[agma]

Lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about BPD. I have never been diagnosed with it, but I fit a lot of the diagnostic categories. I have really wanted to ask my T about it, but I am always to afraid to bring it up during my session. So, a little background on me...I was officially diagnosed with depression about 4 years ago. I have been on meds and in therapy since, and I have had two hospitalizations. I struggle with SIB, a strong fear of abanonment, anger issues, mood swings, rocky relationships (one day I like someone, the next I don't...) and when I am really struggling, I start to have feelings of paranoia. The pdoc and T I saw a couple of years ago wanted me to do DBT, but I moved before being able to do it. DBT is not very common in the area that I live in now. I currently see my T every other week, but I feel like I need more support from her right now, but I am too afraid to ask her to have weekly appointments. Things at work have been extremely stressful lately as one of my co-workers is on maternity leave, and it is summer (Which is always a crazy busy time for work anyways). I have only been in my position for 4 months, and it is the first time that I have ever worked in this type of position (which is just adding to the stress). My co-workers and I get along great, they have been very supportive as I learn everything. Last week one of my co-workers' staff had a mental break down. I didn't like the way it was handled...I felt like my co-workers were being very insensitive towards this staff. I am now extremely afraid that I am going to say something out of anger that is going to give away my struggle with mental illness. I am very afraid of how they would treat me if it did come out.....would they talk about me like they are talking about this staff? I have had so many thoughts and fears running through my head during the past few days that it is extremely hard to separate them all and concentrate on what I am trying to work on. I am struggling and don't know what to do........

[twistedsister]

I have BPD plus alot more stuff. It takes alot to walk the line and not be found out. If you would like to chat let me know. I am not sure how much that I can help. But hey I am here.
hugs
Torn

[Korana]

It definitely sounds like BPD, but only a therapist can truly diagnose it. I know it's difficult for someone with BPD to suggest a diagnosis because you feel like you're manipulating your therapist. I did. I wanted her to see it herself. I was terrified I was just unhappy and all the other 'stuff' was a figment of my imagination and that I would always be unhappy because I made it happen over and over.
But upfront and ask your therapist about the condition, suggest the possibility of you having it and ask them to check it out for themselves.

[agma]

Thanks for the advice and support. I see my T tomorrow. Torn, I would love to chat. I could really use some additional support right now. I suppose it isn't helping that my husband is clueless as to how bad I feel right now. He was with me during my hospitalizations, so he is aware that I used to injure and really struggle. I have had just enough courage to tell him that I am struggling with my moods a little. He is unaware of how severe the mood swings can be, the anger, and that I have injured within the past two years (let alone within the past 24 hours). I feel like I really need to talk to someone, besides my T, who will understand.

[Flooded]

I'll just say that having a diagnosis of BPD is not the end of the world.

IF you do indeed have BPD, there is support available.

[saidee]

From the very little I know about BPD and DBT and that is little. DBT is only for people with BPD, that it is a specific therapy. If your Former Dr and Therapist suggested it for you, it was probably because they thought you had BPD. I would let your therapist now know that, that was what you were asked to do and go from there. I Just got diagnosed and I start DBT tomorrow, I guess I will let you know how that goes.

I'd like to just add that DBT is now being used with many more different types of clients. Although Marsha Linehan originally developed DBT specifically for individuals with BPD, it is now being successfully used with individuals with eating disorders, adolescents with emotional dysregulation/difficulty self-soothing and with individuals with anxiety disorders and Bipolar Disorder. The greatest amount of research in the use of DBT is with people with BPD, but they're starting to rack up the results with other disorders as well.

[saidee]

Good to know, like I said I do not know hardly anything about it.

[Forgive77]

I love my DBT and CBT!! It helps so much. I'm currently working on the negative thoughts running through my head, and have made a list with my therapist on what to start telling myself. I read it to make myself feel better. I posted a song today that a friend gave me.

It would have been a good place for me to start. I've been in DBT, and CBT for almost a year now...and I'm just starting to believe it...try to be a little faster than me if you can. LOL I was really locked down. I'm going to be 34 on the 7th... Better late than never. A good book I just started reading is called, "Get Me Out of Here." I'm like on page 60. So far...I am this woman. Good luck to you. Here is a great place to start with great supportive people. Good for you!! You made the right choice!