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#1
Dec 08, 2010, 11:18 PM
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I'm listening to Radio Head I'm a creep. I feel like this song. What the hell am I doing here. I don't belong here. It makes me cry every time I here it.
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 kalisha36
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#2
Dec 09, 2010, 01:24 AM
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I am sorry that you can relate to this song...I luv the song! Partially cuz I feel that someone wrote it to help me deal with my emotions that I couldn't put to words!  I too at sometimes can cry, sometimes I am numb other times I just sink into a state of almost like laughing that someone stole my thoughts how silly ......Just wanted you to know your NOT alone!!!!!!!!! Kalisha
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it? |
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#3
Dec 09, 2010, 01:37 AM
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i like that song too. whenever i heard it in my car on the radio while driving, i got all depressed...
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#4
Dec 09, 2010, 01:39 AM
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if okay? Please know that we have a right to feel for the song's that hit our hearts!!!! Music man triggers me in the biggest way? Do any of you find that too? Sorry do not mean to hijack the thread Kalisha
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it? |
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#5
Dec 09, 2010, 01:41 AM
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music can really dig deep to my soul man, its like a language only our hearts can understand
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| kalisha36
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#6
Dec 09, 2010, 01:48 AM
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I seem to well beings that I deal with many disorders music can really change from one part to the other very fast and emotions can really change pace very fast. It can be hard! I like what you said though about music being a music only our hearts can understand, very, very true....Never quite heard it put that way 
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it? |
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#7
Dec 09, 2010, 02:05 AM
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yea it just came out of me! i thought it was very profound what i sad too. lol. sometimes i say something and im like wow that was awesome :P
then i read it over and over again, just to flatter myself... hehe |
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#8
Dec 09, 2010, 02:12 AM
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You go girl....Seriously was something really to think about............
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it? |
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#9
Dec 09, 2010, 02:16 AM
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exactly
 right on! :P welcome to PC by the way if you didnt see my post on your intro thread
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#10
Dec 09, 2010, 10:12 AM
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Yes! To say what we need to say! I sometimes wish we had a password for the bpd sites...I do feel like a creep often, and I think only we know what that means for us. To be able to talk about that completely freely would be nice. Hence, the need for penpals, right........
I have to be careful about music if I'm about to do something public. I am so influenced by the mood that my mood becomes congruent with it, regardless of what sort of energy I need to have and what sort of mood I need to have for the work/greeting/meeting that I am doing.... So good to hear from you all. |
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#11
Dec 09, 2010, 01:46 PM
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any way hugs Kalisha
__________________
the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it? |
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#12
Dec 09, 2010, 06:47 PM
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Wow! When I made this post I was just expressing how I felt and didn't think anyone else felt that way. I am really glad you guys responded. It makes me feel good that I'm not alone with my emotions. The more posts I read the more I realize I'm in the right place. Thank you all.
Kalisha, I like your signature quote it is very deep. bpd2, I know what you mean. I write things on here I wouldn't tell anybody, but I still don't say everything. It is nice to have someone who understands what I am going through and can relate. This really helps me deal with and understand better what I am going through. |
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#13
Dec 10, 2010, 12:16 AM
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I also cry when I hear that song. I'll admit, being a creep isn't the worst thing you could be, but I wish I was special.
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#14
Dec 10, 2010, 01:39 AM
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cluelessgluten: Isn't true that it's amazing how much we can all have in common? I almost get paranoid sometimes thinking am I writing to myself? But then I think I would be amazing to be writing all hours of the night lol!  I also sometimes hold back from writing too many things cuz I have seen that just some people do come in here and read and well they don't understand BPD but might be looking because they deal with people with BPD and kinda use what they read here to complain about what there significant other has done or is doing? Or what if I am way out there in left field? Yikes? The paranoia again lol...I am just glad that I finally started to post and come here.... everyone,Kalisha..
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it? |
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#15
Dec 10, 2010, 02:36 AM
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Yesssss. The paranoia. I definitely know all about that. Sometimes I get carried away and will be mad at someone for nothing. All because I got some crazy idea in my head that they're out to get me.
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| kalisha36
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#16
Dec 10, 2010, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
__________________
the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it? |
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#17
Dec 11, 2010, 10:54 AM
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Hey............extrules: We're ALL special! Dicha know!!!???
I myself usaually/actually only feel special, when I'm around people and getting their praise. Makes it hard when you feel like a creep!!!! But today? Yesterday? For at least a good month? I haven't been a creep. I've been having good days for a long stretch--at least a month, with no breaks, which is good even for someone "normal". Have I been special this last month? Naw....maybe off and on?.........and, I haven't been listening to much music. Watching a whole set of Lost though! (Is that as funny to you as it is to me??) |
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#18
Dec 11, 2010, 07:04 PM
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Bpd2
Just wanted to say WHOOT WHOOT that you have had a good stretch of feeling good That's awesome!!!!!!!! I say take it while its there..... I also share with you that I feel awesome too when people praise me, with or without music.....Hugs K
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it? |
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#19
Dec 12, 2010, 01:56 PM
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And isn't it scary to be riding high....because it just doesn't feel real after awhile...because we know who we really are.............
It's awful, but I also gotta laugh.........cause pretty soon, we'll feel like we don't know who we really are even!....And it gets so weird. And that's when we need us! HERE, at this place. A reminder that it won't last, that we will rise again. And probably in a couple of hours! The wonder is when a good, "normal" feeling stretches on.... I hope it is due to hard work, therapy, support of the people who love me (I think...LOL) |
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#20
Dec 12, 2010, 03:34 PM
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Totally agree...Scary is the best word to explain it....Knowing your going to come CRASHING down...UGH....
It's laughable...If you don't laugh ugh then it just turns into terrible frustration that get's us NO WHERE right? Sigh 
__________________
the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it? |
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#21
Dec 12, 2010, 05:20 PM
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Yes. For sure. So...even though we probably all learned to deflect with humor, it really does save us, too.....maybe something to do with the actual physical sensation, but maybe a "change of state"---Gus1234U said something about that in a post somewhere else, and I keep thinking about that...about how to DO that--create a change of state when I want to paint the world with the one I'm in....
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