Hi everyone,

Some of you are already familiar with my situation...I've been in and out of hospital several times over the past 2 and a half years now, trying everything from anti-depressants, therapy, other medications, and even ECT. Some things helped, others made me worse. I reached a point where the doctors said the hospital couldn't do anything more for me...except provide a place to relax and rid myself of stress on occasion.

I was discharged from my last hospital admission on Dec. 13th...so it's been about a month and a half since I was last admitted. To me, this is a LONG time that I've been out of hospital. It feels wonderful to have been home for so long, and also, for this period of time I've hardly had any suicidal thinking!

What's really helped me is support from family and friends, reading a couple of self-help books (the one that's been most helpful to me is about CBT), and also distraction. Whenever I'm feeling blue or anxious, I do something that I enjoy doing to make myself feel better. This really helps.

I'm starting school in early February, my last semester of high school, and then I will be going to college for the Social Service Worker program. For once in my life in 2 and a half years, I'm actually excited about living, and experiencing the wonderful things life has to offer.

I guess I just wanted to post this since...as a person who has hit rock bottom several times, I know how it feels to feel like life will never get better, and there's no point to it. But please know that there IS hope, and help for you if you search for it. Sending hugs out to everyone on PC! (and sorry this post is so long!)

[Chronic]

(((((Melissa))))) I don't know your story, but I am so pleased you are in a better place. It sounds like you have really made progress since your last admission. I am glad you have lots of support around you too. Thanks for sharing this- it gives me hope

[shezbut]

That is great news, melissa!!

Great to hear that you are seeing an improvement.

I hope that your last semester in high school goes well (will it be a private school?). My last 1 1/2 years of school were finished at a private school. Not an "upper class" kind of thing ~ but one for "troubled teens". A much smaller group of students, working at their own pace. That was perfect for me! I didn't feel the social pressure, that's so intense at large public schools. Working at my own pace also helped me catch up for lots of lost time (due to my drop-out), and I graduated in January 89. ~Rather than June of 1988~

Best wishes to you, Melissa! Hope that everything continues to go well for you

Thanks Chronic! I'm glad to hear I could give you hope. I hope all is going well with you.

Thanks shezbut. To answer your question, I will be attending a normal public high school. I would prefer to attend a school where I could work at my own pace, but there is no such thing where I live. However, I do like the school I'm attending and the teachers there, so I think I'll enjoy it. Plus, if I'm going through a rough time the teachers are nice, and will usually give me more time to complete assignments and such.

[sundog]

So happy to hear how much better you are doing ((((((((((Melissa)))))))))))) Yay! It's a huge testament to your strength of character and commitment to getting better that you have come this far. Go you!!!!! Thanks so much for posting this!

[shezbut]

That's great to hear that you feel confident and secure in re-entering your school, and that the teachers are helpful to you. Awesome!

Best wishes to you (((melissa)))!!

[bpd2]

Melissa, YOU RULE!!!!!

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((melissa))))

I am so happy for you and will be praying that you continue to feel better. I hope you last semester in High School will go smoothly for you and that your future will blossom. You have come so far. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Know we are here for you and care. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[sugahorse1]

Awesome Melissa!
I've followed your story since I joined PC and know you've been through a lot. Thanks for giving back so much to your PC family. You are a real inspiration!