[Bellax3]

Do you ever feel like those around you attribute your every mood to being bipolar, and no longer take you seriously when you are genuinely upset or mad?

Only one friend knows about my moods, (not diagnosed for many reasons, mainly the fact that I don't want to be labeled and the thought of facing my moods head on scares the crapola out of me)
As I mentioned in the other thread, she was at my house the other night, and I had extreme hypomanic laughing fits, to the point where I left the room because I was literally on the floor, tears streaming down my face, hands and feet banging in hysterical laughter for absolutely no reason. And twice throughout that i felt like crying, and had to fight back tears. Afterward, I went into anger mode.
Today, my friend's crush who has been relentlessly and obviously leading her on, was extremely cruel to her, telling her "I don't date men" to the dismay of everyone who was convinced he really liked her. I wasn't there, but when I heared about it I was absolutely enraged. I've been in a stable mood today, so I was genuinely mad. Apparently she didn't want to tell me about it, and when she found out I knew she was mad at the person who told me, and was extremely rude to me when I tried to help. We usually stop in front of my class and talk until the bell rings, and today when I stopped in front of the room she said bye and kept walking. I was so mad at her because I was so worried and mad for her, only to have her treat me so rudely. On the bus I learned that several casual friends knew about it, but she didn't want me to know, and she was passing notes with a girl who doesn't even like her (and often talks about her) but she refused to let me see. When I tried telling her I was mad, she wouldn't even let me talk. I kept telling her to let me talk, and she wouldn't, so I raised my voice on the bus and yelled at her to listen to me. There were only a few kids left (all friends of ours) who of course went "Ouuuu" and she said "Oh, don't worry. She gets mad like that a lot. trust me, just ignore it." I was completely dismayed by that- she was completely invalidating my anger towards her because of my irritability. I was genuinely mad, not having an episode! She was being extremely rude to me, and refusing to let me talk, and then she completely invalidated my anger by saying to just ignore me because I "Get like that a lot". My response was "No, try NOT, you're completely wrong" and she cut me off mid sentence by turning around and talking to the other kids saying "Yeah, trust me. She gets pissy like that a lot, just ignore it" I couldn't believe my ears. The one person whom I ever trusted, and there she was, completely and blatantly invalidating me, even in front of other people. I said "no, you're wrong. I'm mad at you becasue you are being rude and a ******, not because of any other reason, so stfu!" and after a few minutes of silence, she tried talking to me like nothing ever happened. I don't even know what she said because I just kept interupting her saying "Okay. Okay. Whatever. Okay" in a "I don't care, just shut up" tone.
Her x-best friend was on the bus, last year she got fed up with her and stopped talking to her all together. After my friend got off the bus, she told me that she knows exactly how I feel because my friend did the same thing to her all the time, and she stopped talking to her because she was about to explode at her. She advised me to do the same- leave the friendship peacefully enough before I completely go off on her. I have no plans of even speaking to my friend tommorow. I feel so utterly betrade. I confided in her what I hide from the rest of the world, and now i feel like she thinks i'm incapable of having normal emotions. That if I'm mad, or sad, or whatever, that my feelings should just be ignored because my feelings don't matter- I don't matter, because I'm bipolar. how am I supposed to trust people if once they know, they are just going to write off any feeling I have as me just being crazy.

Sorry for the long rant.
Do your close friends/family ever just invalidate you and how you're feeling all together? Like it doesn't really matter?

[jbug]

I'm sorry that happened to you.

I know my mom does that sometimes to me. If I'm in a really good mood she will ask me if I'm manic and I'm like no I'm just in a really good mood. I think sometimes people do treat those of us chose few different but that is their problem not ours and although it hard not let it be our problem sometimes it is hard.

Jbug

[Bellax3]

Thanks for your reply. I find it so frustrating and demeaning. I didn't speak to her at all today, after the initial "okay" followed by plugging in my headphones when she tried to talk to me this morning. She ignored my cold shoulder, not bothering to talk to me about it, which just strengthened my anger, because its like she's just waiting for me to "get over my mood" and then on the bus I was suggesting to one of our friends that he should get his girlfriend (a huge twilight fan) a charm bracelet that is featured in the book for christmas, and add a charm with the first letter of his name, B. Then I said that it would be cute if he also added her letter, J.Put them together, and you get hysterical laughter. I was laughing so hard, and its been a while since I laughed like that without being hypo and either having a little voice in the back of my head telling me I'm embarrasing myself, or laughing because I feel like I have no other choice. She gave me a funny look, like almost saying "oh my god, is she going to do that on the bus!?" and the look on her face killed my joy thoroughly. I AM capable of having normal emotions, and when someone does something to make me mad, sad, etc, I should be listened to, not have my feelings ignored and written off as insignificant. I am a human being with real feelings, not a robot empty of everyhing except major PMS. She is (or was) my best friend, and the only person who I have confided in (and only partially) and she doesn't even get that.

[madisgram]

i've learned to be extremely cautious about telling "friends" about my being bipolar. too many people have shown me they do not understand this disorder and generalize all my actions on my condition. unlike cancer or some "seeable" illness i find bipolar or any other mental disorder is vastly misunderstood. it's based primarily on ignorance but it doesn't make me feel any better when a friend or family member overgeneralizes my mood or reaction to things. with a "norm" they would just chalk it up to my not agreeing, etc. with them.
so i am careful about divulging this info for the most part. as long as my disorder does not cause me to be completely out of order or even if it does, it's my perrogative about keeping it under-wraps. i am not being deceitful, just protective of "self".

[Bellax3]

Thanks, and I know exactly what you mean...This girl is the only person whom I've ever told-mistake number one I guess. Now, not only have my fears been confirmed as far as people knowing, but I probably just lost a friend in the process-An ex-friend who knows my biggest secret. . . At least now I know I'm not being totally unreasonable as far as my "people knowing about it" phobia goes.

[Berries]

I too am sorry that happened to you.
Heck yes you are capable of real feelings/emotions!!!!!
(I think all your feelings/emotions are "real" and deserving of validation and concern, actually. But I know what you mean & can relate to being blown off for "just having an episode or symptom")
And I also think it's your friend's problem--what the heck was going on with her and the way she was treating you probably didn't have anything really to do with you, she was upset and taking it out on you.
But that doesn't make it any easier to take, for you.
I hope you are feeling better by now.