Bipolar Check-in #82

Blueberrybook · Sep 26, 2024 at 02:38 PM

@halliebeth I had that echolalia really bad at my last hospitalization. I would repeat words out loud that I'd just said or words the caregiver with me would have just said even when she wasn't talking to me. I knew I was doing it and wanted to stop it but I couldn't until finally when I got more stabilized, it tapered off and thankfully disappeared.

Nammu · Sep 26, 2024 at 02:43 PM

I’m so so. Still not sleeping well despite two ambien. Took me hours to fall asleep , I’m soooooooo irritable. I accidentally drop something and it’s ww iii . I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and needed gas. The grocery store has a thing where if you spend $30 you get .20 cents off per gallon. Usually I have stuff delivered but I’ve been hiding out in my apartment and needed to get out. I got .50 cent per gallon off my gas!

I seemed to run into people everywhere. I decided honesty was the best policy and when they asked why I wasn’t around, why I wasn’t playing games. I told them I was too irritable. It’s bipolar and that it will pass and I’ll be back. Got a lot of positive feedback. And encouragement.

Noise sets me off too. Mostly it’s been nice enough to keep the AC off but today it’s not. So I took my hearing aids out. Oh I feel for people in this state that can’t just take hearing aids out.

Pdoc in 13 days! I think I’m gonna ask for seroquel a low dose for sleep. Maybe a can use it a bit before the cramping kicks in? I just need to get sleep under control. Oy!

raspberrytorte · Sep 26, 2024 at 02:48 PM

@Scooter9

Thank you for the advice! I will try doing that. I also have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. Maybe she'll have some insight too, though I doubt it. She'll probably just blame my hormones like she usually does and tell me to see my GP. Last year when I did that all my blood work and hormone levels came back fine and my GP told me to see my psychiatrist, so I bet if I did go to my GP she'd just tell me to see my psychiatrist.

Sigh.

I DO love my therapist but sometimes I question her advice!

Blue_Bird · Sep 26, 2024 at 03:04 PM

Dissociating right now

I didn’t get on the treadmill, or practice violin , or walk to the library. Didn’t do anything I said I was going to do today

Blue_Bird · Sep 26, 2024 at 03:15 PM

I need to get out of the house. I've been isolating in my apartment the past few days and I'm starting to get cabin fever.

Tomorrow I am going to the library.

I don't feel excited about things like I normally do. Normally I wake up feeling amazing and excited for each day. Lately I've been getting up and just trying to pass the time till bed time, then not sleeping well.

Mountaindewed · Sep 26, 2024 at 03:21 PM

How do you know if your having anxiety or legit stomach issues? I can't sit still because my stomach hurts like hell and Idk if its an issue or not. I did pee out a bunch of dark brown urine when I woke up this morning and I threw up some specks of stuff that may or may not look like coffee grounds. All I've had is apple sauce today. But man **** this pain.

HALLIEBETH87 · Sep 26, 2024 at 04:06 PM

i see a doc a an psych immediate care tomorrow. i see him bc im losing it. im feeling bugs crawling on me and jsut want relief and to prevent IP. its $140 as they dont take insurance

Crazy Hitch · Sep 26, 2024 at 04:08 PM

I slept 12 hours last night and have woken up tired. Must be the depression giving me no energy, right?

We’re going to visit my partner’s dad in hospital today. Hopefully he hasn’t deteriorated any more because last week he was pretty bad.

I’m off to play Wordle but I’ll check in again later. Tc all!

HALLIEBETH87 · Sep 26, 2024 at 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

How do you know if your having anxiety or legit stomach issues? I can't sit still because my stomach hurts like hell and Idk if its an issue or not. I did pee out a bunch of dark brown urine when I woke up this morning and I threw up some specks of stuff that may or may not look like coffee grounds. All I've had is apple sauce today. But man **** this pain.

Anxiety makes my IBS worse. like disabling worse

Mountaindewed · Sep 26, 2024 at 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Anxiety makes my IBS worse. like disabling worse

I took my blood pressure and it was 155/90 and then I realized I didn't take my propalanol. I took it and I feel better. I counted them and I have forgtten it 11 times. So I'm guessing some of the times I've felt crappy have been because I've missed a dose.

Blueberrybook · Sep 26, 2024 at 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

i see a doc a an psych immediate care tomorrow. i see him bc im losing it. im feeling bugs crawling on me and jsut want relief and to prevent IP. its $140 as they dont take insurance

I am glad you are seeing a psych doc tomorrow. You have been struggling awhile now.

HALLIEBETH87 · Sep 26, 2024 at 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I am glad you are seeing a psych doc tomorrow. You have been struggling awhile now.

im just terrified if i wait until oct 4 ill be too bad and theyll want to IP me and i jsut cant afford that right now. so ill see pscyh tomorrow to bridge me until i see pdoc. my therpaist likes that im going. said its a smart plan since ive been feeling bugs on me now. thast always a bad sign for me

MuddyBoots · Sep 26, 2024 at 04:39 PM

I have absolutely zero recollection of the time between leaving the library bathroom and just looking out the window and noticing it was pouring out not even 10 minutes ago. That's cool.

My head feels weird. Like my hair doesn't belong there. I think I'm going to shave it again and hope it's not my scalp or my brain.

Maybe I'll get a tattoo. Maybe I'll have a coffee and my meds and go to sleep. Probably that and look up tattoo prices before.

edit: ayy found a dude in the area people seem to really like

MuddyBoots · Sep 26, 2024 at 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

im just terrified if i wait until oct 4 ill be too bad and theyll want to IP me and i jsut cant afford that right now. so ill see pscyh tomorrow to bridge me until i see pdoc. my therpaist likes that im going. said its a smart plan since ive been feeling bugs on me now. thast always a bad sign for me

I agree with your therapist that it is a smart plan, especially if you're thinking (they'll think) you'll need inpatient by the time your pdoc appointment rolls around.

Hope it goes well and you can figure something out that helps

Blue_Bird · Sep 26, 2024 at 05:02 PM

Is the 54321 grounding technique something that should be done on a daily basis to help with dissociation and panic or just when dissociation and/or panic actually occurs. If anyone knows let me know. I’m trying to ground myself. I have an ice pack that I use sometimes too. Because cold temps help me.

Blueberrybook · Sep 26, 2024 at 05:43 PM

Blue_Bird I don't see that it would hurt or stop being effective using the 54321 technique daily to help with anxiety/dissociation. At the very least, it would seem like it could lower your base level anxiety. I've never really used it for dissociation much, just panic & anxiety. Well, really, I use cold temperature because that works best for me. Deep breathing if I'm in a bind and trying to concentrate on the 54321 technique or getting to something cold is not doable (like if panic hits while driving).

I dissociate a lot too. Most days to some extent or another. Some times are more bothersome than others like if it happens while I'm driving. I've never really tried grounding to help with dissociation, a lot of the time when I dissociate I don't panic. Only if I start thinking/focusing on the dissociation too much I panic or if I do something that needs 100% of my focus like driving, I'm not sure that even makes sense?

Blue_Bird · Sep 26, 2024 at 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Blue_Bird I don't see that it would hurt or stop being effective using the 54321 technique daily to help with anxiety/dissociation. At the very least, it would seem like it could lower your base level anxiety. I've never really used it for dissociation much, just panic & anxiety. Well, really, I use cold temperature because that works best for me. Deep breathing if I'm in a bind and trying to concentrate on the 54321 technique or getting to something cold is not doable (like if panic hits while driving).

I dissociate a lot too. Most days to some extent or another. Some times are more bothersome than others like if it happens while I'm driving. I've never really tried grounding to help with dissociation, a lot of the time when I dissociate I don't panic. Only if I start thinking/focusing on the dissociation too much I panic or if I do something that needs 100% of my focus like driving, I'm not sure that even makes sense?

Yes that makes sense. And thank you for your reply. It’s probably a lot because I focus on it so much when it’s happening. It tends to happen less when I’m in contact with other people. I find talking to other people grounding. But it usually has to be over the phone or in person and I have nobody to talk to ever really anymore. So I end up sitting in my apartment dissociating and imaging worst case scenarios in a never ending anxiety spiral. So I’m trying to make an effort to get out more. But idk how to make friends.

I tend to dissociate most when I start imaging future scenarios that stress me out, then I get lost inside images in my head of worst case scenarios and can’t pull myself out. Or things I’m worried about.

Temperature helps me a lot too which is why I have ice packs I bought and put in my freezer for things like this. I tend to use them more when I’m having panic attacks though.

Maybe I just am overly focused on it when it’s happening. And that makes it worse

Blue_Bird · Sep 26, 2024 at 06:06 PM

Part of why I’m redecorating my apartment is because I want it to feel cozy and safe and a calming environment. I’m ready for a change in here it’s been the same for like 5 years. I like everything I picked out for my new decor plan

JaneOnceMore · Sep 26, 2024 at 07:13 PM

I got some good time outside with my dog in nature as it was a nice Fall day. Otherwise the day was a grind as i was bored and irritable. I ordered-in food twice today. Oink!

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!"

Blue_Bird · Sep 26, 2024 at 07:18 PM

I might have to go back up to the full 200mg of thorazine. I'm just not sleeping on the 100mg. It sucks. I wish my brain/body weren't like this

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Bipolar Check-in #82

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 37,509 (SuperPoster!) 11 15.1k hugs given	Sep 26, 2024 at 03:04 PM #744 Dissociating right now I didn’t get on the treadmill, or practice violin , or walk to the library. Didn’t do anything I said I was going to do today __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

HALLIEBETH87 Legendary Member Since Oct 2004 Location: usa Posts: 11,609 20 2,808 hugs given	Sep 26, 2024 at 04:06 PM #747 i see a doc a an psych immediate care tomorrow. i see him bc im losing it. im feeling bugs crawling on me and jsut want relief and to prevent IP. its $140 as they dont take insurance __________________ schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin

Crazy Hitch ɘvlovƎ Member Since Nov 2013 Location: Australia Posts: 19,222 (SuperPoster!) 11 15k hugs given	Sep 26, 2024 at 04:08 PM #748 I slept 12 hours last night and have woken up tired. Must be the depression giving me no energy, right? We’re going to visit my partner’s dad in hospital today. Hopefully he hasn’t deteriorated any more because last week he was pretty bad. I’m off to play Wordle but I’ll check in again later. Tc all!

JaneOnceMore Veteran Member Member Since Feb 2023 Location: Ontario; long-time member, just under other names Posts: 536 1 4,007 hugs given	Sep 26, 2024 at 07:13 PM #759 I got some good time outside with my dog in nature as it was a nice Fall day. Otherwise the day was a grind as i was bored and irritable. I ordered-in food twice today. Oink! "I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!"

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 37,509 (SuperPoster!) 11 15.1k hugs given	Sep 26, 2024 at 07:18 PM #760 I might have to go back up to the full 200mg of thorazine. I'm just not sleeping on the 100mg. It sucks. I wish my brain/body weren't like this __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi