[Phoenix1985]

Had an assessment with a psychiatrist today. It's confirmed - I have Bipolar
II (which I already knew) and mild Borderline Personality Disorder.

She's keeping me on the Epilim and Lexapro, but has ordered blood tests to
check my thyroid and liver function before possibly upping my Epilim dosage.
She also changed my Serenace (haloperidol) to Seroquel. Here's hoping it
works. Oh, and for some reason I need my GP to give me a referral for group
therapy.... strange.

[Michah]

Hi sweetie........good, dx is done. You are on the right path. Don't know much about group. I hated it and refused to do it except when I was in hospital and it was a requirement.

Yes, I have also been dx bipolar II and borderline........it can be overcome!!

Good luck .........keep us posted and let me know how you go with group, fascinating(some people really benefit from it, by the way. I am just very anti-social).

[Phoenix1985]

I like the Seroquel. I'm not lethargic and my head is 'quiet' now. Not sure if that's how I should describe it, but it fits lol.

[mlpHolmes]

Hi Phoenix!!!

Having THE Medical Dx can be a bit scary. However, bipolar is controlable when ppl take their medications!!! PPl are in control of their lives!!! How Exciting!!!!
There are many new medications out for Borderline Personality also! BPD uses the excellent skills & strategies of DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Strategies) that teach BPD's how to relate to other's, the world, & the circumstances that come up. This is what you may be practicing in Group Therapy - actually they are Wonderful Life Skills for anyone IMO!!!!
PC has a Certified Therapist, Rapunzel, who does a DBT Chat on Tues., mornings @ 10:30 (est), she & the Chat are excellent. I am on Seroquel also, DBT is a Gift IMO - with fantastic results!!!! Hope to meet you soon!
Holmes

[deacon85]

Hey,
I would like to thank in advance anyone who takes the time to respond to my questions.

A brief personal intro:
I have been involved in therapy for over 20 years without much success. My Psychiatrist gave me the news so many BPD patients receive I was bipolar. None of the meds helped and I masked my pain with alcohol, weed (my favorite) and others. In 1995, I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed ritalin to go along with the anti-depressant I was taking at the time. Honestly, I couldnt tell you which AD because Ive been on them all. However, ritalin was a life changer. In 4 years I was able to finish my degree, which was 14 years in the making, earn a second (with honors) and changed to a more professional career.

As it turned out my problems were/are far from over. Continued therapy for my depression all these years has been futile, nothing has worked. Recently I lost my job, my house, my one and only personaly relationship. I have had to move back in with my parents and seek treatment for strong suicidal thoughts. M second therapist in the last 3 months suggested my symptoms sound like BPD. With this one sentence I discovered hope. So many times before I have had this feeling only to be let down when my new meds failed to improve my mental state.

In the past month I have read 3 books and over 200 articles printed off the web about BPD. I feel like I know more about it than my therapist who is not trained in the disorder. So I find myself at the roadblock of wondering what my next step should be for moving forward as I still think about suicide and how much easier it would be. There are no doctors in my city who have experience with BPD or any I trust for that matter. Im at that juncture of committing everything I have left emotionally to treatment or go back to my old lifestyle.

My current med regiment includes wellbrutine 150mg, concerta 36mg, buspar 10mgx3, depakote 500mg and ambian 10mg. They took me off ritalin, the one medication which has worked for one of my symptoms. My Dr is not listening to me when I explain to him I need to be treated for BPD. I know myself better thann he ever will and feel I am very much in touch with my feelings (minus the rage episodes). Last week I requested a copy of my file to see exactly they are saying about me, but it will take two weeks to be available. Needless to say, my trust and patience with Drs is at a breaking point. Hence my first question.

Question 1:
What meds have help with BPD for persons with extreme rage/anger issues, major depression, adhd, inability to sleep, no interests in anything, no energy, no friends, trust issues with my Dr's, suicidal thoughts.......

I know each case/person is different and respond to treatment differently but I need some support emotionally and direction as to what my options are with treatment.

Question 2:
Can anyone tell me how much DBT costs and if anyone has been treated with DBT what was their expeience like? I know it would help me because I have very weak social skills. If I get cornered I come out fighting. When in a rage state I cant stop the words. This is what hs caused problems at work. I can suck it up for only so long, usually about 1-1.5 years before things fall apart. My mind will not let me forget even the slightest negative word. Therefore, I fear getting another job only to experience the same tragic end, letting everyone down who put their faith in me to perform.

Question 3:
Does anyone have a favorite book or publication which has helped them, and why/how?

I could go on and on about my frustrations with the system and how I feel let down. If anyone has had better luck, please feel free to share any advice you may have.

Thanks again for your time and consideration, Deacon85

[Phoenix1985]

Originally Posted by deacon85

Question 1:
What meds have help with BPD for persons with extreme rage/anger issues, major depression, adhd, inability to sleep, no interests in anything, no energy, no friends, trust issues with my Dr's, suicidal thoughts.......

I know each case/person is different and respond to treatment differently but I need some support emotionally and direction as to what my options are with treatment.

Question 2:
Can anyone tell me how much DBT costs and if anyone has been treated with DBT what was their expeience like? I know it would help me because I have very weak social skills. If I get cornered I come out fighting. When in a rage state I cant stop the words. This is what hs caused problems at work. I can suck it up for only so long, usually about 1-1.5 years before things fall apart. My mind will not let me forget even the slightest negative word. Therefore, I fear getting another job only to experience the same tragic end, letting everyone down who put their faith in me to perform.

Question 3:
Does anyone have a favorite book or publication which has helped them, and why/how?

I could go on and on about my frustrations with the system and how I feel let down. If anyone has had better luck, please feel free to share any advice you may have.

Thanks again for your time and consideration, Deacon85

Hi deacon85. Sorry to hear you have had such a hard time.

QUESTION 1:
I don't have extreme rage/anger, but I find my anti-psychotic helps to keep me calm. The first one I tried was Haldol, my Mum pointed out that i'm much calmer on it however I was too lethargic with it. I'm currently on Seroquel trying to get to an appropriate dosage, but I'm sure it also has a calming effect on me. Seroquel was prescribed to me for anxiety, sleeping problems and paranoia.
I have found Lexapro to be awesome for my bipolar depression - I too get suicidal and never want to go off it because that's where I end up. Has your doctor tried giving you an anti-depressent and a mood stabiliser?

QUESTION 2:
I'm sorry but I can't help with information about DBT. Am having trouble getting group therapy at the moment. But I THINK it has components of CBT in it, which here in Australia it's AU$300 per session without health insurance.

QUESTION 3:
I have heard of a book call Stop Walking on Eggshells on the BPD page of the disorders section of this site. It is supposed to be good. i haven't read it as I'm only new to BPD

I hope that was in some way helpful. Good luck and please keep in touch and let us know how you go. Hopefully having an idea of why you feel the way you do will help you.

[Phoenix1985]

The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
Randi Kreger

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger

The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Randi Kreger and James Paul Shirley

http://psychcentral.com/resources/Personality/

[Phoenix1985]

Originally Posted by mlpHolmes

Hi Phoenix!!!

Having THE Medical Dx can be a bit scary. However, bipolar is controlable when ppl take their medications!!! PPl are in control of their lives!!! How Exciting!!!!
There are many new medications out for Borderline Personality also! BPD uses the excellent skills & strategies of DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Strategies) that teach BPD's how to relate to other's, the world, & the circumstances that come up. This is what you may be practicing in Group Therapy - actually they are Wonderful Life Skills for anyone IMO!!!!
PC has a Certified Therapist, Rapunzel, who does a DBT Chat on Tues., mornings @ 10:30 (est), she & the Chat are excellent. I am on Seroquel also, DBT is a Gift IMO - with fantastic results!!!! Hope to meet you soon!
Holmes

I keep missing the support chats because I'm in Australia and can't work out the times lol.

[Michah]

Originally Posted by deacon85

Hey,
I would like to thank in advance anyone who takes the time to respond to my questions.

A brief personal intro:
I have been involved in therapy for over 20 years without much success. My Psychiatrist gave me the news so many BPD patients receive I was bipolarHave you been treated for Bipolar and which bipolar? 1, 2 or rapid cycling?. None of the meds helped and I masked my pain with alcohol, weed (my favorite)yes, was one of mine too! Very bad long term for psychosis, paranoia and depression. and others. In 1995, I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed ritalin to go along with the anti-depressant I was taking at the time. Honestly, I couldnt tell you which AD because Ive been on them all. However, ritalin was a life changer. In 4 years I was able to finish my degree,Excellent!! which was 14 years in the making, earn a second (with honors) and changed to a more professional career.

As it turned out my problems were/are far from over. Continued therapy for my depression all these years has been futile, nothing has worked. Recently I lost my job, my house, my one and only personaly relationship.Sorry to hear that. Everyone sounds like they are having such a tough time! My God I have had to move back in with my parents and seek treatment for strong suicidal thoughts. M second therapist in the last 3 months suggested my symptoms sound like BPD. With this one sentence I discovered hope. So many times before I have had this feeling only to be let down when my new meds failed to improve my mental state.Yes. BPD is hard to treat. One of the hardest of all mental illnesses because the landscape of this illness is so broad. Once you get the right treatment it will get easier. Have faith and be kind to yourself

In the past month I have read 3 books and over 200 articles printed off the web about BPD. I feel like I know more about it than my therapist who is not trained in the disorder. So I find myself at the roadblock of wondering what my next step should be for moving forward as I still think about suicide and how much easier it would be.easier, not better. You can do this!! You have to give yourself the best opportunity to live. Safety first. Get emergency help if you need it. we are with you!!! There are no doctors in my city who have experience with BPD or any I trust for that matter. Im at that juncture of committing everything I have left emotionally to treatment or go back to my old lifestyle.AAhhh the good old crossroads. I don't know what you can do about your geographical problem with competent shrinks but SOMETHING will change. It is there and you must keep working to find it. We have all been down this road in one way or another. Keep going!! You are doing well despite the hardship.

My current med regiment includes wellbrutine 150mg, concerta 36mg, buspar 10mgx3, depakote 500mg and ambian 10mg. They took me off ritalin, the one medication which has worked for one of my symptoms. My Dr is not listening to me when I explain to him I need to be treated for BPD. I know myself better thann he ever will and feel I am very much in touch with my feelings (minus the rage episodes). Last week I requested a copy of my file to see exactly they are saying about me, but it will take two weeks to be available. Needless to say, my trust and patience with Drs is at a breaking point. Hence my first question.

Question 1:
What meds have help with BPD for persons with extreme rage/anger issues, major depression, adhd, inability to sleep, no interests in anything, no energy, no friends, trust issues with my Dr's, suicidal thoughts.......Okay, anti-psychotics, like Phoenix said, are good for rage, anxiety and depression. Seroquel is excellent. This drug is also a mood stabiliser which can help. I was given lithium early in my dx because my mood swings were horrendous. This can sometimes be used as a last resort for BPD. The depression/suicidal thoughts I used an anti psychotic called Olanzapine/Zyprexa. You may put on weight with this drug so try Seroquel first. Trust issues with your doctor are normal, honey. That is a cognitive process and one that will be dealt with over time. BPD is notorious for feelings of vulnerability and hypervigilance. TELL your doctor that you are trying but you don't trust him/her. Let them respond and come up with a positive solution. Remember, THEY are working for YOU.

I know each case/person is different and respond to treatment differently but I need some support emotionally and direction as to what my options are with treatment. Absolutely, we are here.

Question 2:
Can anyone tell me how much DBT costs and if anyone has been treated with DBT what was their expeience like? I know it would help me because I have very weak social skills. If I get cornered I come out fighting. When in a rage state I cant stop the words. This is what hs caused problems at work. I can suck it up for only so long, usually about 1-1.5 years before things fall apart. My mind will not let me forget even the slightest negative word. Therefore, I fear getting another job only to experience the same tragic end, letting everyone down who put their faith in me to perform.
Aaahhh the borderline perfectionism, I suffer the same thing. I am not trying hard enough, I am not working hard enough, Everyone will think I am lazy/incompetent/unreliable. Sound familiar? I am exactly the same. Judging by what you have said, you are more than competent, you just need a rest right now so stop being so hard on yourself!. I have not had DBT. CBT was all that was available when I was dx 15 years ago but I have heard that DBT is very good for treating borderline. I do not know how much it costs. Can your general Practitioner point you in the right direction?
Question 3:
Does anyone have a favorite book or publication which has helped them, and why/how? "I hate you, don't leave me" by Jerold J Kreisman, MD and Hal Straus. It is my bible. It was the only book that I knew of that was half decent "back in my day". Clinical, therapeutic and factual. Excellent!

I could go on and on about my frustrations with the system and how I feel let down. If anyone has had better luck, please feel free to share any advice you may have.Most of us have had to go through terrible times with well-meaning but clueless shrinks. Some of them are just downright nasty and judgemental. I don't mean to sound patronising, but the right of passage for borderline and many other mental illnesses is to mine the earth till your fingers bleed to find the right therapist!. Just a personal view of mine. You will find the right one. Have faith. I am hard on my shrinks but they are just as hard on me and we have a equal and therapeutic relationship. They are intelligent and shrewd and push me to achieve the best I can do. Took me a while! I did have a good therapist when I was first dx for about 5 years. Man, she put up with a lot. I was very fortunate.

Thanks again for your time and consideration, Deacon85

No problems! You ARE not alone and you can ask as many questions as you like. We are here........

By the way, feel free to PM me if you like......

[Phoenix1985]

Not doing so well today.
Am starting to feel like I
can't cope. I hate this.
Can't talk to my T because
she has shut up shop since
I last saw her. That didn't
make me feel so great either.
Looking forward to tonights
dose of Seroquel. I want
my quiet mind back.

[mlpHolmes]

Dear Phoenix,

I am sorry you are having a hard, difficult day. Every Monday
there is a 11:00AM, BPD Chat & another @ 7:00PM. Would like to see you at BPD Chat tonight at 7PM (est). If you would like to talk or listen - I only want The Best for You. I read that you're familiar w/ CBT but not DBT. I could teach you DBT skills that you could apply to your life immediately.

***Also DBT Chat, Tues, 10:30AM -Hosted by an excellent certified therapist. Rapunzel teaches the DBT skills, & how you can apply them to your life.

Much Love,
Holmes