Bad Week

This last week, I lost a coffee buddy (because he wanted me for "more than friends"- the one who wanted me to do drugs, too.... or, rather, encouraged me along.... So that's not entirely bad. However...

My boyfriend and I got into a huge fight Tuesday and we still haven't seen each other or talked on the phone since! Highly unusual. Started because I was feeling sad about my ex getting remarried in a month and buying a house with her.... but I didn't want to really discuss it with BF. This made him uncomfortable, I guess,l because he kept hugging me and asking me what was wrong and when I didn't seem better or want to talk, he told me to leave which only gave me something else to be upset about. It wasn't until this morning (or kinda yesterday morning) that he even sent me txt messages. He said he was still a bit angry and sad. Then he said he didn't want to talk about it because he was getting tearful at work. Later, he said he is unsure about a lot of things.... Now he says for me not to worry and seems a little calmer. I think he is going through a midlife crisis and between that and me being bipolar its hell!! I did the best I could and took myself out and distracted myself, but part of that meant buying myself DVDs and CDs.... going out to eat..... visiting with friends. Taking my kids out. Last night I talked with my 8 year old and that was nice.... we haven't just chatted about how she's doing in a while.....

Plus, my job "let me go" for a couple weeks because I sprained my back and they don't want to pay workers comp if I should hurt it worse at work (hurt it first time not at work) so until its fixed can't come back. One the one hand, I need the mental time to myself- and physical time to myself.... On the other hand, that's a lot of income lost. So I have to go to physical therapy but that doesn't start until beginning of May and that's when my dr's note says I can be out 'till. lol Dummies! Who knows how long the PT will take either. I could well be out until the end of the school year.

This morning, I was just a mess crying. Last night, too. Oh man. I just sobbed and sobbed. Listened to music. And now I can't sleep for the life of me! I have to be up at 6:30 to get the kids ready for school and here it is 2:30!!!!

That sucks Bipolar sucks I know it makes much harder then they have to be .Hang in there .

Hey - Trippin. Blah.... tired. Kids are dressed and hanging out until we have to leave in about an hour. I got about 3 hours of sleep. As soon as they're in school, I'm back in this bed!

I do the same thing, I buy CD's, DVD's and I go out to eat although I do not consider those things a...'distraction..' I consider it living life to the fullest......