[bpd2]

My husband and kids left at 7 am for a 5 1/2 hour drive. They should have arrived at their destination by 1 at the latest.

They're not there yet.

It's winter driving here--a winter weather warning.

The route they are driving is mostly two-lane, in isolated areas, on roads that wind up grades that follow rivers.

I don't know how long to wait until I do something about it. I know to wait at least another hour--until 2 our time, which is two hours later than their "outside" arrival time.

They are on their way to see my psychologist...about an every other six weeks' trip. He called about noon to ask if I'd heard. And he sent me an email about 8 AM telling me the weather was bad there. (I could have done without that email--there is no weather advisory warning popping up on my weather site...and all he did was alarm me....)

I sent him an email about an hour ago, asking if they were there. No response.....

I'm going to call him now.

My heart is beating so hard and fast I can hardly breathe.....

[bpd mess]

praying for your family's safety

[bpd2]

Thank you, bpd_mess! I read this while I waited, then I called. Had to call my psychologist twice, back to back, to get him to pick up. But he did pick up, even though he is in session even now with one of the kids........

Still, OK, now, I'm furious. They've been there an hour and a half, and my husband didn't call me, even though my doctor told him to do so.

I'm mad at them both: my doctor for worrying me with his emails and phone call (without them, I would have assumed the trip was fine--we've lived here all our lives, driven in all the regions' weather for years and years, etc.); and at my husband for not calling me, even though he was told to do so.

F...ing men!!! I am so angry. It's worse than the anxiety! Really. This just keeps building.

So....I have to distract............I'm going to watch TV.....episode after episode of Lost on DVD. Drink hot cocoa. Cuddle with my dogs....I'll light a few candles, too.

I'll be ok....I am just mad...sad is coming...so, I'm moving off to take care of me fast...nice candles, warm room, snoozing dogs....

[cluelessgluten]

BPD2. I'm glad your family is safe. It's not just men. My wife will tell me she going with her mom to Walmart. Midnight rolls around not home yet call no answer. Call again and again leave messages no responce. Finally she calls back from the casino. Where we live its not the weather that worries me. But I'm not supposed to be upset. But she gets mad when I leave cell phone home and me and the kids are out the movies. Well at least they are all right that's the good thing. Now What did she tell me the other day oh yea breath. Their OK and safe relax read a book and enjoy the peace and quit while it lasts

[bpd mess]

thankful they made it safe. and yes, anger is worse. it eats me alive. i just keep going over and over things in my head until i finally realize it and try to distract. i can't even watch the news anymore. hopefully you can calm down a little before your family gets home. Lost would be a good distraction. that was a great show. i'm hooked on Bones and Psych now.

[cluelessgluten]

I stick with sy fy history and discovery my self but I'm a nerd.

[bpd2]

I love Bones! And Dexter!

[cluelessgluten]

Is Dexter the show where he is a nerdy spy that had stuff downloaded into his brain. Ifso that on is cool to

[Yesterdays]

I don't blame you for being nervous, I know my reaction probably would have been similar. I am glad that your family is safe. Hope you're feeling a bit better.

[bpd mess]

so are you feeling better bpd2? did lost, hot cocoa and cuddling with your dogs help?

[Skully]

bpd you know you can call me I hope they made it safe and sound!

[Gus1234U]

way to Self-Soothe and Distract, BPD!! anyone would have felt as you did, it's got nothing to do with a "condition",,, fear is a natural response to danger~! {{{BIG HUGS}}} Gus

[bpd2]

Thank you all!

I'm OK...not mad, but still sad. I"ve been doing distracting: Still watching Lost--just finished the first disc of the 6th season....hope I don't stay up all night, compulsively finding out what happened NEXT???? AND THEN?????

The dogs have been great company. I wish the cats would come in with them, but they are still leery of the pups....I'm working on that. I really miss my cats.

Thank you all so much for thinking of me and being here. It matters. You matter.

Thank you.

[kalisha36]

I cannot for a second what you went thru....Your an amazing person really....Your staying as grounded as you did inspires me..Really. I read this last night even though I just couldn't respond and was thinking about you..I understand how these roads can get? Maybe NOT those specifically?? Anyhoo I was petting my Jack Russell and my big fat ginger cat and was like awee...I am glad everything worked out...My my tummy hurt for you....I just wanted you to know that your feelings as already said and I am sure you know, lol were totally justified...Take care you

[bpd2]

just wanted to say that I just got a beautiful call from my daughters--they still have their five-hour trip back today, with a stay-over half-way to visit my husband's family; so I am very glad to hear from them before they start that leg of their journey.

They love the snow, had/have no idea of the anxiety I'm feeling, no idea of my anger at their dad (and my therapist). They're excited about making snowmen tomorrow here, excited about the fudge I made this morning (at 6 AM, cause I couldn't sleep and got up at 4:30!!! LOL).

Tomorrow they get a day of rest, then on Tuesday, we all will play D and D--my husband is our DM.

I'm mixed state right now, rapid cycling kicking in, but I'm keeping busy, and reading--and eating tomato soup because there is solid research that eating tomato soup reduces how much food you eat after that. Isn't that wild???

The book I'm reading right now is about the Donner Party (research for another book I'm writing)...I chose it because it's such a serious winter here and I wanted to get into the imagination of it.....So far it's all historical about the time period, the politics, the day-to-day of wagon train life....It's oddly suspenseful to know what's coming...

Back out to shovel snow for the second time today....It's beautiful and it's the kind of situation that MAKES me exercise. THAT is helping me, I know.

Thank you all for thinking of me!