[cajunwmn]

I am newly dating/friends with an individual that is diagnosed w/Rapid-Cycling Bipolar d/o many years ago. It was disclosed to me the second date and I feel "everyone has something". There are also a few addictions intertwined that are "sustaining works in progress" and doing exceptional for years (ex: alcoholism (AA), eating d/o, gambling addiction). In the past month stating "I need to get to the hospital because my meds aren't working right". During this time I noticed a very mild manic episode (with some shopping/purchases included) and the past two weeks depression - listless, sleeping most of the day and night, only wanting to eat sweets/junk food, etc. I visited the hospital yesterday and no new meds yet but looks like the little shining light is dimmer than it has ever been - if that makes any sense.
My question is three-fold. First, I really like this person a great deal, we have fun, compatible, very at ease w/each other, seem to balance each other personality wise, strong attraction - then I get the feelings of being put-off every once in a while - when I addressed it I was told that its not me at all but the bipolar mind. I'm concerned how will it be/what I'm (I hate to say it this way, please don't judge me on this I'm only being honest) in store for? Second, this person is VERY med sensitive - is it uncommon for meds to work, then not to work for a period of time, what could cause that? Third, has anyone had any success with particular psychotherapies/treatment that work with rapid-cycling type bipolar?
Thank you

[Michah]

Hi there, I also told my current partner about my long mental health history on our first date. I was dx borderline personality disorder and schizoeffective 15 years ago and bipolar in 2007. I met my partner in 2003. You have every right to feel overwhelmed, frightened, unsure and just downright tired. I am sure my partner gets exhausted just watching me!

I will not lie......the maintenance and resolution of a mental illness is a big responsibility for the sufferer, the carer and family. I t sounds like you are at the intitial stages of your relationship so it can be daunting. But as I always say, you can't help who you fall in love with!! My partner took 7 months to really commit as I also have a son so he would be step dad. He took his time in courting me so it wasn't easy. I often wondered if i was wasting my time and he would never accept me for all that comes with my mind.

At the same time, your friend must love themselves first or be on that path or you will walk uphill. Thats the biggest lesson I learned. You have to look after yourself as well or you can get despondent, depressed and often suffer more than the person with the illness! My partner loves dirt bikes and mountain bikes and getting out and taking risks. Thats how he copes. I am housebound and do not go anywhere! It is not ideal but it will change eventually. He also responds well when I take my meds, go to my therapy appointments and look after myself. I mean we have hit potholes but that happens! A good sense of humour helps.

If you set your own personal boundaries, your partner having bipolar will not make a difference to how you feel about them. Honesty is also the key. Believe me, you will have many interesting experiences.......my partner sure has! Both good and bad.

Try and look past the future and concentrate on the moment........it will play out how its meant too........my partner has thought of leaving many times I am sure......but as he states with his great smile, he couldn't live without me!!

Good luck!.....