[bus156]

Hi, I am very new here too. I was swept off my feet by a woman with BPD,who said all the right things, did all the right things, and looked to be too good to be true.Like, she had been waiting for me her whole life, and we were destined to be together. What woman wouldn't want to hear that,? I did, ate it up!.. After a few mood swings, and me questioning her, she admitted to BPD, and said that she hadn't told me sooner because she didnt want to loose me. My mom has BPD, and for self preservation I have had to disconnect from her. 20+ years ago, I was involved with another woman with BPD, who almost killed me, my credit rating, my life, and my self esteem. God knows, I wasnt looking for this kinda heartache. When I said to her on New years that I was trying to deal with her moods, and that it was hard, she abruptly ended it, by hanging up, with a goodbye, goodluck and don't ever call me again. Earlier that day she'd been talking about finding a house for us thta would allow us to live together..Then BAM! it's over. I know I dodged a bullet, but it hurts so damn bad that I just want to cry. (and scream)
If I respect her demand of no contact she is gone, but if she comes back, I know she will do it again. I cannot believe how freakin much it hurts to be so taken in, and I dont believe that she is so unaware of what she is doing..

[shezbut]

((bus156))

Interesting (but sad ) that you've fallen into the pattern of becoming emotionally attached to ladies with BPD. I did read a very good book called The Stranger in the Mirror ~ written by a psychiatrist that specializes in treating BPD. He wrote it for basically everyone. Those in relationships (professional & personal) with BPD people, and the patient with BPD. It is a very interesting book. You may want to check it out of the library.

I'm sorry that you've been on the receiving end of the pain and confusion that those with BPD often cast. I am guilty of that same behavior that you've been hurt by. I hope that you're able to gain some understanding of the disorder and what you can do to protect yourself from being hurt more in the future.

Best wishes to you!

[drod]

you're not alone, I have been with my fiance,now Ex-fiance for 5+ years and i had no knowledge of or had ever heard of BPD, we broke up 3 months ago and i was devisated and hurt and crushed, We've had an unstable relationship, with a history of breaking up and getting back but somehow i thought we'd always be together, she asked me for time and space, and also no contact, and i know if i give her that time space and no contact i will lose her forever also, i dont know what to do, just letting you know you arent alone

Originally Posted by bus156

Hi, I am very new here too. I was swept off my feet by a woman with BPD,who said all the right things, did all the right things, and looked to be too good to be true.Like, she had been waiting for me her whole life, and we were destined to be together. What woman wouldn't want to hear that,? I did, ate it up!.. After a few mood swings, and me questioning her, she admitted to BPD, and said that she hadn't told me sooner because she didnt want to loose me. My mom has BPD, and for self preservation I have had to disconnect from her. 20+ years ago, I was involved with another woman with BPD, who almost killed me, my credit rating, my life, and my self esteem. God knows, I wasnt looking for this kinda heartache. When I said to her on New years that I was trying to deal with her moods, and that it was hard, she abruptly ended it, by hanging up, with a goodbye, goodluck and don't ever call me again. Earlier that day she'd been talking about finding a house for us thta would allow us to live together..Then BAM! it's over. I know I dodged a bullet, but it hurts so damn bad that I just want to cry. (and scream)
If I respect her demand of no contact she is gone, but if she comes back, I know she will do it again. I cannot believe how freakin much it hurts to be so taken in, and I dont believe that she is so unaware of what she is doing..

[drod]

youre not alone, i too have lost a fiance of 5+years, and am devisated, crushed and confused what to do, we have had an unstable relationship, a history of breaking up and getting back together, 90% of the time it was me who broke up, I never knew about BPD, or heard of it, but A mutual friend earllier this week told me she thinks my fiance has borderline. I have tried frantically and desperatally to reunit with her, I too was told by her to give her time and space, and no contact, i also feel that if i comply with that Ill lose her forever, even though she said contact is pushing her away farther, I feel im in a no win situation, all i can do at this point i guess is leave up to God, and pray... I do constantly for her return, She was the one who broke up this time, very much unwanted on my part,