Please help my future wife

I agree, but it IS broke. I'm lonely. I've studied the heck out of bipolar, maybe I should seek out a bipolar woman. I certainly know enough be be of some help!

BTW

Tucson, Arizona...

Go volunteer for the election. You will meet like minded people.

I don't like how she's using her bipolar diagnosis as an excuse for her actions. 🙄

What I'm thinking is that if she truly wants to be with you the rest of her life, it should be a no-brainer on her part - get the divorce and move in & marry you. I agree she is using her bipolar as an excuse and meanwhile you're spinning your wheels.

You sound like a great person, and there are other fish in the sea.

I've sent her your well thought out personal message, and she accused me of attacking her and sharing details about her life that she didn't want revealed.

She also said I didn't mention my own faults, which are numerous. To be fair and balanced, early on in our relationship, I drank (not to excess) and I quit, out of respect for her past self-medicating. I smoked cigars, and stopped.

I also had a habit of sometimes losing my temper, which I have 100% succeeded in correcting. She gave me a list of 8 things wrong with me last valentine's day, which I've mostly corrected, except for my tendency to be too blunt, which I have not been able to correct.

I am by no means a saint, but I've done my best to correct my faults.

She is currently encouraging me to leave her and move on, but, as she is the only woman I have ever truly loved in 64 years, I find this impossible.

Now she's gaslighting you?

She's the one who's cheating on her husband.

She has no interest in moving in with you. You are a toy she amuses herself with. It’s time to drop her and move on.

She's a good woman. I've been accused (rightly) of being a man-*****, and I've know a lot of women. She's been honest with me, but she's bipolar and has high anxiety.

She just needs help with crippling fear of change. If anyone reading this knows how to defeat this fear in a bipolar person, please chime in. If she beats this fear she will have a happy life.

I guess certain words are censored here. The word that was censored refers to a man that is sort of a male prostitute of sorts.

There is nothing about her that suggests she’s bipolar. Bipolar is not the crippling fear of change it is a mood disorder.

To quote Spock; Having is not so pleasing a thing, after all as wanting. She has a husband and security but she wants more. She plays with you.

I understands that you are lonely. But your solution to end loneliness by pursuing married women isn’t productive. To cure loneliness you might want to look for single women, not other men’s wives.

You can’t control what other people do or don’t do. You can only control yourself and your actions.

Also you need to understand that most cheaters don’t leave their spouses. You waste your time.
She doesn’t need help. She cheats on her husband. She might need help of a lawyer if she wants divorce but she likely doesn’t want that or she’d be long divorced

Look for single women

No it’s not impossible. There’s no way you “must” go for a married woman. No such thing

This.

We can't help you because bipolar is a mood disorder. It's not the crippling fear of change. Anyone can have a fear of change. That's not something special only people with bipolar have.

Unless she's manic, hypo, or depressed?

Is her husband abusive? Is she scared of him?

I asked before and Brian said she’s not in danger

Oh okay.

I m bipolar 1. I have been hospitalized more than 20 times. I have NO crippling fear of change. It's not necessarily a part of being bipolar.

I have been bipolar since childhood

Several things I know without the shadow of a doubt:

1-She was diagnosed as bipolar 20 years ago, is on medication, and sees her psychologist regularly.

2- She wants to leave and be with me so much it actually bring her to tears. She has a horrible, crippling fear of change.

3- I've read many books and tried to study bipolar the best I can. I now know that no 2 bipolar sufferers are the same. All of you show slightly different symptoms.

In Genevieve's case, self-medicating with alcohol gave her the strength and courage to face her fears up to 12 years ago, when she quit drinking.

She believes 100% that bipolar is what gives her this terrible fear of change. Like many of you, she copes by having a routine every day, and she is terrified that breaking her daily ritual will cause confusion and distress.

She is not playing a game, and she is absolutely sure I am the man she wants to spend her life with. I can't go into detail here, but she has proven this to me in ways that cement her commitment to me.

It fear, plain and simple. Fear of change, for a bipolar person trying to make a major life decision totally clear-minded and sober.

Another huge fear is her adult son. He's 31 and successful, living out of state. She fears that if she makes this change he will think she is drinking again and making a reckless decision. It could be very bad at that point for her.

All of her major life decisions until now were made using the help of alcohol. One of her biggest fears is that her family won't believe she is making this decision sober, and that is a huge problem.

The way her family sees it, she has a perfect life. Her 80 year old husband sleeps in another room and provides all the monetary support she needs. That is all the they see. They don't understand that a human being needs more.

With me, she has affection, real love, a lot less money, but the love and devotion she has always needed, and the intimacy we all need. Hell, that old man has never even kissed her in 13 years.

All she wants is a normal, loving relationship, but she has made nothing but bad decisions based on self-medication until now. She has never made a major life decision stone cold sober, and she intends to stay that way.

The fear she has, she sincerely believes is the result of bipolar. I think it is as well . Whether or not this is actually true is irrelevant at this point. The fear of change has her paralyzed and in tears.

How do you conquer this terrible fear?

With the help of a therapist and time, maybe anxiety meds.

Why should she change? If her h is 80, she only has to hold out a little while longer. Then she can have you and not be poor. Win win.

Not to be morbid or anything, but that's what I was thinking.