Bipolar Check-in #83

Blue_Bird · Nov 02, 2024 at 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Are you feeling a little manic?

You've been doing an awful lot as of late!

It’s possible, I’m not sure though , but I keep adding stuff to my to do lists

Blue_Bird · Nov 02, 2024 at 01:27 PM

I feel like trash right now. Lack of sleep (a full night without any sleep) used to not affect me this much but I’m 30 now and combined with my meds it feels like I got ran over by a train.

I’m just laying on the couch right now trying to pass the time till I can take my night meds tonight and can go to bed. I keep adding stuff to my to do lists. I can’t really focus right now. I started having a panic attack earlier but I managed to stop it.
So tomorrow I have:
-Walk to the store and buy rest of essentials
-take the bus to the store and grocery shopping
-deep clean apartment (which has 9 separate things I need to do underneath that bullet point)
-take a shower
-Art 30 min

Blue_Bird · Nov 02, 2024 at 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Oh, man I had a day yesterday.

Possible trigger:

I tried an edible, and it messed me up good. I had a horrible severe panic attack that wouldn't stop, went on ages and ages, and NEVER EVER again! I thought I was going into pschosis, and I was dissociated the entire time as well. I thought I was dying.
It took hours for all the anxiety & panic to wear off.

This morning, I feel like a truck ran me over even though I slept for 10 hr. I'm just taking it easy today, skipping pilates and just relaxing.

That’s exactly how edibles affect me. I went through a phase 6 months ago where I started vaping THC and taking edibles for a few months. It pushed me into near psychosis and I felt like I was dying and it was a nightmare that never seemed to end. I stopped using any THC a few months ago and I don’t regret stopping. It made me a lot more unstable

Blueberrybook · Nov 02, 2024 at 01:45 PM

Yeah, I thought edibles were supposed to be relaxing. I did have times when I thought I was going to pass out, but that is definitely NOT relaxing. I've just been having a lot of anxiety & panic attacks lately, and my pdoc won't prescribe me anything but hydroxyzine for them, which doesn't help a bit.

Possible trigger:

I have a lot of expired Seroquel in sizes ranging from 100 mg to 400 mg. I think I'm going to start cutting some up into as close to 25 mg as I can get since the pdoc used to prescribe me 25 mg for severe anxiety but he no longer will? And I'm on pretty much exactly the same cocktail as I was on back then. Hopefully, I can find the 100 mg pills; they are easiest to partition out into 25 mg. I know I shouldn't but the pdoc does not want to start me back on clonazepam again saying it made me too forgetful.

I really, really hope after this election, I will be able to calm down but IDK if a certain someone wins?

Mountaindewed · 04:27 PM

I'm just going to not take the last 3 pills of the steroid. My cough and post nasal drip have been gone for 2 days and I'm really lethargic today. I was told to take what I could handle and I did pretty well.

I saw a bit of the news this morning and I felt a bit hopeful. I got groceries and I'm just hanging out now. But I should have gotten my coffee caffeinated this mornig.

I swear my room is haunted. Its 70 degrees in the house and my room is freezing. And its a big mess which is unlike me. I am OCD neat but I have stuff all over the floor and my bed today and my mom has complained twice about it.

I took a half hour stress nap. I feel better. I should eat something now I guess.

Crazy Hitch · Nov 02, 2024 at 02:46 PM

I’ve just put in an application for an air bnb over Christmas. Please hold thumbs that the owner accepts our application ☺️

Sunflower123 · Nov 02, 2024 at 03:06 PM

Two of the spots were benign and two were melanoma. All were removed. It’s not so surprising. I lived at the next door pool every summer growing up, went to Florida two weeks every year and had a boat the first 45 years of my life. I need to be more careful in future. I’m certain I’ll have to address this again.

I’m feeling a bit down today. Sad really. I guess it’s just a lot on my plate and mom’s declining cognitive function. Her psychiatrist took her off Wellbutrin. It’s been a tough adjustment. She doesn’t think clearly and gets easily confused and agitated.

The women who travel group that I’m a member of has a retreat in Bali in the fall that I’d like to go to and then 6 countries in 2026. Greece, Italy and the Swiss Alps is all I remember. I’d like to go to all.

I’m on a waitlist to get into Harness - a support group for women with mental illness that sometimes gets in the way of them living life.

I hope everybody has a peaceful evening.

raspberrytorte · Nov 02, 2024 at 04:41 PM

Possible trigger:

I don't normally drink, but I bought a small bottle of red wine for Halloween and only had one glass so I have some left. The rest is being saved for Tuesday night!

I think I'm going to cry if a certain individual wins on Tuesday. Last time this certain individual won it put me in a month long depression. I've been so wired and stressed and anxious as of late! I mean, I just took some seroquel to calm my *** down and it's not working, and that was an hour ago!!!

@Blueberrybook

Did you ask your psychiatrist if you can go back on prn seroquel because it helps you more than hydroxyzine? If you haven't, I'd ask. I mean, you already take seroquel anyway. And hydroxyzine sucks. Tell him you're having SEVERE panic attacks and anxiety and you NEED prn seroquel because hydroxyzine isn't strong enough.

Blueberrybook · Nov 02, 2024 at 04:50 PM

@raspberrytorte - I asked the pdoc for prn Seroquel a few months back, and he wouldn't prescribe it saying I already take 300 mg Seroquel at night and he doesn't want to add more. I see him again in 2 weeks; I will ask again then. There are times I wish I had not gotten off clonazepam.

@Sunflower123 Glad you had those spots removed. I had a mole removed recently that came back as intermediately abnormal, and I have to go back this coming week to have more removed to get all the abnormal margins taken care of. Can't say I'm looking forward to that.

raspberrytorte · Nov 02, 2024 at 04:53 PM

I've decided I don't like the way THC, edibles, the devil's lettuce, etc., makes me feel. I'm no longer going to partake in it. It makes my heart and throat feel tight, like I'm on the verge of having a panic attack.

raspberrytorte · Nov 02, 2024 at 04:58 PM

@Blueberrybook

Oh I see. That sucks. I don't see why just 25mg prn is adding that much more. I take 300mg scheduled and 100mg prn, but end up taking the prn everyday, especially as of late because I'm stressed out.

Get on your hands and knees and BEG him! I would. Lol.

Nammu · Nov 02, 2024 at 05:00 PM

Since adding the 25mg of seroquel back into my med box I’ve been getting the sleep I need. Today I was up after 8 hours of sleep but went back to bed after just two hours and didn’t get up until 2pm. It was glorious. For my breakfast at 3 pm I had a sweet potato and ham. I’m still not very sociable yet. Preferring to just watch tv or read to getting together with people. But I believe that will improve as I settle into a better sleep routine. I can’t believe I forgot to put the seroquel in my box! I honestly thought the med had pooped out already. Just three days now and what a difference. Sleep is so important.

Blue_Bird · Nov 02, 2024 at 05:07 PM

2 more hours till I can take my night meds then hopefully an hour or two after that I can fall asleep. Every little noise is making me paranoid while at the same time making me feel irrationally angry

Crazy Hitch · Nov 02, 2024 at 05:11 PM

The owner of the cottage accepted us staying there over Christmas! It’s a 5 minute walk to a swimming beach and a 5 minute drive to the next town that has all amenities. We’re allowed pets too so we’re taking our Labrador. It’s so perfect! 🤩

raspberrytorte · Nov 02, 2024 at 05:12 PM

@Blueberrybook

Hi! Sorry to bother you again, but clonazepam was making you forgetful? Have you tried any other benzos? Clonazepam turned me into a moron. So did alprazolam. I take diazepam now however - 30mg a day scheduled - and it hasn't affected my cognitive functions at all. I wanted my old psychiatrist to wean me off it because I knew I was going to get some ignoramus psychiatrist in the future who would take me off it in like a month or something, but he said no. He said my anxiety was severe and that I needed to be on a benzo.

Anyway, so maybe a different benzo wouldn't make you forgetful? Something to bring up at your appointment too?

Blueberrybook · Nov 02, 2024 at 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

@Blueberrybook

Oh I see. That sucks. I don't see why just 25mg prn is adding that much more. I take 300mg scheduled and 100mg prn, but end up taking the prn everyday, especially as of late because I'm stressed out.

Get on your hands and knees and BEG him! I would. Lol.

I don't see why he won't prescribe it again either. He prescribed it before but that was as I weaning off clonazepam, and at some point he stopped it, and I must have been at a point of having fewer panic attacks and less anxiety at the time. I have taken 400 mg Seroquel in the past though it was a previous pdoc who prescribed it. I dragged a bit more in the AM since that was all a night dose, but I'd take dragging a bit to panic attacks any day.

Blue_Bird · Nov 02, 2024 at 05:16 PM

I was on such a good routine with sleep for awhile. Idk how this happened. I didn’t even skip my meds which is what usually causes this , I took them. I promised myself I would never pull an all nighter again, it wasn’t really intentional though I just couldn’t calm down enough to sleep, I was feeling good and hyped up. I know it’s just one night but an entire 36 hours without sleep sucks and is so destabilizing mentally.

Blueberrybook · Nov 02, 2024 at 05:18 PM

@Blue_Bird
I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. Not sleeping is miserable.

Scooter9 · Nov 02, 2024 at 06:07 PM

Thanks everyone for your condolences. We're holding the funeral on Monday.

I'm sleeping 2-3 hours a night. This is becoming too much! I'm stopping the Rexulti. I'm really stressed because of everything and lack of sleep.

Just taking things one at a time.

JaneOnceMore · 07:36 PM

Another quiet day. I watched a comedy special and just chuckled a few times. I guess i'm finding it hard to laugh. Not much energy or hope.

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Bipolar Check-in #83

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Crazy Hitch ɘvlovƎ Member Since Nov 2013 Location: Australia Posts: 18,959 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.6k hugs given	Nov 02, 2024 at 02:46 PM #846 I’ve just put in an application for an air bnb over Christmas. Please hold thumbs that the owner accepts our application ☺️
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raspberrytorte Insert Smiley Face Member Since Mar 2015 Location: USA Posts: 6,203 9 8,850 hugs given	Nov 02, 2024 at 04:58 PM #851 @Blueberrybook Oh I see. That sucks. I don't see why just 25mg prn is adding that much more. I take 300mg scheduled and 100mg prn, but end up taking the prn everyday, especially as of late because I'm stressed out. Get on your hands and knees and BEG him! I would. Lol.
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 37,434 (SuperPoster!) 11 15k hugs given	Nov 02, 2024 at 05:07 PM #853 2 more hours till I can take my night meds then hopefully an hour or two after that I can fall asleep. Every little noise is making me paranoid while at the same time making me feel irrationally angry __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Crazy Hitch ɘvlovƎ Member Since Nov 2013 Location: Australia Posts: 18,959 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.6k hugs given	Nov 02, 2024 at 05:11 PM #854 The owner of the cottage accepted us staying there over Christmas! It’s a 5 minute walk to a swimming beach and a 5 minute drive to the next town that has all amenities. We’re allowed pets too so we’re taking our Labrador. It’s so perfect! 🤩
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Blueberrybook Grand Magnate Member Since Oct 2017 Location: La Porte, TX Posts: 3,907 7 468 hugs given	Nov 02, 2024 at 05:18 PM #858 @Blue_Bird I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. Not sleeping is miserable. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen
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JaneOnceMore Veteran Member Member Since Feb 2023 Location: Ontario; long-time member, just under other names Posts: 518 1 3,816 hugs given	Nov 02, 2024 at 06:37 PM #860 Another quiet day. I watched a comedy special and just chuckled a few times. I guess i'm finding it hard to laugh. Not much energy or hope. Last edited by JaneOnceMore; Nov 02, 2024 at 07:36 PM..
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