Chronic Feelings of Emptiness - what does this look like?

I was this thinking about this today and was trying to get a clearer picture of the chronic emptiness that is a symptom of BPD. For me, I think it presents as a boredom with myself and with life. Certain activities, things and people interest me, but I can grow bored with them too. I've found that I have filled this emptiness with things that provide immediate, short-term gratification - alcohol, sex, video games. At the same time, I neglect relationships, work activities, and other things that my brain tells me will be healthy for me. Or I will get involved with relationships that have a lot of drama - just to feel alive. When there is not short-term gratification or drama, I feel lost.
How does this work for other people here? What have you found to fill that emptiness? Does it last?

((hugs)) I try to fill the emptiness by looking at things that have brought me joy, things I have accomplished. (Not an easy task, b/c I often feel like I have accomplished nothing) I also really try to distract myself. Sometimes I just sit with the emptiness. But that normally leads to self-destructive behavior (mainly thoughts). Sorry I'm not much help. But know you are not alone.

Well...

There is a void inside of myself. A deep feeling that just haunts me.

I try to avoid feeling that emptiness through keeping myself busy. I avoid being alone because that emptiness becomes larger without distractions.

I have learned that my emptiness is inside of me. It's there whether I am with my daughters, my ex-hub, current bf, or current friends. It follows me wherever I go. For a while, I would quickly end a relationship to escape that feeling (thinking that the relationship was the cause). But, I can now see that the feeling comes from me.

I typically pull back when the emptiness becomes intense. From there, it works best to go work out. There are times, however, when that isn't a realistic option for me. Then, I clean. I try to work on word searches. In desperation, I drink a couple of beers to get me into a different state of mind. That works pretty well for me. I try not to do the last at all, but I am sometimes weak. Too weak to make myself simply feel the emotions and let them pass.

I always had a very hard time with the "emptiness" description. I just couldn't relate. But then I realized that for me, I fill myself up with work. I'm a workaholic. The emptiness comes when I go home. I'm one of those people who hates vacations. I don't REALLY hate them. I look forward to them, but then once I'm actually experiencing my week or two off, I find myself lost and aimless. I crave the routine and drive of a full work week. But the scale can tip very easily over to overwhelmed and then I'm in trouble because I've taken on too much. It's a delicate balancing act because I've come to realize that I've lived my life to work and that's not a healthy thing.

This is something I really battle with. My best coping mechanism is to just keep busy and also not allow myself to sit with the feeling. It makes me dig a deeper hole, that I battle to get out of. It helps me to share with other people- either here, or a friend I can confide in.
Then, it becomes something I work on in therapy.

I too try to distract myself, and then when I am sitting alone on the bus I often find myself crying, because I am left alone with my thoughts.
Empty feels like not really being there when I am with a group. I know I should be having fun, but then I think why am I here I should have just stayed home alone. I fight that by making myself be out with people. Even if I hate it the whole time and just sit there and stare in to space and chain smoke.

My goodness, I know so very well how you are feeling. And for me it's this big hole, kind of feels like it is inside my heart, and bottomless.

I think everyone has good suggestions. I KNOW the staying busy thing makes a big difference.

However, I also think sometimes our minds and bodies just need to cry it out, to think it through and just be sad for a while. It is cathartic, and sometimes necessary to get to the other side. That whole "You only appreciate the good when you have felt the bad" kind of thing.

Another thing is to realize, and really believe- that there is no right or wrong way to feel. No "shoulds".

I don't think there is one solution for this, except maybe to learn how to take one thing at a time, and not group all of your worries together. Tomorrow is gone, today will be soon, and tomorrow who knows. Life is a process and you will learn what works and what doesn't, and you can make it better slowly, a little at a time. In other words, don't set your expectations so high that you will be likely to "fail". Baby steps, and celebrate each one.

And then, when it doesn't work, put it away and just keep going. Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best that you can, by thinking and talking about it, and making attempts to improve your life.

Bottom line is that our hurt is NOT bottomless, even if it feels that way.