[looking4sunshine]

Okay this is really hard to go into but I need some direction...I have recently not been feeling so well I have been having a rapid heart beat, a feeling of passing out/fainting, extreme exhaustion, not wanting to leave my house for fear of harm coming to me and my children, an obsession with my biggest fear death, migraines, short temper, lack of interest in life and the things I used to, disorientation, shakiness, easily startled, and not being able to sleep. Now this all has been on and off for years but recently it has gotten really bad. I think it has something to do with the fact we recently moved to a new state under serious misleading information, I was pregnant and we had our 3rd son via emergency c-section 2 months early and he has had major problems and been in and out of the hospital. My three year old disobeys a lot and doesn't talk very much and my 18 month old bangs his head in frustration. My hubby works 80+ hours a week and we are still having my family pay the cable/internet/phone bill and other things as well. I have been denied for health care through the state because he "makes too much"...I am under extreme stress and physically just feel I can't take anymore...I am only 24 and this seems a bit too much for me to handle, I want to love my children unconditionally but it seems they can't be good long enough for me to enjoy them...my hubby and I fornicate once every 2 weeks or so which limits our closeness...and I really just am tired of having my life be such an up-hill battle for happiness...I don't know if maybe I should seek treatment and if so what kind of diagnosis are my family and I looking at? I went for a start of treatment before but now my financial situation has gotten harder with 3 kids and limited help so even on a sliding scale I am unable to pay...please please any advice would help...if there is something I can do at home I would do it but I don't really see a light at the end of the tunnel

[unpredictable]

It sounds like many of your issues are stressed based. You have many stressors in your life. You can start at home by looking into stress managment books. Research online to find out which books are good and then go check them out at the local library so you don't have to buy anything.

Some clinics have free care if your income is low but those usually have longer waits to get an appointment. Just call up any place you can find and if they can't help they can probably point you in the right direction for places near you.

You also have this site for support.

If you do nothing else read about issues you think you may be having, especially the books that teach techniques to help.

[looking4sunshine]

Thank you so very much all insight is so appreciated