[chrise]

Ive been chronicly suicidal for almost a year. I just started with a new therapist and he said it will eventually leave. I am having trouble coping. Can anyone relate?

[paddym22]

Yes so much so that they are now what my T calls automatic thoughts. Whenever a situation gets out of control or uncomfortable I would automatically think wouldnt it just be so much easier if.......So we worked really hard on them and now I can recognise them as an escape mechanism rather than actually really doing it. I used to keep the thoughts to myself but in therapy I learnt how to trust more and express myself in a less threatening manner so now I can talk to T when I am actively thinking that way and what triggered it, usually working on the trigger removes the need to think about suicide. It has got better for me and less consuming. I suppose a part of that has been acceptance of a situation and rather than panicking and reacting negatively just accepting and realising that I am reacting on my emotions and instead I need to take a step back and remove myself from the situation until I can regulate my emotions a bit better.

I dont know if that makes any sense, but it does get better at least it has for me.

Take care of yourself and keep posting it is really good to get these things out in the open and realise you are not on your own.

Paddy

[Michah]

Absolutely Chrise......can totally relate.....

And yes, good therapy will slowly resolve these intense and overwhelming feelings......

One day at a time......we are with you......you are not alone.

Take good care......and be very, very kind to yourself......

Hugs,

Michah

[Rapunzel]

Yes, it really does get better. It doesn't seem like it when you are stuck in the dark place, but it does. I was numb for many years, then frequently suicidal after that. It seemed like I had just gotten worse, especially to people around me, but it was actually the beginning of getting better. I couldn't live the non-life anymore. Something had to change. I had to change. Being suicidal isn't really wanting to be dead. It is wanting a different life, or not wanting to be stuck, or wanting something to be different in some important way. It means that we need to change something - ourselves, our routines, our environments, ... It's a wake up call. And when we start to wake up, we can start to live again, and things get better.

[opheliasorrow]

Yes it does get better. I speak from experience after trying to take my llife 2 years ago .... I'm well on the way to recovery thanks to therapy .. Paddym22 gave great advice .... You are never alone Chrise .... be well and sending you positivity and peace, Ophelia xx

Originally Posted by chrise

Ive been chronicly suicidal for almost a year. I just started with a new therapist and he said it will eventually leave. I am having trouble coping. Can anyone relate?

I can tell you from my sister it does get better , there is always hope.
Working with your T will help you lots as it did my sister.
Never give up and believe.

[Abby]

Chrise, i understand.

Originally Posted by paddym22

Yes so much so that they are now what my T calls automatic thoughts. Whenever a situation gets out of control or uncomfortable I would automatically think wouldnt it just be so much easier if.......So we worked really hard on them and now I can recognise them as an escape mechanism rather than actually really doing it.
I dont know if that makes any sense, but it does get better at least it has for me.

This is exactly what my suicidal thoughts are about. It is when the pain gets too much to cope with. I shut down most of the time in order to function but sometimes it seems like the only escape from the **PAIN**. I recognise what the images are, i fear one day i'll be too tired to resist them...but that is almost unimportant. Thank you so much for posting this paddy, i really appreciate it!!

Originally Posted by Rapunzel

I was numb for many years, then frequently suicidal after that. It seemed like I had just gotten worse, especially to people around me, but it was actually the beginning of getting better. I couldn't live the non-life anymore. Something had to change. I had to change. Being suicidal isn't really wanting to be dead. It is wanting a different life, or not wanting to be stuck, or wanting something to be different in some important way. It means that we need to change something - ourselves, our routines, our environments, ... It's a wake up call. And when we start to wake up, we can start to live again, and things get better.

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou Repunzel. Thanks just for being you. But thank you for also getting to something i'd never fully been able to put into words. This is exactly what happened to me all those years ago when i first joined this site. I was numb for so so long, and then the depression came and i understood something was wrong....but being able to feel has set off a tsunami of emotions that i still get overwhelmed with and sometimes, i have to admit, i wish with all my might i could go back to the numbness because i was a ghost but it was easier to live. But i understand i couldn't go on like that....people feel i'm much worse than i ever was too but honestly deep down i know i am one step further on because at least now that pain is able to be expressed....even if it is through suicidal thoughts. Next step - have courage. thank you for posting this, it really, really spoke to me.

Thankyou Chrise for posting about such a difficult subject, i'm really sorry to hear you are hurting so badly, but your courage to post about this subject has really helped me today.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( chrise ))))))))))))))))))

[ECHOES]

chrise,

I encourage you, as my therapist encouraged me during very dark times, to "Trust the Process".

I firmly believe that if you can be kind to yourself and allow yourself to trust the process of therapy, yes, you will feel much, much better in time.

[shezbut]

Chrise,

Interesting question .

I'm not as far along the recovery process as many wise ones here, but I'm consistently stuck in the negative automatic thoughts that Paddy referred to. I am working with both a psychologist and a DBT group weekly to gain a healthy way to work through my experiences and feelings.

It isn't automatic for me to work through my issues yet. A gradual work in progress. My slips are still very hard and painful, but I regain some sense of security sooner than I did before. The harder and longer I work, I presume, the more quickly I'll be relieved of my automatic thoughts.

Best wishes to you!
Shez