[therealstacy]

I lost my job several months ago, which ended the most stressful period of my life. I'm slowly feeling myself again and don't feel the constant hyperviligance and anxiety that I felt before. During that time, I went through one of the worst manic periods of my life. The mania thankfully stopped before I lost my job.

Last week I told my psychiatrist that I feel "great" in that I feel free of the stressor. What I didn't tell him is that I still don't want to get out of bed. It's very difficult to do anything productive. All I want to do is eat and sleep to escape the feelings. Sometimes all I do is get out of bed, eat, and then go back to bed.

How can I feel good and depressed at the same time? Am I deluding myself into thinking I'm fine?

[Yaowen]

Your feelings make sense to me since I suffer from both anxiety and depression. Once during a period depression, I lost my only friend. This made my depression worse but put my anxiety through the roof. It also triggered panic attacks. Later I found another friend and my anxiety decreased. I also then had no more panic attacks. At the same time, my depression was still there.

Maybe it is like having a really bad headache and a really bad stomach ache. The headache goes away but one still has the stomach ache and so still feels bad. Maybe this is not a good analogy.

I am glad your hypervigilance and anxiety have deceased and sorry that you are still burdened with depression. I hope that you will be free of that too since it is a very heavy burden to bear. Wish I knew what to say to be helpful. And apologies if anything I have said has not been helpful. It is so hard to know what to say to someone who is suffering. My heart goes out to you!

[*Beth*]

Mixed state perhaps?

[therealstacy]

Originally Posted by Yaowen

Your feelings make sense to me since I suffer from both anxiety and depression. Once during a period depression, I lost my only friend. This made my depression worse but put my anxiety through the roof. It also triggered panic attacks. Later I found another friend and my anxiety decreased. I also then had no more panic attacks. At the same time, my depression was still there.

Maybe it is like having a really bad headache and a really bad stomach ache. The headache goes away but one still has the stomach ache and so still feels bad. Maybe this is not a good analogy.

I am glad your hypervigilance and anxiety have deceased and sorry that you are still burdened with depression. I hope that you will be free of that too since it is a very heavy burden to bear. Wish I knew what to say to be helpful. And apologies if anything I have said has not been helpful. It is so hard to know what to say to someone who is suffering. My heart goes out to you!

@Yaowen, it's good to hear that you made a new friend. That's not easy! I think what's confusing about my state is that I partially have depressive feelings and partially I feel OK.

@BethRags, that's a possibility. I'm not sure I feel good enough to qualify as being hypomanic though. I'm going to talk to my pdoc about the possibility of a mixed state..

[*Beth*]

I have had a similar experience many times.

Definitely talk with your doctor.

[Soupe du jour]

I agree with BethRags that it could be a mixed state. I have had similar mood states like you describe in the past. It can indeed seem strange and paradoxical.

Dr. James Phelps describes a similar situation using his wave theory. It shows situations where one could be elated but low energy, anxious though elated, depressed though high energy, and other combinations. I introduced his theory in a post at Is it a bipolar mixed episode, ultra rapid cycling, or just “mood lability”? – Bird Flight In it I provide a link to his website showing a more detailed wave chart. If interested. In his chart "intellect" is not referring to intelligence, but rather cognitive functioning. You can see that even that can be poor despite either stability or hypo/mania, when people otherwise expect it to be normal or high-level. Considering his theory, normal mood tracking tools can seem inadequate.

[Crazy Hitch]

Have a look at dysphoric mania

[therealstacy]

I read about dysphoric mania. I think that "dysphoric" is the best way to describe my state of mind. There's no mania, just a sense of feeling really good at times. Thanks for the suggestion, @Crazy Hitch!

[luvyrself]

It's called bipolar mixed states. Cut down on your stress. Do regular aerobic exercise. You can do this!