my body. I keep expecting the worst even though my other classes are nowhere near as bad. I'm still waiting to hear from the workers comp if they will accept my claim or not. My gp has me down for depression and anxiety caused by teaching the Year 8s. Man they were rough.

Hope everyone is having a good evening / day.

HALLIEBETH87 · Sep 09, 2024 at 07:34 PM

im irritable as hell. not like me. i was mean to my husband last night and i was validated in being mad but still i was mean. we never fight and i was ready to scream at him. that not like me. what has become of me? i am not euphoric and upbeatanymore

bizi · Sep 09, 2024 at 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

im irritable as hell. not like me. i was mean to my husband last night and i was validated in being mad but still i was mean. we never fight and i was ready to scream at him. that not like me. what has become of me? i am not euphoric and upbeatanymore

This sounds like you could be the start of hypomania. Or a mixed episode When do you see your pdoc or T next.
bizi

HALLIEBETH87 · Sep 09, 2024 at 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

This sounds like you could be the start of hypomania.When do you see your pdoc or T next.
bizi

Ive been kinda manic since august 10th-ish. Ive been on extra meds so ive been sleeping but not sound and not enough. m scared im headed to a mixed episode.

i see new pdoc oct 4. saw my last pdoc on friday and all she did was decrease me celexa and say come back in a month.

bizi · Sep 09, 2024 at 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Ive been kinda manic since august 10th-ish. Ive been on extra meds so ive been sleeping but not sound and not enough. m scared im headed to a mixed episode.

i see new pdoc oct 4. saw my last pdoc on friday and all she did was decrease me celexa and say come back in a month.

What does hubby say? @HALLIEBETH87

You can always show up to the hospital if things get worse If you start hurting your self or some one else. I am sorry you are having a mixed episode.

bizi

HALLIEBETH87 · Sep 09, 2024 at 09:40 PM

He doesn’t want me
To switch prescribers but I can’t stand her. and
I’m still
Posed at her for
Not listening to me

JaneOnceMore · Sep 09, 2024 at 09:45 PM

I had a quiet day. It passed easily except for a couple hours of boredom and frustration. I had a nice time looking over my Facebook page. I got a 110-point play in Scrabble today. Rare. I'm going to bed early for lack of something better to do.

Scooter9 · Sep 09, 2024 at 10:06 PM

Oh man, I had to drive this evening on Canada's busiest highway (401) and through a really busy part of the city. It was just about 15 miles, but what a crazy drive!

I took a Klonopin before I left so I could stay calm. It helped.

Now the Klonopin is doing its thing, getting my anxiety really low so maybe sleep will be good tonight.

Victoria'smom · Sep 09, 2024 at 10:07 PM

Everything is going wrong. Best psychiatrist I have ever had is leaving. Watching my nephew but there's so much up in the air. 6 am is not nice to me.

June08 · Sep 09, 2024 at 10:13 PM

Not to much to report on my end. The weekend was fast, but good. I had some fun moments at school today and, tomorrow, we start an experiment that lasts about a month and a half so that should be fun. A student, in a very kind/truly not mean way, poked fun at me for not knowing how to pronounce something-the way he did it was pretty hilarious!

I'm hoping to fall asleep faster tonight than I have been. Last night was the worst of all. But, I didn't feel overly tired during the day so that was good.

raspberrytorte · Sep 09, 2024 at 10:51 PM

The fleas are eating me alive!!!! They're not biting Husband or Daughter, or the cats anymore. Just me! My legs are covered with flea bites! It's disturbing! I'm so itchy I can't stand it. I've scratched myself so much in some spots I've made myself bleed. I wish they would just DIE. We're cleaning, vacuuming , laundering, fumigating.... on the daily. When will they just DIE!!!! DIE FLEAS!!!!!!!

Blue_Bird · Sep 10, 2024 at 12:58 AM

I hate life right now I have an inspection at 10:30am then a tenants meeting at 12pm. It’s 2am right now and I haven’t slept. And the previous night I only slept 5 hours. So this night I’ve gotten zero and am just gonna have to stay up at this point because I need to be up early and I forgot to take my night meds last night. I was really dizzy for like 30-45 minutes an hour or so ago and laid down cause the world felt like it was spinning. Eventually that went away. But my anxiety is really bad and I feel like crap because I’m so tired

Blue_Bird · Sep 10, 2024 at 01:01 AM

I want to cry. I’m worried my meds are poisoning me. I know that’s unlikely but it’s a thing I sometimes fear

Rosi700 · Sep 10, 2024 at 07:48 AM

This is the second day when I am not functioning well. I feel numb in some way. Yesterday, I had to fight all day long to resist my urge to take diazepam. But I made it. The same has happened today.

My input here is a cry out .... (I mean visiting here is meant as a "game changer").

I understand that I need to do something: I will do the following. 1) Take shower, 2) go to a restaurant for dinner, 3) shop groceries 4) put the groceries on their place, 5) chose which apparatus to use, the washing machine or the dishwasher.

I'll be back later and tell if I was able to do these things.

Am sending good thoughts to those who suffer for the moment!

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Bipolar Check-in #82

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 37,453 (SuperPoster!) 11 15k hugs given	Sep 09, 2024 at 03:08 PM #304 Had a great violin lesson. She introduced me to her boyfriend who’s a professional drummer. They’re both professional musicians. I learned a lot today and have a lot to work on between now and my next lesson on the 28th __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

HALLIEBETH87 Legendary Member Since Oct 2004 Location: usa Posts: 11,584 20 2,808 hugs given	Sep 09, 2024 at 09:40 PM #312 He doesn’t want me To switch prescribers but I can’t stand her. and I’m still Posed at her for Not listening to me __________________ schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin

JaneOnceMore Veteran Member Member Since Feb 2023 Location: Ontario; long-time member, just under other names Posts: 522 1 3,857 hugs given	Sep 09, 2024 at 09:45 PM #313 I had a quiet day. It passed easily except for a couple hours of boredom and frustration. I had a nice time looking over my Facebook page. I got a 110-point play in Scrabble today. Rare. I'm going to bed early for lack of something better to do.

Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 15,310 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,626 hugs given	Sep 09, 2024 at 10:07 PM #315 Everything is going wrong. Best psychiatrist I have ever had is leaving. Watching my nephew but there's so much up in the air. 6 am is not nice to me. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 37,453 (SuperPoster!) 11 15k hugs given	Sep 10, 2024 at 01:01 AM #319 I want to cry. I’m worried my meds are poisoning me. I know that’s unlikely but it’s a thing I sometimes fear __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi