[BrokenNBeautiful]

Hello.

Ever since, on July 2, 2010, this psychiatrist at my medical facility referred me to a DBT clinic, I have been afraid to go back to the medical facility, even for medical care.

I had made an informal complaint about that psychiatrist possibly discriminating against me for having bpd, having not wanted to prescribe me meds on an ongoing basis. I am now fearful of retaliation by them, even though they acknowledged my complaint/concern.

See, last month, my medical dr. had arranged for me to see this pdoc there at the medical facility, and I understood that this pdoc would prescribe my meds.

Well, instead, July 2, the pdoc gave me one prescription, followed by a referral to a DBT clinic. She said that she "did not treat ongoing patients". I understood, from my medical dr. that she DID treat ongoing patients! I told her so and she denied it.

That is why I suspected discrimination when she turned me over to the DBT clinic, instead of giving me meds monthly.

Also, my roommate had been told that she would treat me.

(not to mention, the DBT clinic did not take me; I did not qualify for them; they wouldn't even say why!)

So I told the director of the medical clinic.

I have not yet followed up. I am afraid he will call me paranoid or get the "other side" of the story and not take me seriously.

I do need to follow up though, cause I really want to stay at the clinic for medical purposes, but I don't want to have to worry about discrimination against me for 1) having bpd and 2) complaining about possible discimination.

But I am not skilled at assertiveness.

I don't know how to effectively ask for what I want.

I do want medical care without discrimination. Not some dr. looking at my chart and saying, "Billi, you were referred to DBT" and wrinkling her nose at me.

I am bringing this up cause it is still an issue.

I want to go back, but I am so scared to.

I am screwing up my courage now to call the director to see exactly where I stand with them.

B.

[ECHOES]

I don't draw the same conclusions about your experiences, but then we are all different separate people.

I hope you can go back even though you have fears about it. The scenario you paint is created by your thoughts and fears. You won't know how it goes until you do go back.

You went to the pdoc for the pdoc's expertise and that is what she did; she advised you the way she feels is most helpful. She didn't do what your roommate said she would do or what you thought she should do; she did what she thought would be most helpful.

You note that you are not skilled at assertiveness. This might be something that DBT could help you develop so you can feel free to voice your opinions, your expectations, your disappointments while understanding that they are just that and not demands. It feels good to feel capable of being assertive. I am not often, but when I am it feels good.

Could you go back and let them know that the pdoc appointment didn't go the way you expected and see how that goes?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

I hope you can go back even though you have fears about it. The scenario you paint is created by your thoughts and fears. You won't know how it goes until you do go back.

You note that you are not skilled at assertiveness. This might be something that DBT could help you develop so you can feel free to voice your opinions, your expectations, your disappointments while understanding that they are just that and not demands. It feels good to feel capable of being assertive. I am not often, but when I am it feels good.

Like I said, I dont' qualify for the DBT clinic, for some reason that they wouldn't say. I am stuck without professional DBT.

However, as I have said numerous times here, I have logged onto a self-help site for DBT and also have joined an online DBT support group run by peers.

I am trying, I am.

Also, I did go back to the medical doctor. They can't help me with psychiatric, but I do have medical care now.

I have an apptment on the 10 with a psychiatrist at another clinic. I hope that goes well.

If that doesnt' work out, I will shop around for someone, even if I have to pay for it.

Billi