Bipolar Check-in #82

I got online to pay the bill for my meds, and then I remembered I have to re-register for NH Housing, so I tried doing that, but I had trouble and called. No one answered, left a message (they'll get back within 48 business hours, so probably Tuesday). I went down to what I thought would've been a place to drop off the physical paper to fill out if you can't do it online, but I guess I went to local housing and have to go to state instead. That's down in Manchester, and if I went down today I'd have to come back 93 in Labor Day weekend tourist traffic, and I would rather just wait until Tuesday. Hopefully I'll get a call then. I have to do it by next Wednesday. I should've done it earlier, but I was a little busy being psychotic. Stupid me.

Talked to the pdoc again today (I love how often we can talk even if it's just through the grapevine). Starting Lamictal, and if that doesn't help we're starting Depakote. She said she was going to give me a little bit of Klonopin, but take half the haldol to see if that's better and if not take the klonopin.

I feel soooo dead. But I did pay for the meds!

It's been pretty chilly in the AM here. I was out in a T and boxers this morning at just about dawn and was a little chilled. I think it was about 50F so prett nice sleeping weather.

I'm still stable and sleeping well. I'm reading a lot but not doing much else other than walking & jogging in the morning. Today, I am going to the library with my daughter. She's driving and it has been raining and might rain again and the roads are slick, so it's got me more anxious than usual. I had a panic attack this morning but I was able to get thru that one with deep breathing, which actually worked for me for a change.

Stability's a bit boring to update on. I find myself toying with the idea of halving my Seroquel again so I have more energy to do more things, but that is likely to lead to psychosis and H would not be happy with me if he found out I was purposely not taking the full dose of my medication, especially of the AP.

Right now this pain is outweighing any mental health feeling I might be having. I just want to sleep. My pcp got back to me. He looked at the xray and said yeah I have arthrtis and then some kinda injury thing but the steroids will take care of it. Hopefully soon

My mom is *****ing at me because I asked her to get me a valium I ask her to keep ahold of. Shes just like "why can't you do it" and "you worry about me dying." Yet she asks me to get her stuff all the time because she has the fuking cat on her lap and doesnt want to disturb him.

My mom called immediate care and the doctor was like "yeahhh thats a reaction to the steroids. He needs the injection instead." So I'm going over tommorow for the shot. They were pushing the pills real hard on me yesterday for some reason.

I didn't know you could get so effed up after just 3 pills.



I took a shower and it hurt. I was doing everything with one hand pretty much.

Flyyyyuuiiiiing high to the sky so fly hi hi
Hi

Liver doctor got my blood results back and wants to talk to my Pdoc about my risperdal and cogentin! She asked for her name and phone number! Ugh oh…

Lover ultrasound came back normal. Ty goodness

Found this! Reported it to my liver doctor!

AI Overview


+7
Terconazole, an azole antifungal agent used to treat vaginal yeast infections, is not known to have serious interactions with other drugs. Oral azoles, however, have rarely been associated with abnormal liver enzyme elevations.

Fuuk these mental health side effects. I feel like a psychotic mess and I don't even have psychosis.

My stomach is a mess too and I've tried everything more then once

Not that steroid shots are the most fun physically so I shouldnt have read. Which I guess is why they wanted to try the steroids. But the shots wont eff with my anxiety.

I feel like pacing right now. I'm in bed trying to calm down. My BP is fine. Maybe I'll try some more melatonin

I emailed my therapist about 3 times today and I never heard back. She probably thought I lost my marbles. Marbles would be a good name for a cat. Then if it ran away you could be like "I lost my Marbles."

But **** these 3 steroid pills which wasnt even a full day, and eff this shoulder pain and eff whatever is gonna happen the next few days from the shot

Edit: my therapist got back to me she was all idk what to tell you but I'm guessing these symptoms will just wear off. The mental health ones she means. She said theres always the ER for medical stuff but I can wait 12 hours to get to immediate care. I think the psych stuff is slowing down but I wonder if Vanna White ever slept with Pat Sajak

The day was crazy as hell. Storm rolled on through right after I went to visit my church, black skies everywhere. Had a mental breakdown and almost hit someone on the road because everyone was trying to rush home before the storm hit.

BUT before that....

Brought up mental health when I chaired my AA meeting today. Talked about how we stay mentally fit to combat the thoughts that lead us to the first drink - was a really good meeting everyone participated. Then went to lunch with my usual friend, and FIVE more ladies joined us!! Was so much fun!! Was on a high so decided to go to my church and visit the chapel. BAD IDEA, let's just say it didn't go well, and it looked like the plagues were about to descend on my town when I left. Storm was real bad. Not the best ending to the day, especially since I was shaking read bad and cried a lot, but that's just MORE proof that I need to stay on the path I am on.

Hugs to those who are really going through it today - @Mountaindewed I hope you feel better soon, sounds like you're having a real tough time, you're in my thoughts.
@Blueberrybook - boring is good, you're stable, sleeping, and doing really well, so proud!!! @MuddyBoots you're in my thoughts often, my husband spoke through the grapevine all the time, interesting you say that.

Hugs to everyone!! Hope everyone enjoys their holiday weekend. Big barbeque at my AA group on Monday, I am bringing macaroni salad. Should be fun!

Mmmmmmmmm

Busy several days. Anxiety is still up, but I think it's slowly coming down...really slowly.

My wife has covid so I'll be sleeping in another bedroom for a while, but chances are that I'll catch it too. Doctors here don't prescribe Paxlovid for it, they just recommend taking Tylenol and rest for 5 days.

I upgraded my phone so I just copied everything over from my old phone to the new one. My old phone was just a year old but it had problems.

Like a lot of you, I'm also feeling lower than usual. I've lost interest in eating so I'm just eating enough to keep from feeling really hungry.

I see my pdoc and T next week, I also have a call about my disability next week.

Took 4mg of Risperdal , and my prn 5mg of zyprexa earlier she still wide awake. Had very little caffeine today.

I keep typing the wrong words

Work went pretty well today. I had to bring some grading home, and will need to go in on Monday even though there is no school, but I'm okay with that. Gives me something to do on Monday which will probably help with the depression feelings I've had the past few days.

Tomorrow, I am going to try the corticosteroid the neurologist prescribed. I looked at the pills and they are indented to be easily cut/broken in half. So, I'm going to start with half a dose for at least the first several days. And, I will only take it in the morning even though there is supposed to be an evening dose. Then, if I'm bipolar symptom free and feel I need it for my POTs symptoms, I'll increase to the full dose just in the morning. Right now, I have no plans to take it in the evening because I'm worried about blood pressure side effects while I'm laying down. I still would, ideally, only take it as needed. I'm not sure exactly what that would look like though since it's meant to be taken in the morning and evening so, if I get symptoms mid day, I don't think I'm supposed to take it at that point.

I'm kinda worried my moms face is gonna look demonic. Got violently sick after 2 Tylenol and some water. Idk if I'm having side effects from the steroid or a reaction at this point. Freaking out about those demons though. I thought I saw a couple walk by my window. They had Chipotle plates on their heads though.

The devil speaks to me? Obviously.

My moms face is ok.

I decided to go on a diet (lifestyle change) today. It's been germinating for a while now. I'm very unhappy with my fat body. I did light strength training and only had water and a homemade protein shake after i made the decision mid-afternoon. I ate junk before that, not to worry, i'm certain i got my calories in.

I feel pretty good. I got cranky before the protein shake but i'm so pleased that it went well that my mood's turned right around.

@June08:

Sounds like you're being really sensibly cautious about the costicosteroid. It's reasonable to do an experiment since your POTs is so troublesome. Best of luck!

Well I’m feeling very anxious. It’s too much for me to type out right now. Just lots going on and I’m back at work on Monday after a weeks medical leave. I’m scared.

I feel better mental health wise. I'm not an anxious psychotic mess. I am a bit of a mess physically. I woke up feeling nauseated and I peed out all this dark foggy urine. Now I'm just a bit achy and I'm trying to take care of my nausea with dramamine and pantropalzole. My shoulder is just numb. I can't feel it much.

Now its cracking and making real nasty sounds

I've been really into the group Peter, Paul and Mary lately. I used to have a shirt a number of years ago. I wish I had another legit one.

I guess they are a bit problematic now.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're more than carbon and chemicals
We are the image of the invisible
Free will is ours and we can't let go
We are the image of the invisible
We can't allow this, the quiet cull
We are the image of the invisible
So we sing out this, our canticle
We are the image of the invisible

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SING WITH ME MY FRIENDS!

but seriously, look at your raspberries before picking them off the bush and putting them in your mouth. There might be spiders!!!

I'm trying to convince my mom to let me bring a dog into the house. They have this GORGEOUS boy at the humane society. If she doesn't agree I'm getting equipment for a bearded dragon (and then getting one, obviously)

@MuddyBoots:

Nice poem!

Good morning friends! I’m sitting here with one of my cats (Mustachio), she’s on my lap kneading right now and purring, listening to music and drinking coffee while I decide what to do for the first part of the day. Around 3pm my sister is gonna come pick me up and we’re going to that Italian pastry place I won the gift card to from the reading challenge I participated in at my library. We’re probably gonna get an 8 inch tiramisu, and some drinks then come back to my apartment and enjoy some of it. I’m thinking I’m gonna get a large caramel macchiato. She can get whatever she wants to drink. I’m super excited about it.

I slept really well. Probably gonna straighten up my apartment a bit then read till it’s time to go. Maybe take a shower too

@Blue_Bird
Your cat is adorable! I see where he gets his name from! I have 3 cats, and there is nothing like having a purring cat on your lap
I hope you have a great time with your sister. I LOVE tiramasu though I haven't had it in forever. Now you're making me crave it!

I feel better. I took a couple tylenol and a couple dramamine and my stomach med and a valium and then I fell back asleep until 7. I got my steroid shot. I was not phased by the shot in my shoulder. It was actually closer to my back and she put a ton of numbing spray on it before so I didn't even really feel much. Its still numb. She mentioned if I wanted a refferal to PT and I said no. I know PT works for me, but idk. My mom says I shouldn't count it out. The doctor said the shot should work for 3 months.

My mental health is stable again. I got all the pills out of my system. Last night sucked so much.

My new med is all in and its only $43 for a 3 month supply. Some stuff was out of stock for a couple weeks and I wasn't sure if it was a one month or a 3 month. Even if it was $43 for a one month thats still better then the $450 for a 3 month supply I was paying before.

Bluebird - your cat looks like Mario of the Mario Brothers. Also like my cousin Mario! So cute!

Cute kitty!!!