WonderSun

I’m not diagnosed as having BDD but not quite sure where this post belongs.

I’ve had issue with my body for as long as I can remember. My partner (also female) points out that I often wear mens clothes/trainers, sometimes even aftershave (feminine smelling ones). Anyway, it got me thinking about it and how actually I’ve had issues with my body forever. Maybe I should’ve been male, but, the idea of that happening now is terrifying. Because of all the abuse and pain I’ve suffered at the hands of men, I don’t ever wanna see another penis ever again, let alone have my own. How triggering that would be!!!

I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say here, I just don’t feel like I’m right in my own skin. If I could rip it off and start again, I would. My body is super sensitive to even the lightest touch, hypersensitive I guess. My boobs if ever caught on something (even accidentally), makes me flinch and cower. I often just want to hide up into a ball, hide who or what I am. Because honestly, I have absolutely no idea. Outside of all the pain endured, I don’t know who I am.

All I do know is that I’m not happy in my own skin! With where I am now… feels very lost and very alone.

Yaowen

What heavy burdens have been placed on you! So heartbreaking that you have to go through life with so much misery and pain. I don't know much about BDD or even psychology in general or I would share anything that might be helpful with you. Hopefully others here with more knowledge, experience and insight will see your post and respond to you with something truly helpful. Just awful that you are suffering!

Fuzzybear

I'm so sorry for your pain. Grrrr at the monsters who inflicted this pain.

I don't have any advice Sending safe hugs (sorry I don't have much more to offer right now. For me sometimes ''advice'' isn't particularly helpful anyway)

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WonderSun

Feels really heavy, pretty weight-bearing down on me, on my chest. When I think about it, I just get so wrapped up in it all. Could I really be trans and not even know?

FB, thank you The very idea of having my own male anatomy, whew that terrifies me. I couldn’t/cannot deal with that. But, equally find my own body/skin is triggering and hypersensitive to everything. My heightened sense of fear is ever growing right now with all that’s going on in the world, and in my body just generally.

I’m not sure I need advice really, just an outlet I think? Hidden questions with hidden meaning that keep circling my mind. Finding this difficult to uncover and equally hide from