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Arrow Oct 03, 2009 at 05:38 AM
  #1
I like this description of BPD because it is more than just a list, and I suppose because I relate to it very much. Learning more about BPD has helped me slow down the processes and find words for what is going on.

When this diagnosis is offered, it isn't always offered as an explanation for how we relate to ourselves and others and the intense emotions that result.
It is a complex way of being, as one thing affects another..affects another. It is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed.
I feel so fortunate to have a psychotherapist who understands, accepts, and is kind and patient.

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from the site: http://www.borderlinedisorders.com/public.php

The symptoms of borderline patients are similar to those for which most people seek psychiatric help: depression, mood swings, the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol, or food as a means of trying to feel better; obsessions, phobias, feelings of emptiness and loneliness, inability to tolerate being alone.

In addition, these patients displayed great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; they were unusually impulsive, they fell in and out of love suddenly; they tended to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them. A consequence of all this was that they typically looked for help from a therapist and then suddenly quit in terrible disappointment and anger.

Underneath all these symptoms, therapists began to see in borderline people an inability to tolerate the levels of anxiety, frustration, rejection and loss that most people are able to put up with, an inability to soothe and comfort themselves when they become upset, and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, through action, of love and hate that most people are able to hold in check. What seems to be of central importance in the symptoms and difficulties mentioned above is that the hallmark of the "borderline" personality is great difficulty in holding on to a stable, consistent sense of one's self: "What am I?" these people ask. "My life is in chaos; sometimes I feel like I can do anything—other times I want to die because I feel so incompetent, helpless and loathsome. I'm a lot of different people instead of being just one person."

The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, suddenly quitting a job, withdrawing into isolation, failing.

Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others, only to reach their limit and suddenly fly into rageful reproaches, or they may curry favor through obedient submission only to rebel, out of the blue, in a tantrum.

Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety, guilt and self-loathing for which relief is sought at any cost—medicine, drugs, alcohol, overeating, suicide. Sadly, oddly, self-injury is discovered by many borderline people to provide faster relief than anything else—cutting or burning themselves stops the anxiety temporarily.

The effect upon others of all this trouble is profound: family members never know what to expect from their volatile child, siblings, or spouse, except they know they can expect trouble: suicide threats and attempts, self-inflicted injuries, outbursts of rage and recrimination, impulsive marriages, divorces, pregnancies and abortions; repeated starting and stopping of jobs and school careers, and a pervasive sense, on the part of the family, of being unable to help.
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Default Oct 03, 2009 at 06:23 AM
  #2
Thats me ....
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Default Oct 03, 2009 at 06:45 AM
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............................
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Default Oct 03, 2009 at 12:49 PM
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Very good description of me. I feel as though I try so hard. But, the chronic chaos in my life is maddening !

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Default Oct 03, 2009 at 07:04 PM
  #5
Me down to a T.
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Default Oct 03, 2009 at 07:38 PM
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Yea thats me too.......

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Default Oct 04, 2009 at 06:52 AM
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All of us
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Default Oct 05, 2009 at 05:04 AM
  #8
Whoa, Echoes, that IS good. Thank You! billieJ
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Default Oct 18, 2009 at 06:26 PM
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wow,and i thought it was just me. that's perfect. still can't believe there are others out there like me...

"it takes a whole lot of courage to completely be yourself"
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Default Oct 19, 2009 at 06:14 AM
  #10
Gosh Echoes this is so me .... I was diagnosed with it a couple of years ago but my current therapist doesn't like labels .... thank you for sharing this, it's good to know I'm not alone, though I obviously don't wish this on anyone either, I'm not very good at saying what I mean hugs to all who suffer with BPD

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Default Oct 19, 2009 at 06:40 AM
  #11
At last something I can show to my family and partner to explain the core essence of who and what I am. I am very grateful to you Echoes for this. Thank you so much.

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Default Oct 20, 2009 at 08:33 AM
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It's so odd how I'm fine calling myself unstable, but when someone else did, I immediately shunned them from my life. I'm relating to this diagnosis more and more over the year.
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Default Oct 27, 2009 at 11:08 AM
  #13
I was just told last week that I am bp. I am just as described above but not so exaggerated. Could I have been diagnosed incorrectly?
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Default Oct 27, 2009 at 03:04 PM
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OMG alot of this sounds like me!!!!

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Default Oct 27, 2009 at 03:53 PM
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does anyone know of any support groups out there. The mental health team are failing me big time
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Default Oct 27, 2009 at 09:25 PM
  #16
shellybelly, let them know that you feel this way rather than turning away. See if they can help you find a better way.

Or sometimes we end up in a type of therapy that isn't helpful. If you haven't researched types of therapies and therapists, you can do so here: www.guidetopsychology.com.

I was fortunate to finally find, after many years, a therapist who is psychodynamic/psychoanalytic and who specializes in bpd. She has a Masters degree in Early Childhood Development and is certified in analysis. This is what I was looking for after researching. I found her by contacting the psychoanalytic insititute near me and asking if they had any candidates (students) near me. They did, my T. She has been a therapist for 20 years. I'm so so lucky to have found her.

I hope you find what you need, sb.
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Default Nov 03, 2009 at 01:58 PM
  #17
Omg! Throw in some depression and a few other things an that sounds like how i've been my whole life! Each time i read it it jus sounds like me!
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Default Nov 03, 2009 at 02:26 PM
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i think i heard somewhere that bpd is similar to other mental health issues. Like c ptsd. I personally don't know cos i'm not an expert. I really have that name borderline. Its so negative.
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Default Nov 04, 2009 at 10:22 AM
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My t has indicated at times that i have BPD, but she has also said i have PTSD. The thing is, I don't fit the typical BPD pattern. I don't cut, rarely get angry, don't do drugs or get drunk. i don't threaten suicide, or feel suicidal very often. But i do have problems with my sense of self, pretty bad attachment problems, anxiety, dissociation, and black and white thinking. I've had emotional abuse and some SA in childhood. Do i sound like i fit more into a PTSD classification or C-PTSD?
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Default Nov 05, 2009 at 04:19 AM
  #20
larakeziah, I think depression is definitely a part of BPD. Life is frustrating and difficult and depression is a response to that.
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