[Zen888]

Hi Everyone

I have hesitated writing about this topic since it is very close and dear to my heart. I am currently struggling to come to terms with my non-existent relationship with my brother whom is my only family (both parents are dead).

I have been in and out of hospitals and ERs since I was 23 years old. I am now 33 years old (I know I am a fossil!). I have stayed out of hospital for 2 solid years now.

In the past, it was my brother who took care of everything for me when I was hospitalized or went into the ER. Such as taking my dog to the kennel, cleaning my home, taking care of financial matters, school matters,...list goes on. He has even been called out of work and important meetings from the police and/or hospital when I have become ill (manic episodes...etc).

He has requested that he needs distance from me. He said he needed a year away from me. It's going on almost a year and a half now. He only seems to want to see me on holidays and act like we are astranged friends and not family. Last year he mentioned that we could get together for coffee...etc. I am sick and tired of being treated like an appointment in his schedule. All I ever get is one hour and then he has to go.

He says my mood swings are too much for me to deal with. And he recently told me that I have borderline personality disorder. Needless to say I am totally upset with him and very hurt. I asked my psychiatrist if he thought I had BPD and he said no.

The holiday dinners that my brother and I go to are family friends' dinners. I plan on not attending them this year since I have decided not to endure the emotional upheval of having to pretend to enjoy his company and visa versa. He has told me that he doesn't miss me and doesn't share the same affection that I once held for him.

He likes to travel the world alot. So for the meantime, I am acting like he is still on holiday somewhere.

Am I the only one here who has gone through this?

[Michah]

Not the same Zen as i am an only child but i have had many people leave me in the name of my "unpredictability" and have been told that I am downright frightening.........so be it.......

I divorced my mother when I was 21 as I was going to kill her at some point........we were destroying each other..........she got back in touch 5 years ago.......I am 35. Its hard sometimes but we both try and put the effort in.

Sorry thats all I can relate to with family.......My mother didn't even try to help me......she just said that I was genetically inferior and thats why I was so sick all the time.........and that my mental illness was hypochondria........go figure.

I am sorry that your brother is behaving so distant.......it must be very painful.......he obviously doesn't know who he is missing out on!!

I hope he sees the light and realises how wonderful his sister is....

[Michah]

Originally Posted by paddym22

No Zen

Unfortunately your story is very familiar. In my situation my family, my brothers, will not let me live in the same country as them. I want to move back home to my country but they forbid me to live there as I am too difficult and embarrassing for them. It is very painful, I feel so lonely and cut off.

It gets very distressing. I am sorry you have to endure this, I really am, as I know the pain it must cause you to be rejected by your own blood relative.

OMG paddy!!! Are you serious? Can you come back and not let them know you are home? You should not be exiled from your own country!! My gosh, what is the world coming too?

Just me.......but i would say get nicked!! I can do what I bloody well want.!!

Sorry, thats just really sad...... You are too precious for them.

[lou99pop]

I thought I was only one but relieved when I read your story. I moved away from my country and my family due to illness (they still don't know anything about me at all)and they don't want to have anything do with me at all except of my younger sister. She had just found out about my illness about two years ago through a policewoman who had called her when I was under section, she was shocked to learn the news. She was very angry with me for not telling her everything, I couldn't cos she is younger than me and didn't feel right to tell her about my problems also too many stigmas and narrow minds in my family which is another reason why I left the country.