My manic month

Moose72 · Today at 11:39 AM

A couple months ago I was manic and racked up my credit card so high that I’m unable to pay it off in one month. I can only pay so much a month because of my regular bills. I feel terrible that I was manic a whole month and racked up to much debt. I get my bipolar study money next month and I’m going to put that toward the payment. I feel remorse and guilt and anxiety. I usually run a tight ship with my bills. I’m not using that card but recurring charges show up on it that happen every month. I’m not using that card anymore. My mom has my other credit card so I can’t use it. It used to be attached to my starbucks account but I removed the card and deleted the app and my starbucks account altogether! It was just too easy to hit reload and go there every day. Luckily that card balance is now zero! Is this the regret that follows mania?

raspberrytorte · Today at 02:59 PM

I've never racked up any debt while manic and most of my hypo episodes have been benign (as in I didn't get into any trouble), but during the worst manic episode of my life I literally lost everything in a single action (that was acted upon out of rage).

I don't feel regret about it because I was REALLY manic and psychotic and not myself at the time. I DO feel guilty despite that though, even if I know I shouldn't. I felt like a monster for quite a while after the event.

But we have to look at it this way - WE WEREN'T OURSELVES AT THE TIME.

Sure, some actions are controllable. I'm not saying they're not, but we really were out of our minds. Out of control.

So try not to feel bad and just move forward. Take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again (like maybe once your credit debt is paid off cancel that card and just keep the one your mom has so you can only use it in emergency situations, in case you get manic again).

🫂 ❤️

MuddyBoots · Today at 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

But we have to look at it this way - WE WEREN'T OURSELVES AT THE TIME.

^^This

Mania (and psychosis) happens, and part of that is being impulsive and doing things out of character without an ounce of taking consequences into mind. We just gotta heal from the episode and learn from it what to look out for and what to do/not to do when things start heading south again. Using this, maybe we can skillfully avoid making the same mistakes, cut an episode short, or prevent it all together.

Moose72 · Today at 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

^^This

Mania (and psychosis) happens, and part of that is being impulsive and doing things out of character without an ounce of taking consequences into mind. We just gotta heal from the episode and learn from it what to look out for and what to do/not to do when things start heading south again. Using this, maybe we can skillfully avoid making the same mistakes, cut an episode short, or prevent it all together.

I’m usually good at being intuitive and having good insight with my symptoms and Pdocs have praised me for this but this last six months I have zero clue!

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My manic month

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