[MetalinMyHead]

I would like to try making a thread for myself to post to here, as I need/like.

Hi! I'm Metal! I named myself this one day when a metal band was playing in the bar below my apartment and it went on for 5 hours. lol I like metal, but not that much. I needed help and got a little support here.

Today, I'm feeling agitated/anxious/hypomanic, but also hopeful. And I want to share what's working for me:
- I try very hard to be productive and active every day. Even on depressed days, I try what I can. Sometimes that means I'm proud I brushed my teeth once in a day and ate a sandwich.
- To add to the above, I practice DBT's "mastery" as much as possible (which, I'm very scattered about hobbies and such - but I come back to things). This is where you work on things that are challenging, but you can become better at and master. I draw, paint, make crafts, cook and bake. It's like science-hacking myself. All those good-feeling chemicals really work when they work and I can't access them unless I try.
- I practice being kind to myself. I try to be better to myself than anyone was when I was a little girl! No one else will do it, so I can at least speak ok to myself. The difficult thing for me is the depression, when it comes, as well as the OCD. I have a lot of negative intrusive thoughts. It can be easy to let them consume my mood/feelings toward myself, but I say I "practice" because I've been practicing for so so long. A decade? It gets easier and works better as I go (sometimes by leaps I get better, other times it's slow or I slip back, but I keep trying).

Some ideas for the near future:
- Work toward cutting back caffeine (I'm starting with logging how much I consume).

What I'm struggling with:
- Not having benzos. I was taken off one for anxiety - had my last one in May 2025. :-( :-( :-( I was given another medication, but it brought on akathisia. I'm prone to it from my abilify. I did markedly better when I had the ativan in case my anxiety got out of control. I will talk to the new doctor about this.

Thanks for reading, y'all!

[bizi]

[Crazy Hitch]

Look forward to seeing you around the bipolar forum

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I wanted to welcome you and also let you know about our perimenopause thread. I remember you posting that you were having a hard time in the check-in thread. There is a group of us who are all around the same age and at varying stages of perimenopause. The thread is there, may need to scroll down a little.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

Gabapentin and vitamins B 6 / with a B-vitamin complex work well for me in ameliorating EPS, such as akathieia. Ability is notorious for causing akathieia, though in my case, it didn't do that but caused intolerable nausea instead. I wonder if your prescriber would be willing to have you experiment with Gabapentin for akathieia. By the way, some people take Gabapentin for anxiety.