[Victoria'smom]

H has an interview for a building sub a job. We hope he gets. If that happens we no longer get EBT or SSI. We will get a copay Medicaid and still qualify for HUD so we'll be making a little bit more than 2x our current income after taxes. We signed up for the Fss program ahead of time so we can use that money for school and debts then save for a house. We need to make $74,450+ to qualify for the homeowners program.

That won't happen until after we both finish school. He's decided to go after educational leadership which means he'll go after his edD. This should take him 4 years to do. While he's doing that he's going to hopefully be a building sub. So he'll have 13 years in alternative education and 4 years in the public school system.

Me I've applied to two schools and got accepted so far into 1. If I get into both I'll do both part time so in 6 years I'll have both degrees and 8 years I'll have my master's. If I can add a minor to one degree I'll drop the other school. I'd really like to just do full time at one school but I need all 3 concentrates to be comfortable going after the masters or into the field. One school I have to take up through calc 3, the other school I have to become fluent in another language. So they both are going to be hard. But I can do this. If I can't pay for the second school I won't go there and stick to the computer science school. I need to get A's because I want to go to Georgia tech for my master's.

We have a lot of plans and 5 years to make it happen. Along with paying off debt, buying a home, and finishing school we want to help family out.

What if we fail we're taking a quarter of the take home pay and putting it in an able account. That's not a lot but should get us through until we can get back on assistance. My biggest worry is when we make over x amount and loose all assistance but by then we should be settled. I'm so excited this has been a long time coming.

[bizi]

WOW!!!!
Congratulations!!!!

Lots planned and I wish you best of luck in all that you are aiming for.
bizi

[Victoria'smom]

Thanks, He just left for his interview. It's not the grade level he wanted, he wanted upper high school level but was called back for middle school. Which he has worked with and as a sub it'll be okay as long as it's upper elementary and older. I'm hoping he gets it we spent the last of our money on his haircut. He has to walk a mile each way so that sucks. We are going to try to get a cheap bike for him then upgrade to an ebike later after paying for school, saving and paying back family. So in 6 or so months. He'll need new cloths too. For some reason he's missing all his dress cloths and dress cloths are expensive. Maybe Burlington will be cheaper. King size took our breath away at the prices. He lost his collection of ties too. So stressful. We'll need to borrow another $500 if he gets the job just to pay for a few things. He's not nerves but I am it's a big change.

[Victoria'smom]

So he has some stuff to do so we have time he starts next school year if he gets it.

[divine1966]

Is your husband a certified teacher? If not, he might want to do that first.

Educational leadership is competitive. When he’ll look for a job, he’ll compete against people who held certification and taught for many years before considering administrative position. I’d hate for him to waste years on an expensive degree that wouldn’t lead to a job.

But if he’s a certified teacher, he’d be better off looking for a teaching job. Nothing wrong with subbing but it absolutely wouldn’t compare to teaching experience. What did he teach in alternative education?

[Victoria'smom]

He doesn't have certification in this state. The school has a sub>teacher> administration track. They pay for certifications. It's $1k a week so $36k a year while he finishes his education. School costs $30k for the rest of his education. We're not adverse to moving. He wants to do sub because it gives him time after school for his school work. There are a ton of jobs available. He taught all types of subjects from History to English to electives and science. Private schools don't require teaching licenses. My niece is a teacher at a private school with just her bachelor's degree.

[divine1966]

Yes you are right, there are jobs available. Just not in administration. I’d be careful about getting administration degree. Those jobs hard to get. For the whole school of teachers there’s usually one principal and one assistant principal. Just a warning and please be careful about losing state assistance

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Yes you are right, there are jobs available. Just not in administration. I’d be careful about getting administration degree. Those jobs hard to get. For the whole school of teachers there’s usually one principal and one assistant principal. Just a warning and please be careful about losing state assistance

Yes, exactly. And administation is a very competitive position usually given to someone with a sterling resume (no telling job gaps). Also, don't forget that the pay teaching private school may not be as high as what you'd make teaching in a public school district (usually it tends not to be nearly as high from my understanding).

[Victoria'smom]

I'm not worried because even if he's "just" a teacher with a PhD will make enough to get off all assistance because of his volunteering he has no working gaps and excellent references. I'm really not concerned hopefully he gets building sub. If not he's looking at other education opportunities.

My degree costs $0-4k for the first 4 years and then about $4k for my master's degree. Again I'm not concerned. It can't really get that much worse. We got to try.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Victoria'smom

I'm not worried because even if he's "just" a teacher with a PhD will make enough to get off all assistance because of his volunteering he has no working gaps and excellent references. I'm really not concerned hopefully he gets building sub. If not he's looking at other education opportunities.

My degree costs $0-4k for the first 4 years and then about $4k for my master's degree. Again I'm not concerned. It can't really get that much worse. We got to try.

Am I missing something? Surely he doesn't think he can put his volunteer work under "Employment History" on his resume and expect to become an assistant prinicipal of a school! Sorry, no, those dishy admin jobs are going to go to teachers who have worked in the field as paid teachers with TEACHING CREDIENTALS since they were in their early 20s.

I too would caution losing his disability. Once you are paying for everything including and most importantly MEDICAL INSURANCE which they don't just give you with your job WITHOUT SUBSTANIAL DEDUCTIONS your husband's having to first pay for his insurance then the co-pays they heap on top of it (for example, I have to pay $25/PCP/pdoc visit, $40 per visit to a specialist, anywhere from rarely $5 but more often $10-20 per prescription monthly, YIKES! These things ADD up fast. Between taxes and heatlth insurance, nearly ONE-THIRD of H's salary is gone before we even see it in the bank. That SHOULD scare you to be CAREFUL of losing your benefits.

[Victoria'smom]

He's not going after administration. Right now he's going after building sub. To finish his degree and get a PhD. We have a plan. We're doing this right just at warp speed. He can open his own charter school with a PhD. Again we're doing this right just at warp speed. If it doesn't work out that's okay. We're not attached to the area if he gets a "big boy" job. We're use to living on less than $1k a month for 3 people. As long as he gets something that is $30-65k we'll be fine. Plus I'm going to be working in 2 years or less. I've run the numbers. It'll be okay. We're not looking for amazing. Honestly it's not a big deal. I don't know why you guys try to discourage. I mean have you lived off less than $1k a month as a family? You don't know his history, you don't have his resume you have no idea what he has or has not accomplished. Yes you know a very little about his struggles but only through me. He is leadership material. I fear you guys are ableist against your own disease. It's sad. We know it's not easy. Never said it was but we are smart and talented enough to do it. We have VR support, Fss support, and his therapists support, we live in a state that we can still get medical if he makes $106k not that he'll make that in the first 5 years. So we don't have to be worried until I start working. Again money is going into an able account if it all fails. We have support. Things get worse not better if we do not try. We have a 5 year time limit and a disabled adult to take care of. I don't understand why this is so controversial.

[Blueberrybook]

OK, it's a building sub job. But you'd still lose benefits if he got it, that's what you're saying.

Does the sub job come with benefits? Because if not, insurance is even more of a bugger than a significant deduction from your salary.

[Victoria'smom]

We don't loose medical until he make $106k. The job pays less than that. We'll have to pay up to 3% of my household income for medical. So no the job has no benefits but our state does. There are also jobs with amazing benefits at 25% of income.i do loose SSI, and EBT.

[divine1966]

One doesn’t need PhD or even masters (eventually you’d get it but not start) to be a teacher.

If your husband does not go after administration job, he doesn’t need administration degree.

In addition there are expedite programs where you are hired as a teacher immediately getting paid and pursue certification on a job. Fast and painless. Many colleges have those programs as well as things like Teach for America etc I speak from knowledge and experience not just making stuff up.

I most certainly am not an ableist. Quite the opposite or I’d not care enough to worry about your plans and your future.

I am in support of you trying to get ahead in life. My husband has a disability and life isn’t a picnic. I know that. I also lived in poverty as a single mom and in third world country so I have no illusions of how things are. I absolutely don’t discourage you to better yourself. I do discourage from pursuing PhDs without any solid reasons for it.

But getting ahead needs to be realistic and reasonable. You can live a good life without PhD and masters (many professional jobs do not require that). I also wouldn’t suggest anyone acquired advanced degrees in the field that don’t plan on working in. It’s typically a waste.

Now, bachelor in any field is useful. Anything beyond that is only useful if it’s absolutely required or you are wealthy. I’d really think hardabout administrative degree

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Yes, exactly. And administation is a very competitive position usually given to someone with a sterling resume (no telling job gaps). Also, don't forget that the pay teaching private school may not be as high as what you'd make teaching in a public school district (usually it tends not to be nearly as high from my understanding).

Yes. The pay is low in private schools but it’s not a bad idea if someone wants it as a start, teaching there due to religious affiliation or has a working spouse and other reasons.

They would hire with bachelor. No need for PhDs

[Victoria'smom]

I understand he doesn't Need it. But for teach America he needs a car and that's just not happening. It's not that expensive to get your PhD if done right so I have no idea why that would be a bad thing to do. It pays better, you're more educated, I don't see a downside other than 3 years it takes after the masters which is he gets this job ( or any job) he'll be able to complete by end of December. He's not going after administration now but it is in his long term plans.

This is realistic and reasonable. If it doesn't happen then fine. But for our goals, for Victoria, this needs to happen and fast. We can't/won't be able to live like this as we have a major deficit each month. We owe thousands of dollars to family and friends and it only getting worse. Our gas is about to be shut off. My parents already take care of my two sisters and they're in there mid 70s we need to step up and care for all of them in the next 5 years plus ourselves and Victoria. We have 5 years to get it together and we will. I'm not being unreasonable you have no ideas the mountains we have moved and this is just that a mountain to be moved. We need jobs for 2 years to get a home loan to leave section 8 and support Victoria in her endeavors. So 5 years off everything and graduate Fss. We need $2,500 for him to finish his degree. We need $1,200 for me to finish my BS degree. I'm not concerned about his plans as much as mine.

He's proven time and time again he can do this but it's not just on him. I lose SSI EBT we can always get back. But cash benefits aren't as easy to get back. When we move that's it for cash benefits. We have to support 5 house holds in one way or another. And you can't do that while struggling.

We will be able to do this. We have what we need to succeed. I'm less worried about mental health medications then the 5 medications that keep his heart going. He just got approval to see his heart Dr in a year. We can do this. I've done this with other people before. Ones a teacher, ones a manager at a job center, one is going after his MD, one is an activity director. Then there's Victoria who can make 100k out the gate but mental health got in the way. Now she's grown it's our time and we can do it.

[Victoria'smom]

So less than$4k could change our lives that's what is frustrating. Now my limits are more concrete. I need XYZ to succeed so it'll be harder for me to find something. I get my associates in about a year but that's only good enough for internships. I'm putting all my effort into getting my master's degree. Before looking for a job. I can if I work my butt off get my bachelor's in 2.5 years but I need great grades for my masters and yes I do need a masters degree for ux.

[raspberrytorte]

Can Victoria get a job to help out?

[Blueberrybook]

And I know all things are possible, but honestly, if your H was that much of a go-getter, volunteering that much, he would have gotten himself into the workforce ages ago and not stuff with volunteering. I know mental illness does crap to all sorts but for an extreme leader/go-getter, I have to wonder...? And how the h*ll can you make $106,000 before losing benefits? Mine were lost when H made over $40,000. and his teaching salary barely capped the $50,000s even WITH a Ph.D. Now he makes nearly $100,000 but I wouldn't say we a golden/worry free about finances in a low cost state. You need to examine the deductions for health insurance while teaching, the co-pays and the out-of-pocket costs....our out of pocket cost was $7000 before we could claim co-pays and that was leveling up on the insurance a tier! I had an emergency surgery that time that cost us $7000 straight out of pocket before we got some co-pays at 20% the cost on it, insurance paying the other 80%. Need a hosptialization for psych? You are looking at $1000 and up (I've had one $4000).

And if he wants to teach, go into STEM, you can take the classes during your teaching probationary year and still get paid (otherwise, you generally teach for free during your probationary year, even with an education degree, that was what my BIL had to do as a band teacher); that's what H did the STEM program. He had to pass a certification test: he did math 8-12 and science 8-12, taught while taking classes, mostly online(H's schooling, not the teaching of high schoolers, that was in person). And the $100,000 salary is not what he makes high school teaching, it's his job teaching as an assoc. prof at a state university (hopefully to receive his tenure in a year).

[Blueberrybook]

Not to mention, you seem to have a problem being home alone. What if Victoria moves out with a friend; she's an adult, you can't stop her. You seem to freak out when you're home alone for short periods of time, even if you're in public you admit you have a hard time. How will studying go for you then?

[Blue_Bird]

Have you discussed this plan with your psychiatrist?

I find it’s good to run these kinds of major decisions by my psychiatrist cause he can give me insight into whether what I’m doing is a bad idea and impulsive or whether it is a solid realistic plan.

It’s really risky cause if you mess up your benefits you’ll be back to square one and who knows how long it could take to get them back if they get taken away.

It’s good to get some outside insight from someone who knows you and your mental health I’ve had plans like this before and thankfully ran it by my psychiatrist first before making any decisions and he was able to give me insight that what I was doing was impulsive and likely to backfire on me.

Just be careful

[Blueberrybook]

Have you and your H actually SPOKEN to someone from the social security office? Not just relied on numbers whether they are posted on the SS website or not? Because you really really REALLY need to before your H takes this step and you lose benefits and subsidized housing. Each family’s circumstances are different. Is Victoria drawing SSI on her own or are you claiming her as a dependent? You need to speak to someone from the Ticket to Work office as well. Have either of you taken all these steps to the point of exhaustion? Best would be arranging an in person meeting; if you are scared of meeting with social security yourself I know they have knowledgeable advocates you can meet with.

[Victoria'smom]

Victoria is applying for assistance as her treatment team suggests. She tried vocational rehab and she couldn't do it. She has many illnesses that stop her. We're hopeful that one day she can.

Disabled Medicaid is 400% over poverty line which is $106k for a family of 3. And it's at 3% gross income for premium. He's always been a go getter, has volunteered for top companies. The risk to stability was to much when Victoria was younger plus honestly he didn't trust me alone (or with her.) the few times he did go out he came home to us playing hid and seek because I was improperly Medicated. Now she's an adult we can take risks. Again we need 1,700 for him to finish his classes for that license . But he didn't go after anything due to me and Victoria being so young. Plus we've found competency based learning.

I have great problems being alone but that's my problem not his. I have a problem even when Victoria is here again that's my problem. Has nothing to do with his ability to succeed. I'm going to be busy trying to complete my degree while he's away. Luckily his contact ends at 2:30 so he can still take me to my appointments once a month. My success does not interfere with his success. If I can't be successful that's fine.

[Victoria'smom]

@Blue_Bird I've talked extensively with my therapist and vocational rehab person about my plan. His team is new like a month new but is behind him doing this.

My team is worried about stress induced psychosis but they understand the difficulties we face. My team wants me to get a neropsych evaluation for other disorders I may have. Thinking ADHD and possibly other disorders. I'm informing him I start school the 16th. He knows I applied. They want me to do 1-2 classes at a time which I plan to do 10 classes a year for 3 years. Plus Coursera. I need to be busy while he's gone. I'm not sure my pdoc understands my anxiety around being alone or around unknown others.

[Victoria'smom]

As far as SSI we will let them know day 10. We know all the documents were on Fss so we will not loose housing for 5 years unless we graduate Fss. Victoria is not a dependent. Her stuff goes based on her income not ours. This is 3 years in the making. The plan is for us to graduate Fss. So we can take care of Victoria and others.