Bipolar Check-in #82

MuddyBoots · Sep 27, 2024 at 04:06 PM

@raspberrytorte I'm all for not going to the hospital and avoiding doctors as much as possible, but I really really really think you should go to the ER. That is a lot of valium/diazepam. You say it's not lethal, and in my experience with benzo overdoses of similar equivalency, yeah, I'm alive, but it was NOT FUN when that left my body. And then there's the fact you are in the headspace you did that in the first place, and the phrasing "dye freak out" is just further sign that you're more impulsive. I don't want to see you get hurt or suffer needlessly. You can do what you want, of course, but if I were sitting next to you I would be begging to take you to the ER.

I want to say throughout the day I check for activity on this forum logged out from my phone and only log in and post outside of "normal MSF time" if there's something that looks really important or I'm doing a freak out, and this is one of those "looks really important" moments that had me logging in real quick.

Nammu · Sep 27, 2024 at 04:48 PM

Yes raspberry, I agree with muddy. You are not safe. You take a lot of meds and the can interact with a nonlethal dose to be harmful. Go to the ER. At this point you need the professionals

raspberrytorte · Sep 27, 2024 at 05:25 PM

Don't worry you guys. I'm okay. (Well, as okay as I can be I guess.) I don't need to go to the hospital. I always suffer through med withdrawals whenever I go to the hospital, which won't help me. I always get some asshat IP doctor who takes me off my benzo.... or last time it was gabapentin. Doesn't help my anxiety at all. Nope.

I took my nap. Dyeing my hair in about half an hour.

I'm not taking anymore diazepam anyway because I don't want to run out early. I've been through benzo withdrawal and it was the worst experience of my life, and all of my other meds are locked up.

Mountaindewed · Sep 27, 2024 at 05:34 PM

Possible trigger:

I took a Geodon 80 at 1AM, an 80 at 8AM, and an 80 at 5PM. And three 5mg valium between 6-7 a 4th one at 8AM and a 5th one at 4:30

I doubt any of that is that big of a deal. I just know now not to drink half a carton of iced coffee

Moose72 · Sep 27, 2024 at 06:03 PM

I’m on the couch with a song on a cd on infinite repeat. Cat is sleeping wrapped around the arm of the couch. Had chicken wings I made in the air fryer for dinner. My friends are ignoring me. I hate when they do that!

HALLIEBETH87 · Sep 27, 2024 at 06:09 PM

Saw the immediate care psych np. He gave me haldol. Called me in one zyprexa last night so I could sleep. It worked. He was super nice. If it wasn’t $140 each time bc they don’t take insurance I’d keep seeing him

Scooter9 · Sep 27, 2024 at 09:14 PM

I found a really interesting article from the New York Times, published in 2010, called The Americanization of Mental Illness.

The article discusses mental health in terms of the suffer's culture. Although it discusses schizophrenia and anorexia, it's applicable to mental illness in general.

What is really interesting is the result of a study that evaluated how people treat those with mental illness that resulted either from their environment or biology - the result is surprising.

I think this article is good because it challenges how we think about and treat mental health. It also encourages empathy.

The article appeared in the NYT but I found a link to a PDF copy.

https://nevillepark.ca/wp-content/up...ytimes-com.pdf

BeyondtheRainbow · 10:29 PM

We have a family reunion going on this weekend. Part of it is some people coming back to visit a community fair they grew up attending and some people are just here to see those people. But it is a LOT of people in our quiet lifestyle here. It's so nice to see everyone but it is so loud. My head noise is back in force. I didn't realize that part of that was static but after listening to people talk loudly for hours I have a staticky head and know that was my
usual before adding Seroquel. Tomorrow will be 10 of us in one house so that should get really loud. I'll take some PRN Seroquel with me. I should have today. But it is really nice to see people. I'm just tired.

I'm going to have to make my poor cat move so I can get something to eat. She's so cozy but I'm so hungry. Who will win?

ETA: It was a tie. I moved my leg and little and she jumped down. I love it when there isn't any guilt.

Crazy Hitch · Sep 27, 2024 at 09:27 PM

Today is the football grand finals and I’m going to drink a little bit. I don’t drink often so I’ll have to be careful! Just one or 2. My partner is doing a bbq so that’s nice 🙂

June08 · Sep 27, 2024 at 09:31 PM

I'm so glad it's the weekend, mainly because it means I'm that much closer to seeing my counselor and pdoc next week. Although, I'm nervous to tell them (especially my counselor) just how much I've been struggling. Especially my counselor because I haven't seen her very long so don't know how she responds when someone mentions SI thoughts. The thoughts are still there, but not as intensely as they have been.

Since I have so much work to do this weekend, at some point tomorrow or Sunday I'm going to go to a coffee shop to work on things.

TW: appetite/food/weight talk

Possible trigger:

I had zero appetite this evening but new I needed to eat something so went to the gas station to get a protein shake and a couple of small things. I'm noticing some temptations for disordered eating, which I get from time to time, so am just monitoring so I don't accidentally start losing to much weight. The depression has me not wanting to eat though.

Victoria'smom · Sep 27, 2024 at 10:47 PM

I swear I wrote. Everything is still ****ed it's just now I'm agitated and now can't sleep. Kids still here maybe for another week.

Mountaindewed · 08:05 AM

I slept 9 hours and it felt great. I woke up at 8 with a mucusy cough because some stuff had gone down the wrong way earlier in the day. The med makes me tired but it does get rid of the cough. I can't help feeling like my seasonal depression is starting up. I know my therapist told me on Thursday that I am depressed. But I feel it more then normal.

Ok. So I am depressed and lacking energy and I can't get out of bed most days but idk what to do about it.

I fell back asleep for half an hour or so. I'm trying just to get up the energy to do anything. I ate Greek yogurt for protein and bread for carbs. I opened the curtains in my room. I sat in the living room for about 10 minutes before I had to go lie down. My stomach is fine. I'm just low in energy.

Blue_Bird · Sep 28, 2024 at 07:28 AM

I slept good. Have a violin lesson later tonight. It's at 5pm. It's only going on 8:30am now. So I have time to practice before my lesson to try to make up for my lack of practice the past few days and hope it isn't super noticeable.

Gonna spend the morning reading. It's too early in the day to practice right now. I'm gonna wait till around 12:30pm or 1pm to start. So I don't wake the whole building up. I have a mute on my violin but it's still loud.

I drew a picture of Bulbasaur from Pokemon last night

MuddyBoots · Sep 28, 2024 at 10:30 AM

They were late on meds again today. Yesterday the pharmacy did another "whoopsies, we forgot we had a job," which is cool that I got them now that they're closed for the weekend. This morning was good though because I had an excuse not to get in an ***-car

Can I just say kudos to all the moms out there? I'm pretty good with acute pain and suck at chronic pain, but I had my IUD removed yesterday and that wee little thing hurt like a mother coming out. Couldn't imagine a human even if pint sized and drugged up (me, not the pint sized one).

but today is a good day. I got to play outside with a tree that was cut down. Maybe later on facebook my neighbor'll post a vid of me running down the street with a bush head asking if anyone knows if I've relapsed

nahhh just making sure the leaf peepers know the locals.

Moose72 · Sep 28, 2024 at 10:38 AM

Geeze I have great kids! N3 called to inform me that he can’t take me to my allergy appointment an hour away because he has to work that morning. (I am terrible with directions outside my usually driving area! ) The appointment starts at 7:45 a.m.! However N1 can take me but not pick me up but N3 can pick me up! And it’s only 15 minutes for N3 from his work! So nobody has to wait the 4 hours I’ll be there! And N2 has to work all day that day but we are getting together tomorrow afternoon just to hang out! We rarely hang out so this should be fun! Yay I love my kids! Teamwork!

MuddyBoots · Sep 28, 2024 at 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Geeze I have great kids! N3 called to inform me that he can’t take me to my allergy appointment an hour away because he has to work that morning. (I am terrible with directions outside my usually driving area! ) The appointment starts at 7:45 a.m.! However N1 can take me but not pick me up but N3 can pick me up! And it’s only 15 minutes for N3 from his work! So nobody has to wait the 4 hours I’ll be there! And N2 has to work all day that day but we are getting together tomorrow afternoon just to hang out! We rarely hang out so this should be fun! Yay I love my kids! Teamwork!

It is the best feeling ever when things work out like that!

"Ay, the way we planned won't work...THERE'S AN EVEN BETTER PLAN!"

Blueberrybook · Sep 28, 2024 at 10:50 AM

LOL @MuddyBoots That's what they make epidurals for! Yeah, it pretty much sucked so bad BEFORE I got the epidural but afterwards I didn't feel a thing giving birth! I couldn't even feel the contractions or if I was even pushing but obviously the baby came out! Seriously though, are you on some sort of birth control after getting your IUD removed? Did the IUD just not work out for you or was it time for removal?

Moose72 · Sep 28, 2024 at 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

LOL @MuddyBoots That's what they make epidurals for! Yeah, it pretty much sucked so bad BEFORE I got the epidural but afterwards I didn't feel a thing giving birth! I couldn't even feel the contractions or if I was even pushing but obviously the baby came out! Seriously though, are you on some sort of birth control after getting your IUD removed? Did the IUD just not work out for you or was it time for removal?

I hope she went home with different birth control. I got my copper T iud out on January 2nd 2001 and the doctor wouldn’t fit me for a diaphragm saying they don’t work for women who’ve had babies! He wanted to put another hormonal iud in and I refused so I left without birth control! A week later N3 was conceived! I love N3 so I kinda have to forgive that doctor !

Sunflower123 · Sep 28, 2024 at 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

LOL @MuddyBoots That's what they make epidurals for! Yeah, it pretty much sucked so bad BEFORE I got the epidural but afterwards I didn't feel a thing giving birth! I couldn't even feel the contractions or if I was even pushing but obviously the baby came out! Seriously though, are you on some sort of birth control after getting your IUD removed? Did the IUD just not work out for you or was it time for removal?

Speaking of epidurals…they gave me two epidurals with 7 redoses. None of it took effect. Quite literally in labor for 22 hours feeling everything. Don’t regret a thing though.

MuddyBoots · Sep 28, 2024 at 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

LOL @MuddyBoots That's what they make epidurals for! Yeah, it pretty much sucked so bad BEFORE I got the epidural but afterwards I didn't feel a thing giving birth! I couldn't even feel the contractions or if I was even pushing but obviously the baby came out! Seriously though, are you on some sort of birth control after getting your IUD removed? Did the IUD just not work out for you or was it time for removal?

There was this gal that I used to see in the parking lot at a place once a lot, and she had 3 natural births! At home, no drugs, bare bones "yup, y'all were conceived in this place and you will be born in this place."

The IUD wasn't nice to me. (TMI incoming) I was hospitalized I don't know 5 times in the past 12 months and during or right after four of those I started my period, and there's been times I've had 3 week cycles for three months straight followed by 5 months of no bleeding but all the fun of cramps and sore boobs just enough to make me question my choice of underwear and pants.

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Bipolar Check-in #82

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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 38,802 (SuperPoster!) 8 9,764 hugs given	Sep 27, 2024 at 05:34 PM #784 Possible trigger: I took a Geodon 80 at 1AM, an 80 at 8AM, and an 80 at 5PM. And three 5mg valium between 6-7 a 4th one at 8AM and a 5th one at 4:30 I doubt any of that is that big of a deal. I just know now not to drink half a carton of iced coffee __________________ I'm Blue

HALLIEBETH87 Legendary Member Since Oct 2004 Location: usa Posts: 11,608 20 2,808 hugs given	Sep 27, 2024 at 06:09 PM #786 Saw the immediate care psych np. He gave me haldol. Called me in one zyprexa last night so I could sleep. It worked. He was super nice. If it wasn’t $140 each time bc they don’t take insurance I’d keep seeing him __________________ schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin

Crazy Hitch ɘvlovƎ Member Since Nov 2013 Location: Australia Posts: 19,222 (SuperPoster!) 11 15k hugs given	Sep 27, 2024 at 09:27 PM #789 Today is the football grand finals and I’m going to drink a little bit. I don’t drink often so I’ll have to be careful! Just one or 2. My partner is doing a bbq so that’s nice 🙂

Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 15,319 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,638 hugs given	Sep 27, 2024 at 10:47 PM #791 I swear I wrote. Everything is still **ed it's just now I'm agitated and now can't sleep. Kids still here maybe for another week. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA** Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog