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Member
Member Since Nov 2004
Location: Ontario
Posts: 146
19 |
#1
I've been feeling a bit wierd for few days now. Just not right, you know? My back has been hurting from work for the last three weeks and today I decided to go to the nurse because it wasn't getting any better and I've been waking up very stiff. So she gave me some ice and some ibuprophen. She keeps trying to say that my back pain is a carryover from a fall I had where I used to work, but it's not even in the same spot, and I keep telling her this. I don't know what she's trying to do, I feel like she's trying to trick me somehow. So she says I need to call my family doctor. If you've read my early posts you know I don't like to talk to my doctor at all and I have a hard time actually picking up the phone to call him. Right now I'm worried about other things than my back, and if I go to him with three things at once I'm sure he'll just act like its all in my head. She wrote down the humber on a piece of paper and told me to call right there. There were three other people in thre room besides us. I really didn't want to go to the doctor in the first place, I was just hoping the nurse could help me figure out what was wrong with my back and fix it so I could get to work. I'm still trying to get up the courage to talk to my doc about the mental/emotional problems I'm going through, and two months ago I found a lump in my mouth that's been growing ever since. Last night I realized it's grown quite a bit and I got scared. So I know I need to get it checked out too. But I'm afraid that if I tell my doctor about everything at once he'll think I'm a hypochondriac and won't treat me at all. So I just don't call. With doctors, its all a game, its all about them having the power. If you go in and tell them "I think this is what is wrong, because these are the symptoms" then they are automatically skeptical.
So while this nurse is badgering me to call my doctor saying if I don't get my back taken care of I might end up in a wheelchair and I'm trying to think of a simple way to explain this all to her without sounding loony I just start to cry. And I can't stop. I ask her if I can go and she says "Well, I can't make you stay." So I went out to the waiting room until I had my self under control enough to get to the hallway, and then I mad my way to the front door. At this point I didn't know what to do. I went out, I came back in, I stood there, and then I went to the payphone and called my best friend. He knows what is happening by now because he's seen me like this before. He told me that I need to go to the doctor. I know that, but I don't want to go alone. I don't know if I can do it, or if I'll ever make my self do it. I don't know what to do now. After I got off the phone with him I went to the locker room. I must have sat there for at least a half hour trying to stop crying. I just stared at the locker in front of me, and kept trying to dry my eyes with my sleeves. I thought if I could just get my self to stop crying I could get to work and no one would have to know. I stared at the lockers until I was in some sort of daze. I went over what the nurse had said in my head and I answered her out loud, without even meaning to. When I realized that first break was coming up and everyone would be upstairs soon I had to go. So I stood up and looked in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy and it was pretty obvious I'd just been bawling. So I gave up. I went and asked my foreman if I could take a personal day. I tried to not cry in the office. I felt so stupid. He let me go and I caught the bus home. Now I don't know what to do. I've stopped crying for the time being. I feel physically and mentally disgusting right now. I think I'm just going to go back to bed. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to call my doctor. I'm just totally lost and exhausted. I just keep telling my self that this is not forever, this is just today. I hope tomorrow I am better and I can get back to work. __________________ yesterdaytodaytomorrow |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: PA USA
Posts: 7,878
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#2
Sweetie going to the Dr. is never fun but this time you should so you can find out whats wrong with your back, plus he might refer you to a chiropractor, or tell him you want a MRI done this will help him find out what is wrong, let him check out your mouth if you found a lump it needs attention
You are worth it , please have it checked out Angie and the girls __________________ A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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