we rarely ever feel safe enough to venture from the DD forums but lately our borderline tendencies are in hyper overdrive. has anyone ever experienced or taken action with impulsive actions? we just had a very bad episode tonight where we ended up pushing someone we cared about away because we were angry and jealous. most times we have pretty good control but it seems that control is slipping away lately and its really destroying us. can anyone here relate? thanks

[El-ahrairah]

Yea I would flip out on my bf over small things and it was really hard to control for reasons like being jealous and assuming things, this caused up to nearly break up. This was a while ago though. After some serious soul searching and time in my own feelings I talked to him and he reassured me of his intentions and I felt a lot better. Sometimes my emotions get out of control still but I try to just isolate myself and breath and think till I'm ready to talk to anyone. Or I go on here and vent.

[Perna]

There's nothing wrong with being angry and jealous! It works better in relationships to let someone know when you're angry and jealous rather than just going off on them with no warning but if one does push someone away, an apology and explanation of what one felt and why goes a long way to help the other person understand and come back close again.

I don't believe people mind that we're angry, jealous, etc. it's the unexpectedness and lack of explanation that frightens others off. The more one practices experiencing and naming one's emotions as they happen and keeping others informed as to what one is "like" the easier it is for others to stay around.

A lot of borderline behavior others don't care for is the suddenness and lack of explanation ever. Working with one's self to notice it too, when it happens, and link cause to effect and keep others informed makes one understandable as others experience the same feelings, just not so "out of the blue" where no one else has a clue what's happening. The trick is to try to keep in contact with the other while one gets in contact with one's self and works it all out, "out loud" with words rather than through actions/acting out the feelings with no explanation.

thanks for the helpful insight. usually we do try to explain in between all the apologies. and for the most part we are able to identify when its starting to happen now and are able to step back and try to calm down and work through it. but it can definitely be confusing and anger producing in the one on the receiving end especialy if it seems unprovoked and random. so now we need to apologize yet again and hope for the best. we appreciate your replies

[El-ahrairah]

Originally Posted by TrinityDancer

thanks for the helpful insight. usually we do try to explain in between all the apologies. and for the most part we are able to identify when its starting to happen now and are able to step back and try to calm down and work through it. but it can definitely be confusing and anger producing in the one on the receiving end especialy if it seems unprovoked and random. so now we need to apologize yet again and hope for the best. we appreciate your replies

it is my bf says im doing so much wrong but I don't even know what I'm doing wrong D:

[just2b]

Emotional Dysregulation!! I am either so far gone in a dissociative episode or state or I am angerily raging at 2 kids that have done nothing wrong! Yet again I have to apologize to a nine year old and two year old. Impulsive behavior has gotten me today, SI. then in an hour or two regret only to go back and start to think it was well deserved.

[phoenixangel]

Yes, it seems like in the last couple of years, especially since I disconnected from sociaty and quit my job my symtoms seem to be getting worse. The anger seems to be more apparent and when I am alone, I am REALLY alone other then all the repetivness going on in my head. And when my boyfriend and son are around which I long for I can't stand putting up with them. Just wanted to tell you I feel your confussion about your behavior.