Borderline disorder might take my/your life

Hey, i need to share this. Blood and tears, thats how i define borderline... i do have, but how do you know if you do? You need a professional to diagnose but sometimes, even after years in psichiatrist, hospitals and experts, they arent able to notice its about bordeline deal. Lots of people who suffers from it (like me) also are depressive, suicidals, do self injury, impulsive, agressive, has self identity disturbance, and a lot of other horrible disturbs. A lot of people like us kill themselves, or are in hospitals or in jails, .. every person reacts differently in some aspects... biggest concern for me is, people die at early age, and thats what i fear for myself and everyone in this conditions.

My impulsive behavior put my life in dangerous several times, not only the suicide attempts with pills, drugs cocktails, chemical intoxication but also a disgusting sexual addiction, putting myself in a vulnerable condition to STD or even AIDS. Thanks God i havent been affected for those even worst diseases, but time made my family go away from me.. i was treating them with so much violence, and there was reasons, i was adopted, rejected and had some negligence from parents.. even worst, a sexual abuse situation at age 8. Its not easy, life isnt pretty all the time. So dont blame our behavior, its not right but theres always a reason, i dont belive a child was created by God to do bad things,

By the grace of God i still alive.. life wasnt easy but cant complain, with all the hard stuff came maturity, better decisions, and finally breaking my silence. Why? Because i WANT TO LIVE!!! And also dont want to see other young people doing the same i did, somethings you can learn with others, and im here to embrace, and also to get support... from deep inside of my heart, God bless us..

Love,
Caroline

i feel the exact same only i am not violent..but i am very neglectful to myself and can be very self destructive if too emotionally distraught..there are reasons for everything...i am tired of just existing ,,i want to live too...it is people and sickness that cause pain in this world ,not god..we have free will

You sound so much like my daughter god i cry each night for her She has been abused so much by other physicall mentally. I hear also she does not have a long life expectancy from her doctors I am sorry you have been thru hell and back as well. I have had to let her go as well everyone tell me it is what she need to grow up.
I don't want to i want her home but her violence i don't know what todo I pray that she did not have all her mental illnesses i pray for all of you because i can see and hear the pain and i can't take it away i try but i can't I hope you find a kind therapist one who can guide thru all the confusion and turmoil YOu deserve kindness and peace not rejection. I wish i knew what to do for her take care okay just know i too wish people were more kind and understanding towards people with mental illnesses.

And im here to share and help... ithink people like us are more sensitive, and smarter too... lets share and helpe each other

First of all believe in God and be really patient.. borderline disorder is the biggest rate of suicide (sorry about my english)/.. yes, we are violent, but theres always a reason, dont think that even a simple parent divorce is a small deal. science says maybe is gentic , brain, social interactivity.. but ive tried so many treatments... but some kind of experience (for example taking pills like i did) is necessary when we have a suppportive group. im here for that. Im Caroline, my email is carolammanson@hotmail.com , im 24yo, im a law student, my life experience wasnt that perfect and thats why i can help people and get help too... Life is about that.. If u believe in Jesus ure going to see that love is the key and the start.. love, Caroline

To me, religion is another defense and a delusion.

Krol,

I completly agree with you on everything. You have summed BPD up so well. Peace to you and hope someday we can find healing.