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Old 04-20-2021, 04:30 AM   #1
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Trig I wish no one could see me - rant

- please don't read this post if you may be triggered from talk about self harm, body image issues, or eating disorders! My thoughts have been very jumbled lately and I just want to get them out, no need to read through my rant <3

- fyi, I have not been professionally diagnosed with BDD and am not claiming I have it since from my understanding it isn't something you can self diagnose but I'm ranting about my body image issues which are obv similar to BDD. Apologies if this is the wrong forum.

I posted a rant not too long ago and I remember thinking I was at my worst then but I never imagined it would get this bad. I just want one day where I don't have to think about how I look. I want to be able to go in public and be happy and not try to hide from everyone's view. I want to be secure enough that I don't prevent myself from dating. Where I don't get embarrassed for liking someone because I'm too ugly. I wish I could rest my hands on my face without panicking because my face is too fat. I wish I could sit down without putting a blanket or pillow in my lap to hide as much of my body as I can. I wish I could enjoy food, eat in front of people, not hate how it makes my stomach feel heavy and disgusting and I want to cut it out. I want to see my body the way I see everyone else's, I want to know why mine looks so wrong to me. I wish I couldn't feel my body, so I could lye down on a bed without feeling it pressing against my skin. I wish I didn't have to cut myself so I only felt pain and not the gross feeling of my skin touching the bed. It's the only way I can sleep unless I wait until I'm too exhausted to stay awake. I don't want to do this anymore.
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Old 04-20-2021, 10:55 AM   #2
raging vortex
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Default Re: I wish no one could see me - rant

I wish I didn't have to shower
seriously, if their's one thing I hate about my body, it's how it looks naked

I dislike my skin though too. it's not as nice as other women I know
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:10 PM   #3
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Default Re: I wish no one could see me - rant

So Sorry that you're both struggling so much! Are you currentyly seeing a therapist or pdoc? i feel like that may Help a bit. You may even get an official diagnosis. Please do consider it. So Sorry about this. Stay Safe. Please do not give up. i think you're able to handle this. i Apologize for late reply. Sending many safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @snakeswithhats, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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