[Skully]

I am wondering if I may be borderline instead of bipolar II....could be both who knows? Here are the cirteria I met in the DSM:

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
2. identity disturbance: markedly and presistently unstable self image or sense of self
3. ipulisvity in at least two areas that are potentially self damaging (mine are spending and reckless driving)
4. affective instability due to marked reactivity of mood (irritability and anxiety usually lastin ga few hours and only rearely more than a few days)
5. Chronic feelings of emptiness
6. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulity controlling anger

You have to meet 5 of the 9 criteria listed in the DSM. I meet 6!

I get very angry a lot. Sometimes I go into blind rages and wreck everything. I cannot control my emotions hardly at all.

So, what do you guys think? How do I bring it up to my pdoc?

Originally Posted by Skully

I am wondering if I may be borderline instead of bipolar II....could be both who knows? Here are the cirteria I met in the DSM:

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
2. identity disturbance: markedly and presistently unstable self image or sense of self
3. ipulisvity in at least two areas that are potentially self damaging (mine are spending and reckless driving)
4. affective instability due to marked reactivity of mood (irritability and anxiety usually lastin ga few hours and only rearely more than a few days)
5. Chronic feelings of emptiness
6. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulity controlling anger

You have to meet 5 of the 9 criteria listed in the DSM. I meet 6!

I get very angry a lot. Sometimes I go into blind rages and wreck everything. I cannot control my emotions hardly at all.

So, what do you guys think? How do I bring it up to my pdoc?

You are sooooooo BPD welcome to the club!!!!

We have donuts on Wednesdays

[Skully]

Originally Posted by Baltazar

You are sooooooo BPD welcome to the club!!!!

We have donuts on Wednesdays

hahaha nice...I will bring the coffee!

[bpd2]

Oh, sure....by then you'll decide you like tea! and that nobody SAID you had to bring coffee, so what's your problem?

[Skully]

Originally Posted by bpd2

Oh, sure....by then you'll decide you like tea! and that nobody SAID you had to bring coffee, so what's your problem?

Boy you ge mouthy! Just for that I AM going to bring tea and you can't have any! So there! hahaha

[bpd2]

lol
try this:

I KNEW YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME!!! YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO TAKE EVERYONE AWAY FROM ME!!!!

(so, yeah...escalating like a rocket is one of the traits.....)

[kalisha36]

OMG this is the funniest of all threads right now.......... So needed to see this.....YOU all ROCK

[Skully]

Originally Posted by bpd2

lol
try this:

I KNEW YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME!!! YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO TAKE EVERYONE AWAY FROM ME!!!!

(so, yeah...escalating like a rocket is one of the traits.....)

Ok that's it...here come the boxing gloves...you're gonna get it now!!!

[kalisha36]

Seriously I am trying so hard to think of something "FUNNY" to say but I am seriously just freaking laughing....OMG.........

What a fruit loop I am lol.............

[bpd2]

Just typical...! Why can't we talk it out? Wait! Stay here and listen to me!!! Don't go!!!!!

[Skully]

Originally Posted by kalisha36

Seriously I am trying so hard to think of something "FUNNY" to say but I am seriously just freaking laughing....OMG.........

What a fruit loop I am lol.............

you want a piece of me too??? huh, do ya do ya??? lol

[Skully]

Originally Posted by bpd2

Just typical...! Why can't we talk it out? Wait! Stay here and listen to me!!! Don't go!!!!!

ok will listen

Taps foot waiting........

[kalisha36]

Originally Posted by Skully

you want a piece of me too??? huh, do ya do ya??? lol

If I wasn't freaking laughing so hard I would take you on in a heart beat.... Damn SERIOUSLY....This is absolutely HILARIOUS I cannot thank you guys enough...But watch out I could be cussing you out in about well hmm yepp 36.5 minutes

lol

[Skully]

Originally Posted by kalisha36

If I wasn't freaking laughing so hard I would take you on in a heart beat.... Damn SERIOUSLY....This is absolutely HILARIOUS I cannot thank you guys enough...But watch out I could be cussing you out in about well hmm yepp 36.5 minutes

lol

hahahaha too funny!!!!

[bpd2]

I can't....! (lots of incoherent crying, face in hands, then head thrown back, defiant) Look! I just can't....I....you're always so demanding!!!

[sugahorse1]

Not you too Skully - make up your mind if it's BPD or BP!??!

Lol

Don't worry; I'm in the same conundrum right now!

[Skully]

Originally Posted by kalisha36

If I wasn't freaking laughing so hard I would take you on in a heart beat.... Damn SERIOUSLY....This is absolutely HILARIOUS I cannot thank you guys enough...But watch out I could be cussing you out in about well hmm yepp 36.5 minutes

lol

Never take anything I say to heart...I am a big goof!

[Skully]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

Not you too Skully - make up your mind if it's BPD or BP!??!

Lol

Don't worry; I'm in the same conundrum right now!

You got some kind of problem???
hahahaha this is too much fun

I know sugarhorse....I just can't decide. I need to talk to pdoc, see him at the end of the month. If he says I am not bpd then I will ask him to explain why. I fit 6 of 9 criteria and that is alarming. Could just be me trying to make myself fit but I don't think so. With my training in mental health, it hit me yesterday what it really is I am going through. So maybe since I worked with my pdoc professionally he will take me seriously.

[sugahorse1]

I think I'm both... really.
I was first dx'd depressed, then bipolar, and then my T suggested BPD. So, right now I'm going with BPD and BP. A mood stabiliser, anti-depressant and Therapy seems to be helping me, regardless of what title this beast may have

[Skully]

my first dx was ADHD then we discovered the bipolar II. But some things just don't fit so I looked at my DSM and looked up a lot of different things I was thinking about. BPD fits perfect to the way I am feeling. So I will talk to pdoc on the 28th about it.

[bpd2]

My dx is both BP (mixed state, rapid cycling--of course! lol) and bpd. The bipolar dx is because I have had mania. And mania can be severe and extreme irritation that lasts for 4-10 days (or something like that). Mood charting helped a lot in sorting out what was what.

Also, I feel differently when one kind of episode or the other is kicking in. The bpd is a huge flash of feeling, overwhelming, with this tiny, nano-second of awareness?/choice?/fear of the ride that's coming? When it is bp, though, it is that I am in a different state of mind...I think differently---not a long way off mark, I'm still recognizable, but my choices aren't really.....

Does that help any?

[Skully]

Yes helps a lot thank you bpd2

Are the medications that treat bpd the same as bipolar? I think they are but I am just making sure there are no secret meds out there lol. I take lamictal and abilify now and that seems to be a good mix. Would hate to have to change meds again.....ugh

[cluelessgluten]

[quote=bpd2;1609307]My dx is both BP (mixed state, rapid cycling--of course! lol) and bpd. The bipolar dx is because I have had mania. And mania can be severe and extreme irritation that lasts for 4-10 days (or something like that). Mood charting helped a lot in sorting out what was what. quote]

BPD2 I was wondering what is a typical manic period. My Psychologist said I have BP lite what ever that means I don't recall ever being REALLY HIGH. I have had periods of elations and feeling like I can do things I really couldn't. I have periods were I cant get settled feel like I want to do something but don't know what it is and get real aggravated and don't want to be touched. I dont know I guess I really need to go back and see him again.

[bpd2]

Skully--the meds I take are Lamictal and Tegretol. I was on Abilify--and it was working-- but had to stop because of tremors. As far as I know, Abilify is the med of choice (wanted to say drug of choice.....) for bpd. It has good, positive research behind it. The mood stabilizers--lamictal and tegretol--are used for both bp and bpd. I have two add-ins as needed: ativan and Nu-Vigil. Ativan to knock "it" down, Nuvigil for days when I can hardly say hi to the kids and would prefer to sit and stare out the window, look at tree branches, twigs, uh, whatever. I've been on the tegretol and lamictal for about three years now. Sometimes we change the dosage (usually up), but they're still working...I have been hospitalized once within those three years, though, and also just before them...The hospital, for me, is brief: 4-12 days at the most. It's for safety, for a renewal of mindfulness skills (the place here uses DBT as a staple), and for med adjustment. Then back out, working hard in therapy.

Cluelessgluten, re:
BPD2 I was wondering what is a typical manic period. My Psychologist said I have BP lite what ever that means I don't recall ever being REALLY HIGH. I have had periods of elations and feeling like I can do things I really couldn't. I have periods were I cant get settled feel like I want to do something but don't know what it is and get real aggravated and don't want to be touched. I dont know I guess I really need to go back and see him again.

Maybe he means lite in terms of how long the periods last; but maybe he means lite in terms of how high the high, and how low the lows. A typical manic episode for me is at least 4 or 5 days--usually more like two weeks, and is so disruptive that at least one area of my life tanks: like, if I had a book report due as a kid, I got so excited about it that I read every book by the author that the library had (Henry James) and didn't sleep for more than one to two hours at a time for AND couldn't read my own writing. It didn't even look like my hand. I yelled at everyone over anything they did to distract me--like eating loudly enough that I could hear them....

My first med was thorazine....back in the old days....

When I was younger, I had episodes almost every three years to the month. After grad school and starting working, they were fewer upheavals. That helped a lot. The more schedule and routine AND freedom I can build into my life, the safer I am. Menopause really messed me up again. Still rebuilding from it, but I lost a lot then--career, friends, community support, a therapist--who decided he was unqualified.

I hope you laugh at this: (it is so crazy) Keep in mind that the bpd was happening right along side my adventures over the Himalayas of bi-polar! Love/hate, binges, cutting, not finishing one book before I picked up the other, remembering that I hadn't finished the first one, going back to it--rage if I couldn't find it...

So. My bipolar is incredible energy followed by such deep depressioin that I can't--really, really can't-- read more than three words in a row and have them make sense.

Now, though, I have a great psychiatrist--so good he even called it when I had a major vitamin D deficiency (level of 16), blew my GP away. And I have a therapist, a PsyD, who is tough and good. We've worked really, really hard, and my bpd is so much better. I'm a good mom now. I'm sure of it. This has come to mean everything to me...Five years ago, when my kids were 6 and 10, I didn't even know if they'd brushed their hair, and they were afraid of me. Now, we always kiss each other good night, I make them breakfast almost every morning--I mean MAKE it, not just cereal. I still have a lot of trouble remembering to do laundry...I let the dishes pile up, can't seem to keep from piling things up all over instead of putting them away, think about doing housework for days--and then do either a blitz that leaves me exhausted for at least a day, or do 10-30 minutes of cleaning in just one place, so that at least there is one place to rest my eyes that isn't chaos. But my kids are happy and proud of themselves. It's fairly amazing. I have to go bawl now...I am so grateful.

[Skully]

Originally Posted by bpd2

Skully--the meds I take are Lamictal and Tegretol. I was on Abilify--and it was working-- but had to stop because of tremors. As far as I know, Abilify is the med of choice (wanted to say drug of choice.....) for bpd. It has good, positive research behind it. The mood stabilizers--lamictal and tegretol--are used for both bp and bpd. I have two add-ins as needed: ativan and Nu-Vigil. Ativan to knock "it" down, Nuvigil for days when I can hardly say hi to the kids and would prefer to sit and stare out the window, look at tree branches, twigs, uh, whatever. I've been on the tegretol and lamictal for about three years now. Sometimes we change the dosage (usually up), but they're still working...I have been hospitalized once within those three years, though, and also just before them...The hospital, for me, is brief: 4-12 days at the most. It's for safety, for a renewal of mindfulness skills (the place here uses DBT as a staple), and for med adjustment. Then back out, working hard in therapy.

Then that is probably why the Abilify did the trick...I was on Geodon but it was making me dizzy and wasn't working very well. I have a good combo now and even with all the stress in my life I am doing great....maybe to great lol
I have valium 5mg as needed but haven't taken it in 2 weeks so all is good. I was in the hospital back in February after a really stupid act of trying to end my life...oh well, we live and we learn...I am never going back. I won't allow myself to get that bad again and I won't go off my meds again.