[*Flutterby*]

(First post). I am a young woman(21) who has been diagnosed with Bpd for a couple of years. I have lost many friendships and other relationships because of my lack of communications skills. I believe I have gotten to the point where its like being in someone elses mind and I'm trying to figure it all out and do some damage control. I can see the black and white thinking and other "errors in thinking" (C.B.T.) but it seems like I can not get the control over my thoughts that it seems like I should have by now. I'm really just looking to see if anyone else ever feels like this. I am getting lost trying sort out my mind and trying to make some sense out it.Amost like my mind were a wet puzzle with all the pieces but, they won't fit together right. Thanks for reading, I hope it makes sense!

[FooZe]

Hi Flutterby, welcome to Psych Central!

You're looking at some really interesting questions there. I have to run (like, five minutes ago!) so I won't have time till later to address them properly. Still...

Originally Posted by *Flutterby*

I have lost many friendships and other relationships because of my lack of communications skills.

Specifics aside, that's the sort of thing I used to think (constantly!) about myself and my situation. I'd find myself going in circles a lot, too, but it took me a long time to discover the connection. I might notice that I wasn't friends with everyone I wanted to be friends with; I might decide that my communications skills weren't what I wanted them to be; but the part that actually drove me crazy was my trying to fit the two together: that the one had to be happening because of the other. I didn't really know that, of course. It felt to me like one of those things that everyone else knows so if I was going to fit in, I'd better make myself know it too -- or at least act as if I did.

...it seems like I can not get the control over my thoughts that it seems like I should have by now.

My experience turned out to be that the more I tried to control my thoughts (and depended on being able to), the more my thoughts would run away with me. The one thought I was least able to control was... the thought that I should be controlling my thoughts. See where this is going?

What seems to have worked best for me has been learning to step back from my thoughts and let them go their way while I go mine.

More later, I hope.

[*Flutterby*]

Thanks Fool Zero , its nice to know that there is someone out there who understands what I'm going through. I do a lot of running around in my mind and it is what is driving me crazy. I will definantly TRY to let my thoughts go their way. Thank you so much for the advise!!!