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#526
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I'm so happy that i have a new friend! I'll call her "M." I'm so glad to move on from my one close neighbor who has been my only friend for twelve years. The relationship has gone sour. M is more of a "buddy" for adventures in the city, but that is still very worthwhile. She is somewhat limited intellectually, so we don't talk heart-to-heart or in any depth, but she is a good companion for ricochetting around the city on public transit.
I get tired of being the leader all the time on excursions with people. M takes the initiative and asks ME on adventures, and picks up the phone and calls ME. It's so nice not to be the only one pursuing the relationship. Today M was a HELP to me, as she knows the bus network BETTER than me even and plotted our route skillfully. I know the train network better than her tho. We had a ball on a bus ride that was so bizarre it was like an LSD trip. This city is surprisingly wild and crazy as Vancouver! She knew about a new swimming spot in the city and i hope we'll go once the hot weather hits. I'm really happy to have met someone as spontaneous as i am, who has time for me, is interested in urban adventures, has enough money to enjoy dining and shopping, and is a skilled public transit user. She's not capable of having an intimate deep conversation, but i can accept that, and it makes for a stress-free experience. I don't worry about her motivations or hidden agendas, because she is a no-nonsense practical uncomplicated person and that's got it's advantages. My recovery from my accident is bumpy but moving along. I've decided that legal action would just prolong the agony and wouldn't be worth the four-figure award it would likely result in. I have a particularly hard time changing gears from the active early days into the quiet at home and find myself unable to bear activities i used to enjoy. Tonight i had some beer which is highly unusual for me. It was the only thing i could think to do. I was irritable and was rude to the cashier at the convenience store and behaved aggressively, so my emotions are still all-over-the-place. I don't know if that will pass. I feel relaxed now. My sleep continues to be a problem, so that makes six months of insomnia. I am beginning to doubt that i will EVER sleep well again. I'm getting at least a short sleep every night tho so it is bearable. Just one more thing to get used to, i guess. |
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![]() Blueberrybook, LadyShadow
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#527
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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![]() Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow
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#528
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Feeling steadier today. I'll spend long quiet days inside in silence with my curtains closed re-organizing my home, which is a disaster. I'll get strong again. It's unfortunate that i'll miss the lovely early Summer June days we are having, but i'll get well for the height-of-Summer heat and swimming with M. I like M particularly because she doesn't trigger me. I feel affection, compassion, amusement, friendliness, warmth, and enthusiasm towards her.
She's so positive! She clearly loves her family and friends and people in general, and has nothing but endless praise for them, and gratitude to them. She's child-free like me and neither of us are interested in romance. She's a homeowner here in the building too. Her place is paid off. I think i like her so much BECAUSE of her disability, not IN SPITE of it. I have a disability too, and M is such a good example that one can be brave and have a meaningful, worthwhile life, despite steep challenges. I had short-sleep again, but short-sleep is better than no-sleep. Courage and faith, that's how i'll get thru this! |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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#529
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Its a sweater. Usually a pullover rather than cardigan. I dont know how they deal with cardigans.
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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#530
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My body is like "not today." Its been a double tylenol, zofran, pepcid, early pysch med kinda day and I haven't even eaten or drinken anything badly. And I am super tired and low in energy.
I tried ordering some groceries and I checked in with my shopper because I had a question and they were all like "let me see. I'm sure I can." Then the next message I got was "your shopping is done. Your shopper has logged off." Well **** you too buddy. I need to get chores done and take a shower but I kinda just want to lie in bed all day. I still don't have energy. I have dishes to do and recycylables to take out and I need to clean out the litter box and take a shower. Well the dishes and recyclables are done. I finally got in the shower. It was nice. I used chocolate scented body wash.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka Last edited by Mountaindewed; Jun 15, 2025 at 01:49 PM. |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte
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#531
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I forget what I did all day so far and it's 2pm. I didn't go to bed until like 3am.
I kinda know what I did. A lot of cleaning, and I read at the park and talked about re-reading books with some people many years after your first time. I'm at the library now, and I have a book in the holds section to take out in a bit. I put it on hold Friday online (they were closed), was busy yesterday (and it wasn't "ready" anyway) and got notified this morning it was ready, but haven't checked it out yet. So I started re-reading The Great Gatsby this morning after going to the park, and I'm already on pg 113/184, so I'm probably gonna stay here and read for another half hour/hour or so, take my book home and drop stuff off/get my grocery bag, and walk down to the close, stupid, expensive grocery store for a quick thing (or two, depending on how expensive the 2nd is). I've been really frustrated though with my phone because I think Apple Music is ****ing it up. If I'm listening to music while walking it'll randomly stop. If I'm talking to someone on the phone, even if I'm in a service zone, the call will drop and some random song will start playing. The other day I was talking to someone and then all of a sudden "**** Luck" by Modest Mouse of all songs came on (I opened all my apps and Music wasn't even there...I had to open it to close it) (but really, go look up that song, it's phenomenal, but be prepared for a surprise start). Oh, sometimes I'll be listening to music, it'll stop, and the little Siri circle opens waiting for me to say something even though I supposedly have Siri disabled. I've tried restarting the phone and having it off for 10-30 minutes a day, signing out and signing into everything, changing all these different settings based on what other people with similar problems have done, and I don't know. Haven't found the answer. Is it wrong of me to want to listen to Weather Song by Colourblind when I'm having a mental breakdown in a rainstorm while walking around just trying to see tomorrow?
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, LadyShadow, Mountaindewed, Nammu, raspberrytorte, unaluna
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![]() JaneOnceMore
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#532
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It’s a long sleeved top that you wear over tshirts etc … kind of like a hoodie but without the head over piece
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, unaluna
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#533
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Quote:
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow, MuddyBoots
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#534
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Oh my!
Last night I was up way past bedtime. I watched all three crocodile Dundee movies. I’d seen the first two and they are fun. Never knew there was a third. It started at bedtime though, and I decided to watch it. Pretty cheesy but lighthearted. So it was very late when I went to bed at 3:15 am by the time I turned the lights out,…it was 2:15 when I woke up! Gosh! That’s way too late. I hope I can get to sleep tonight! Totally messed up my sleep schedule. Then when I was on here something froze my iPad. Couldn’t get it to do anything. I finally powered it off and back on and it’s fine now. Tech! I hope everyone has a good day.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte
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![]() Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots
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#535
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Possible trigger:
Very nervous. Period 1 I teach a new Year 9 class and I’m not sure how they’re going to go. It could all go pear shaped. Period 2 I teach my awful Year 8s who have gone from 17 in the class to 26 in the class because they collapsed one Year 8 class and spread them out so I’m not sure how that’s going to go either. My back is so sore. Not sure if it’s from being sick or I’m just sitting funny. I’ve spent all morning blowing my nose now it seems clear. Hopefully it stays that way! |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, JaneOnceMore, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, unaluna
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#536
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Nammu - i will do that with like Scarface and other Al Pacino movies. I looooove him. I saw him in America Buffalo off-Broadway in the 80s, and he came in spitting, "F ralphie f ralphie!" And we were very near the front and i swear some spit landed on me and maybe thats why i never shower. Darn i should have captured his DNA!
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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![]() Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, Nammu
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#537
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@MuddyBoots Sorry about your phone messing up. I HATE when things like that happen with electronics. @Nammu - We watched all 3 of the Crocodile Dundee not that long ago, but not all 3 at one time! You have some dedication there! I didn't care as much for the 3rd movie either.
I'm having a lazy Sunday afternoon. I slept well, just over 8 hr and then took a walk/jog before going to pick up groceries at curbside. It was a large order, so it took awhile to bring everything in and put it away. I read with the SAD lamp and painted a mushroom. My painting is a bit rough because this is my first time painting watercolor with paint in tubes versus pressed in the tray so there is a little learning curve there. But I want to be able to use the tubes for easier mixing of colors on a palette and also preventing contamination of colors. After lunch, I got so tired, I laid down and napped for around an hour. Now I'm up I'll probably read a bit. I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday! ![]()
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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![]() Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, Nammu
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#538
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Cardigan
in British English noun 7th Earl of, title of James Thomas Brudenell. 1797–1868, British cavalry officer. He led the charge of the Light Brigade at Balaklava (1854) during the Crimean War |
![]() LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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#539
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Quote:
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, unaluna
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![]() Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, unaluna
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#540
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![]() A balaclava, to go with your cardigan. Oh nammu - we would be dangerous together. |
![]() Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore
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![]() Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Nammu
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#541
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I slept good last night. 8 hours. Just been a low key day. Did laundry in the morning.
Laid on the couch for an hour this afternoon with Mustachio laying on me while watching part of the Disney movie Moana. Will watch the rest of it tonight Also read for an hour today. Focus is pretty good today. Gonna read more tonight before bed. My friend got me some new shoes as a belated birthday gift. They’re the brand Vans. Excited about that. They arrive by Wednesday. I just took a shower. Really needed one. Hope you all are doing well!
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123
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![]() JaneOnceMore
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#542
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Speaking of sleep mine was AWFUL last night. I was tossing and turning between 1:00-3:00 wide awake thinking about my classes today. It was lousy sleep.
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, JaneOnceMore, June08, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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#543
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I decided **** my nutritionist. ED stuff
Possible trigger:
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123
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#544
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Had a wonderful day today! Went to mass and was very uncomfortable because the A/C wasn't working. We had a "rushed" mass, but it was still really good. I went and did my Legion of Mary visit with my fellow legionnaire, and they loved having us there. I then drove home and got the ice cream cake for my dad and drove over to my parents to celebrate Father's Day. My dad was so grateful, but after lunch and his ice cream cake, he went right to sleep! I even napped in the living room with him for a while!
I ended up coming home early and had a really good shower - I have been missing days sometimes, and I don't want that to be a habit. I NEED to shower every day, it's getting hotter, and it will be even more uncomfortable. But I had a really good day. @MuddyBoots - I hate when my phone does that with my Pandora - I usually just download the app again or go in and clear the "cache" within the app itself, sometimes that helps. @Nammu - I LOVe me some Crocodile Dundee! I hope you got your sleeping schedule straightened out. @unaluna - I LOVE me some Al Pacino too! I would have got a little bottle and captured his spit if I could! HAHA!! @Blueberrybook - nice painting today, glad you're having a nice lazy Sunday. @JaneOnceMore - So good to see you again! I am glad you made a friend! I am so jealous, I am trying really hard to make friends here. @Blue_Bird I am so glad you joined Letterboxd! I am going to PM you my information, add me on there! We can share movie reviews, what fun!
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Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123, unaluna
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![]() Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, JaneOnceMore, MuddyBoots, Nammu, unaluna
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#545
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Quote:
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__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123, unaluna
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![]() Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, LadyShadow, Sunflower123, unaluna
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#546
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Quote:
Possible trigger:
I see my pdoc tomorrow. I don’t even know if I’m going to show her any of the meals (or crafts to avoid meals lol), but if I ever have therapy again I might show her.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, LadyShadow, Nammu, raspberrytorte, unaluna, Victoria'smom
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#547
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Well I did have that gastric emptying test. At 4 hours 10% left is a healthy percentage - emptying effectively. At hour 4 my -% was 62%. I have significant gastroparesis - paralyzed stomach muscles which would explain the bloating, nausea, vomiting, pain etc. for years now. The next test will be of the small bowels to find out whether there is a mechanical reason for this such as a blockage. I may take medicine and move to a small particle diet (soups, smoothies and applesauce) - I hope. It’s too bad they start talking feeding tubes. No sir, I think not.
There has been a lot of rain here but when it’s sunny out I work on my butterfly garden or go float. When it’s raining, I sit back and read my favorite author James Patterson. I hope everyone has a peaceful week. ![]() |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, Crazy Hitch, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, unaluna
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#548
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Oh, I’m sorry sunflower. I hope they can find a solution or explanation that helps.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow, raspberrytorte
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow
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#549
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Ugh I feel so flat from the Thorazine and Lamictal increases
I keep thinking my meds are killing me
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, unaluna
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#550
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I might go to the hospital tonight
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, June08, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, unaluna, Victoria'smom
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Closed Thread |
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