People hate you when you’re manic

Yup. There isn’t enough to do!

Friends in real life ignore me. even If your writing or calls even make any sense. That makes me feel unloved. But they’re just annoyed. And best of all I won’t sleep- again!

My therapist friend says I am exhibiting hypomanic behavior. I told him I don’t feel chipper and fun. I just want to cry.

I think its like the ignore function on this site. You cant assume anyone is annoyed. They are just doing self-care. This is truly setting a boundary. They arent telling you what you can or cannot DO - just WHERE you cannot GO - into their personal space. It doesnt mean they dont care. And just because people put me on ignore doesnt stop me from caring - just not in their space.

I didn’t mean here. I meant on the phone and texts with your friends and relatives.

It’s still relevant though. Sometimes people are at a loss of what they can do and at the risk of sounding like a broken record just stop because they realize they’re going nowhere faster.

I’m sorry. I don’t quite understand what you mean. My therapist friend of 20 plus years said I’m hypomanic and it’s okay- it happens. We talked about my psychosis and hypomania and hyper texting- all part of my bipolar. That helped a lot though I have to wonder why I’m ramped up crying instead of the fun hypomania where you just talk a lot and everybody thinks you’re the life of the party!

Yeah, hypomania unfortunately isn't always fun and games. Euphoria is a symptom, but it doesn't HAVE to be there. You can have mood lability or irritability in its place and still be "hypomanic" (which is actually more common and one of the reasons why episodes go misdiagnosed). If you're having some depressive features in there you could claim "mixed features" if that makes you more comfortable (it'd be treated similarly).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 I’m sorry. I don’t quite understand what you mean. My therapist friend of 20 plus years said I’m hypomanic and it’s okay- it happens. We talked about my psychosis and hypomania and hyper texting- all part of my bipolar. That helped a lot though I have to wonder why I’m ramped up crying instead of the fun hypomania where you just talk a lot and everybody thinks you’re the life of the party!

My last round of mania was like that; it wasn't fun AT ALL! It annoyed my family, and that upset me. I felt tired physically but couldn't sleep. I'd start projects but be too amped up to continue, the overspending caused fights with H about finances. NOTHING about it was fun at all, and I was glad to get back to relative stability that time around.

I don't know that you even still are hypomanic but full-blown manic already.
All I know is in that state, H would have carted me straight to the psych ER, especially if I wasn't sleeping because for me full blown psychosis with blackouts follows on its heels.

Be careful, defintely steer away from caffeine if you aren't already.

I had a Starbucks Frappuccino this morning - the kind that comes in a glass bottle that you buy at the grocery store. But if I go out for coffee- a habit I need to cut down on as over the last month I’ve maxed out one of my credit cards buying stupid ****- then I order decaf. Then I had my morning meds including 1 mg of Klonopin. Luckily I’m still in bed. I can so relate with feeling wide awake yet exhausted from lack of sleep. (Nothing to do with coffee.). That was me this whole week especially Sunday. I wake up at 3 or 4 after going to bed around 11 or 12. My therapist friend said he thinks I’m hypomanic because of all the texts I sent him yesterday but my Pdoc yesterday mentioned full-blown mania. My Pdoc is letting me keep trying the Vraylar 3 mg new dose to give it time to kick in. She doesn’t want me in the psych hospital unless absolutely necessary because they’ll change my meds and I’ve failed with so many meds over the last 20 years. We did that Genesight DNA test and Vraylar is in the green zone so it’s more likely to not have bad side effects. Of course I take cogentin and Ingrezza for side effects. I’m a mess without them. Anyway, my sister totally fed into my beliefs that I am a prophet and can hear God talking to me and can see angels. We talked for two and a half hours about it on the phone earlier this week! My pnurse was not happy to hear this.

I think I’ve been mixed for at least six weeks! It’s just gotten worse as the Vraylar 1.5 did nothing. Now I’m on 3 mg and I THINK it’s helping? Hard to tell when I’ve only been on it a week or so. If in two and a half weeks- the next time I see my pnurse - I’m not better, she’ll increase it to 4.5 mg.

Once I think God is talking to me, I am tipping over into psychosis, so it's tough. I hope the Vraylar helps. Was there any med you took in the past that helped some with liveable side effects, I mean sucky like weight gain or sleepiness but curbed the mania. I have found that different times on the same meds can be totally different for me, especially if I am not taking exactly the same dosages and same meds I took with that one. Could be worth a retry if the Vraylar doesn't work? And our body chemistry changes over time, especialy with women approaching menopause, and that could affect how you react to meds to my thinking.

Yeah, maybe there’s something you can tolerate short term just to bring you down a bit? I can’t tolerate antipsychotics but I’m taking Zyprexa for at least 8 weeks right now because it had the least shttty side effects of them all for me.

No. I have had to be taken off countless meds over the last 20 years until we’re at the point of what I’m on is it. We reviewed all my past meds and ruled them out one by one. We did the Genesight genetic testing and that eliminated even more meds. Luckily, Vraylar is in the green zone, meaning I should be able to take it without bad side effects. My Pdoc said she’ll up my Vraylar to 4.5 mg if need be. I see her in a couple weeks. I’m also on 100 Gabapentin. I will not take that new drug pnurse mentioned yesterday! It would give me urinary retention and reverse the progress I’ve made with my liver/liver enzymes. I do not was cirrhosis! We retried Depakote last year for a few days and again, my liver doctor said no way! There are warnings against Depakote and liver damage! I have a huge list of med allergies and most are psych drugs. I am eventually looking at ECT, honestly, but pnurse says we’re not there yet thank god.

Not entirely sure how effective ECT is with manic symptoms, but if you/ your pdoc find evidence to back it, I’d say go for it. If I were stuck in an episode (not rapid cycling but in an actual episode and told ECT can bring me out) I’d do it again in a heartbeat. No akathisia, no weight gain, no risk of liver or kidney failure, no prolonged qt intervals, no diabetes. So I need a ride to the treatments and can’t drive a few days a week annd get some headaches, and need a gps the other days, big whoop.

Yeah that’s the biggest obstacle for me and ECT: the many rides to and from that I’d need. That plus I have a feeling that my family won’t understand ECT and therefore won’t support me. As it is, I don’t like talking about my symptoms with my family because my mom negates everything I tell her and my sister feeds into the prophet abilities and hearing God talk to me! She says I have a gift and that she has it too!

Almost forgot…. Psych nurse practitioner also said I was dangerously close to full-blown mania. Maybe I still am? If she really thought that she'd stick me in the hospital, I think, except she’s afraid of what they’d do to my meds. I still have those thoughts that I'm a prophet but I guess I'm not doing anything about it besides telling people how and why. I’m not yelling it on the street corner, know what I mean? So, who knows. I see her again in three weeks to check on things.

Could you go IP just for the ECT? If you’re already at risk of going, you might as well go ahead of time with a plan and control. I know people who cant do the transport that do that until they get to the maintenance phase.

I saw a guy get ECT IP while I was also IP once. He returned very spacey and just kept walking circles around the dining room. I think my pnurse wants me to stay on Vraylar 3 mg for a couple more weeks before I see her again. I think she’s giving me the benefit of the doubt as she wants me on that other med but I just can’t consent to it! Not with urinary retention and liver damage as side effects right on the front page of the manufacturer’s website. She doesn’t want me to do ECT just yet as she says it’s a last resort.

I went to a friend’s house for a couple hours today and ate dinner and watched tv with her. We hadn’t seen each other in months. That was a nice distraction. I warned her ahead of time about my being hypo/manic and psychotic and she didn’t care one bit! She’s a good friend! Now I’m back home with my cat.

I'm glad your friend was a good break from everything you've got going on. Honestly, if I were you I'd go for the ECT over the new med. That's just me. I don't risk urinary retention or akathisia. Those two are a no go for me.

Have you ever tried clozapine? What color was it on your genesight test?

No I haven’t but I remember we ruled it out so it must’ve been red.

Oh, darn, that's a usually pretty effective "last resort" med that they're probably going to use more often now that they don't have to use the lab monitoring process (whatever it was called).

Yeah. I’m really at the end of the road especially since I refuse to take Cobenfy! My pnurse will probably be grumpy with me over that but I have good reasons to avoid it. Even my friend of 22 years looked it up and said steer clear!

Still hypomanic and spending too much but my pnurse is right! Singing in a choir (and music in general) gets rid of psychosis! I went to church this morning and sang from 8:45 to 1:00! It’s Holy Week next week and we are preparing lots of music for the extra services. I am having such a great time! My brain lights up like a Christmas tree when I sing! So many parts of the brain are used at once! And singing is almost back to what it was before the 5+ years of dysphonia that I saw a vocal therapist for- which I ended up quitting because it wasn’t helping! I spent all those years mourning the loss of my voice. As of this year- not including those five years- I’ve been singing in choirs for 40 years. When I had dysphonia that was a huge source of depression!

I lost tomorrow morning’s pills! They should be in a blister pack but it’s missing! I took one with me this morning to Starbucks before church so I wouldn’t take the klonopin before I drove to church. I’m so confused! Am I that out of it? Blister packs are supposed to be idiot proof.