[rosemariebird]

I love facebook, and I found a real good site in their called Borderline Personallity disorder. check it out,also found bpd support site in their too. like both of them. got my grandson to join them too. also anyone interested in knowing more on PTED. posttraumatic Embitterment disorder, i found a new site in their on it. I have gotten some great insite already from being in here, thank you all so much.

[Rachie]

Could you possibly post a link to the group? Thank you im also glad you have found a great support group

[Jetsfan69]

Yeah post a link to the group....

[rosemariebird]

how do i post a link to the group

[rosemariebird]

if your already in facebook, you can just type in understanding borderline personality disorder ,under search.

[sporty72]

Goodness, I didn't know there was a disorder called 'embitterment disorder' but know I look back on how I used to be and how my mother still is I can imagine it's well worth me finding out more about it.

[rosemariebird]

sporty72, yes, you can find on the internet under, Posttraumatic embitterment disorder, i believe my daughter has it, plus the bpd. its a rough road with her right now, she is in denial, even though she caused pain to everyone in the family. i just got the book on it, its so new but everyone will be hearing more on it in the coming year. do check it out.

[1924]

Can someone give me advice on dealing with my boyfriend who has bpd? I am really struggling right now.

[sunnygirl1uk]

I've joined a group offline for personality disorders and its the best thing that i could ever have done, i dont know how i would feel like if i didnt have joined it... plus i dont think i would join a facebook page because im private about my mental health problems and i dont wish everyone to know...but brave of the ones that have done!!!!!!!!!!

[celli]

Interesting stuff, this discussion of a continuum of dissociative symptoms. For years I was misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder and was convinced I had it, read everything I could on it, etc. My new psychiatrist, whom I found (or actually, my husband found for me) strongly disagreed with my previous diagnosis, saying that I lacked the diffuse identity experienced by people with BPD. That was sort of a relief, though it was also confusing after all the years of getting used to the idea that I *did* have a pervasive, almost-impossible-to-change set of behavior patterns ... but on the other hand I also had a marriage of more than 20 years' duration and a history of working my way up to jobs of increasing responsibility, neither of which would be common for people with BPD; they're just too volatile.

I do experience (and have in the past experienced to a distressing degree) some of the symptoms of BPD, including dysregulation of affect and help-harm, but it turns out these resulted from Attention Deficit Disorder combined with (and for many years, mostly masking) Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. I went through a lot as a child and in early adulthood and don't even want to get into it at the moment...

When I was diagnosed with ADD, medication had the initial effect of making me suddenly VERY alert to all the triggers I had previously been able to ignore due to ADD distractibility, and I had a real crisis -- I almost didn't make it and was eventually found permanently disabled by SSDI on the first round, no appeal. I would estimate I was dissociated most of the time for about five months -- would suddenly find myself doing things I had no memory of starting, etc. I am gradually getting a bit better, but I think I'm definitely out of the running as far as vicious corporate environments go. Even after almost two years of treatment, I am easily triggered and feel very panicky or furious, though I think I dissociate very seldom anymore. Of course, I guess I can't be sure, since my dissociation included long periods of amnesia. Grimly humorous ... maybe.

Anyhow, thanks to all who shared on this topic.

[celli]

Originally Posted by 1924

Can someone give me advice on dealing with my boyfriend who has bpd? I am really struggling right now.

Well, I was misdiagnosed with BPD for years and have read a lot about it. A couple of good resources are the book "Stop Walking of Eggshells," for people in a relationship with someone with BPD and the website for TARA, an organization committed to doing research on BPD so that more evidence-based treatments can be developed. Currently one of the best treatments is Dialectical Behavior Therapy ... and, darn it, I can't remember the other one, but I'm sure you'll find it and much more once you start to research this on the Internet. Look for scholarly articles rather than lay people's opinions; they tend to be more reliable, though lay people's articles can help by putting things into plain English once you've got the lay of the land.

Was your boyfriend diagnosed with BPD by a *psychiatrist"? If not, he should strongly consider getting a second opinion and a complete diagnostic interview with a shrink. BPD tends to be a "garbage can" diagnosis applied to clients whose therapists can't figure out how to help them. As the song goes, "it ain't necessarily so."

As for you, if you're trying to cope with someone who is volatile and up-and-down constantly, you might consider therapy too, for yourself. It might help you understand what the "payoff" for you is in trying to cope with such a tumultuous relationship (for instance, maybe it is similar to things you experienced earlier in life and are trying to resolve). Therapy might also strengthen your ability to set limits -- nicely -- and stick to them.

Good luck. Both my spouse and I have PTSD and things are still frequently quite rocky for us, though we are getting better with good treatment including weekly individual and family psychotherapy with a very experienced clinician -- he has 30 years' experience -- whom we're grateful to have found.